Responsibility of Thirds......

RP-

I have offered to read out loud, I've suggested getting them on tape.

The thing is (and I've watched this for YEARS) if something is important to YOU as an individual-you find time to fit it in.
If it's not important to you personally-you will FIND a million excuses for not doing it.

I wanted to lose weight. But I didn't want to work at it. I made a MILLION excuses for not working out-for YEARS.

Finally I started forcing myself to do it-and asked GG to help force me too.
Two years after starting that, I am FINALLY at a point where I actually crave it enough to go do it without being dragged kicking and screaming.
TWO YEARS.

But NOW I have a personal interest and goal. I finally reached a point where I personally ENJOY it also.

The guys say there is "never" time. But GG was on the computer this morning and last night. He OFTEN finds time to look at movie trailers online. Often enough that my sister was rolling her eyes yesterday over him "not having time to read".
Both the guys watch movies almost every weekend.

When I first decided I needed to find a way to fix my marriage-I committed to reading for 15 minutes on my lunch break. That was ONLY 15 minutes DURING my lunch break each day-but by the end of a 5 day week that turns into over 1 hour a week of reading.

When i figured out that I was never getting a break from the kids-I committed to taking a bath in the evening-usually 1/2 hour. WHEN I take a bath, I read. ( I don't do it every evening and haven't done it at all in the two weeks prior to this week).
EITHER of the guys could do the same.

Everyone goes to bed betwen 9-10 around here, except GG. If he REALLY wanted to read the book (which he doesn't, and that's why it wasn't even on the book shelf with the books he DOES want to read) he could commit to reading for 15 minutes (which would not put him to sleep) every night at 10, because he has to be up till midnight (he's on call for work til then) anyway.

It's all about priorities (as GG always says).

IF something is important to you-you will bust your ass to find a way to make it happen.
IF something is not important to you-you won't make it happen.
 
I guess its not a big enough priority for him then. Maybe reading isn't the priority, but the priority of how to have a better relationship is the worry.

How do you intend to achieve that GG? Maybe you have a plan we don't know of?

It sounds like one is needed at this point. A strategic plan. We just did that around buying a house. Everyone has their role and we wrote it all down. Its a contract essentially. If someone doesn't pull their weight then we all lose. I personally don't want to be responsible for that. Especially as its so easy to just do as I say I am and put positive energy into our relationship when I can. If I can't, I need to have a reason and put it in another way at another time.
 
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A plan!

THAT would be awesome RP.

I think sometimes the guys get bogged down in thinking they have to find the answers the SAME WAY I DO or they "don't count".

But really-I don't give a DAMN how they find the answers! :)

What I care about is that they DO.

I get frustrated because they ask for help (Like Maca coming on here and asking for help) then people tell them where to find it (like Poly/mono suggesting books specific to the issues at hand) and they blow it off (pick your reason) but continue to complain about the same problem.........................

WHY should I keep trying to help you find an answer if none of my suggestions will you even try?

You know?

:rolleyes:
 
hmmmm...like there are different love languages...there are different methods of learning and introspection. Not everything works for everyone.

I do empathize with where you are coming from but maybe they just haven't been shown a method to learn that they can relate to.

Personally, I am introspective to a fault (yes it can be bad), I learn best from online sources aka real life examples. Reading a book, while I did read them, was good, but only a little effective. The whole self help revolution, for example, baffles me. Heck anything closely resembling traditional education irks me to no end. A good way to make me angry is to tell me there is a test at the end of a chapter :)

My wife, can't do the online thing, has a hard time relating to real life examples because if it doesn't 100% fit her situation she ignores it. She can and will pick up the book and thats more her method of understanding. She also tends to walk into things blindly and hopes for the best, relying on those around her to keep her propped up and slowly learns. (yes this is dangerous, but it is a quirk I sometimes love and sometimes loath...)

I am definitely not saying you don't have a right to be frustrated, but maybe your guys haven't been shown a method that works for them?...Maybe there should be a thread about different methods to understand and learn about poly relationships...books, movies etc...who knows :)...
 
Shouldn't they be figuring out their own way methods A? They know enough about themselves to take a look at the way they do things and compare to others.

Like I was saying in my other thread, its my responsibility to do things for myself and be a good guest in others lives in terms of pulling my weight in relationships. I also need to host others in terms of them finding their own path and me talking about it with them, asking questions and letting them go at their pace.

When we talked about buying a house last week we first talked about the common goal. Nerdist and I were very frustrated with each other and when we get that way we first decide if we have the same goal. In this case we did. I can go into what happens if we don't another time, but we have the goals now down on paper and can reference them.

Next was to figure out what was the source of frustration. I like to make sure he keeps his integrity and respect him in these situations as it is so easy to fall into bashing him because "I" think he is wrong. He might be wrong in my eyes, but what gives me the right to be right. He is worth as much as I am. Instead I remain inquistive as he does with me. We suggest ideas to each other bases on history, check to make sure our information is valid still, express how we feel etc. All the while walking hand in hand with one another rather than me leading him down the path I think he should go down. I used to do that, but don't any more because it undermines his right to his own path and frankly is far too much work. I have my self to think about, not everyone else around me. Partner to me means just that, someone who takes care of their own issues and is with me in my quest to deal with mine. I don't become their issue and they don't become mine.

What we came to is that, we are different in our approaches to goals. I drew out a diagram to show the filling of a fish tank. The tank full is the goal achieved. Nerdist fills slowly and takes each step at a time. He doesn't invest emotion in the result until he gets there. I throw buckets of water in and get excited that we are going to have a full tank! Yay! More water! Run back to the tap, fill up again, throw it in...! Yays, look, its fuller! :D crazier way of doing it but works just as well. I get frustrated that he doesn't get excited and think I have to drag him or have to inspire, he freaks out that I want to do more than he signed up for and tries to slow me down. We decided to rely on the goals we made, trust them, and unless they change, let us be who we are in the process. He has rights to tease me about my process and I have rights to tease him in order to keep our stress levels down by using humour. In order to enjoy it together.

This is hopefully more specific about what I mean about writing goals down and talking about how each of you get to them LR.

In asking him how he is going to solve this problem I am hopefully inspiring him to do so. It is his problem as much as it is all of yours because he is being kept from solving it his way.

What do you have to work with GG? What are your goals for your relationships in your family?

I am really intersted to know and I am sure others are too. You don't have to write them here, but thinking about it is the first step and then voicing how you will achieve them. Then, sticking with it. If you want to be in your family situation then its time to be you AND be a family member.
 
Shouldn't they be figuring out their own way methods A? They know enough about themselves to take a look at the way they do things and compare to others.
.

Absolutely, I didn't mean for the onus to fall on LR :)

She wants them to learn, they may have different methods, they need to figure it out :)...by "shown" I mean anything from finding it themselves, to a friend to...well any resource possible.

btw we seem to have similar methods to filling the fish tank...haha...

My wife and I did an exercise to help our new self discovery (not the fish tank btw)...we both wrote down our goals. This included sexual, relationship, financial etc. We found a few common grounds (this was very similar to the bdsm checklist that lets you compare your kinks with a potential partner). Within those results we both made action plans on our primary goals. Detailing what we would do to get to those results.

At least then I could see what she was doing and hopefully notice her progress. I don't see some of the things she does as moving forward, even though they are. Where she see my progress as leaps and bounds and jumping into things without thinking, even though its quite the opposite.
 
There does seem to be a theme of different process minded people coming together. I admire my differences from both my men. I miss stuff my way sometimes.
LR might "want" something, but, again, he has to want it too, other wise there is no value in it. He has to value what she wants too. Make it a common goal. If it isn't then LR has to adjust. She can't make him do anything.

Taking the bag for instance. If I were to think of that in terms of me being GG I would not necessarily understand what value there is in taking things to a consignment store. I'm assuming you take things there LR to make a little extra cash. They may very well only take seasonal things as some places only take seasonal stuff. I am assuming GG didn't know all this or care. Not because he doesn't love you or not value what you want, but because he didn't know how much you value such things.

Maybe taking a moment to look him in the eyes and say, this is important to me and this why, would help him get it. You are unable to achieve what you normally would take for granted LR, that's what this is about I think (again assuming). Explaining to him that it would make you feel like you have taken care of something if he did such and such might instill in him a reason. Otherwise, who cares, its just a bag of stuff and the consignment store will be there when you are able to take it. Really its superficial compared to jeopardising the positive energy in your relationship. At least in my mind anyways.

Another way to look at it is to ask how you might feel if he were to ask you to wash his car when he is sick. Okay, knowing you, you would probably do it, but you might just wonder if it really matters. To him it does, to you it may seem silly and lack value.

I disagree that we should expect others to do things because we value them and they don't. If we value them and they don't then we should do them and leave it alone if they refuse.

It is a whole other thing when someone says they will and then don't. Not okay with me. I would prefer they say they don't value it at this time and refuse.

Usually if I market it in terms of my need to get things done because I am unwell, the value changes and it becomes about helping someone in need rather than the job itself. Some people see things literally, some don't. Maybe make it literal by saying what is behind it. I can't do what I value right now, I want to participate in the family but I need you to help me feel useful. Maybe that would help. That rather than, please take the bag to this place and getting frustrated that it didn't happen. It may sound obvious to you LR but not to GG. I hope this make some sense and you realize I made a lot of assumptions based on my own life experience. Hopefully you and others get something out of that.
 
All the while walking hand in hand with one another rather than me leading him down the path I think he should go down. I used to do that, but don't any more because it undermines his right to his own path and frankly is far too much work. I have my self to think about, not everyone else around me. Partner to me means just that, someone who takes care of their own issues and is with me in my quest to deal with mine. I don't become their issue and they don't become mine.

I really think this is KEY to what the issue is at it's heart.

It's been a couple years in the making, but I figured out that I just could not handle all of the responsibility I was taking on.
I started by making myself walk daily, because my weight bothered me, but I'd been making excuses of not being able to work out because of all the other crap I needed to do/get done.
I then decided I was dropping the babysitting schedule I had (it wasn't a job I was paid for). Now I take these extra kids I love so much when it's CONVENIENT FOR ME. Instead of taking them every single day their parents need to go to work.
Then I changed some of how I deal with things at home with chores, kids, extra curricular for the kids etc.
Then I "came out" to Maca.

Somewhere in there I started seriously, diligently doing some soul searching and never stopped.

More recently I decided that I need to stop "mothering" GG. So I made a rule for myself that if he doesn't ASK I don't answer. I was NOTORIOUS for seeing him having an issue, and making myself sick at night thinking of the best solution for him based on who he is and what he wanted and needed.
While I commend myself for not using what would be more convenient or better for ME in making those decisions and then sharing them with him, I was wasting a LOT of time and energy. Because (at least in theory) he should be more able to identify what it is he needs to do to solve his issues in the best way for him-becuase he IS HIMSELF.

So I stopped.No I wasn't a bitch about it-I told him what I was doing AND WHY. But interestingly enough-even though I've told him that I'm not going to answer the "unasked question". He's primarily not asking. He is frustrated, hurt, angry, depressed, hopeless, moody, whiny to use his word. He makes statements, but asks few if any questions (praise to him he did write a question in our diary last night-and I answered it).

I do not have time to guide other people in life. I don't mind answering the questions, giving suggestions....

I just feel that if I give you a suggestion-and you come back with the same complaint having not TRIED the suggestion then you are wasting MY time-and my time is becoming expensive.

A couple years ago a friend told me something about time.
I can't recall the exact something-but the point has remained with me.
Our time costs us. So we need to value it.
What is our time WORTH.
A Dr. may value his time (based on what we pay them) $100-600 for a 15 minute slot. That works out to just over $4 a minute to $40 a minute...

I don't know that I value my time so high, but I damn sure do value it more than FREE. So I need to decide if the things I'm spending my time on are "reimbursing me" to a degree worthy of spending my time on them.

More and more things I find are NOT.

Helping people is.

BUT helping someone implies that they themselves are doing something to help themselves.

Doing FOR someone who is not helping themselves is no longer worth my time to me.
 
RP I hope he will write out his goals here. I'm interested in reading the answers.

I have asked those questions.
ACTUALLY that's part of the issue right now. He's tweaked because I ask the question-take the answer and then tailor my decisions about what I am doing around those answers.

BUT those answers aren't always very well thought out (which I'm well aware of) and then they tend to have consequences that he didn't want (which I also knew would happen as I know what he doesn't want quite well and I did think it through).

What I'm NOT doing-is tailoring my actions to give him what he wants. Because THAT requires me to THINK IT ALL UP FOR HIM-and I'm tired. I need a partner, not another child.

He tells me this is his family.
He tells me this family (and me) are his priority.
He tells me that he would die for me (or the kids).
He tells me that he loves me.
He tells me that he would do anything I needed.

But what does that work out to meaning in day to day life?

Don't get me wrong-RP-he does do things every day-and I SEE THEM. But I am interested in knowing what it is HE wants to see himself doing in day to day life. What is it he see's as the "perfect picture" for his life, in work, in relationships, as a parent, as a friend, as a lover, etc.

I'm reading "The Seven Levels Of Intimacy" by Matthew Kelly right now. (FYI-I didn't ask GG to read it). It talks about how the POINT of our lives is to become the best we can be and that the point of our relationships are to help each other with becoming the best we can each be in our lives.

I'm really curious what it is that GG thinks is "the best he can be" in his life and how he thinks that he can accomplish that-and how I can help.

I know what I think is the best I can be, and I know what the steps are that I need to take to get there (one MAJOR one was getting my health issues dealt with which is why so many surgeries all at one time). I know how he can help me. But I don't feel like I can even bring that up-because at this point I don't think he's even considered it in terms of himself and his life.

My friend (same friend) said to me today,
"What would you do if you knew you could not ever fail?"

There is a question I'd like to hear his answer to also.
 
LR might "want" something, but, again, he has to want it too, other wise there is no value in it. He has to value what she wants too. Make it a common goal. If it isn't then LR has to adjust. She can't make him do anything.
Exactly-and boy howdy-the adjustment is wrecking havoc on the situation! It upsets him because what I wanted-he says he wants, but he says he can't figure out how to do it.
Example:Quoting what he wrote to me,
"I don't know how to be your man when you have another. It's how its been the whole time since you've been married. I was there doing his job when he wasn't. How do I do that when he is?How do I do what he did when he was gone? When he wasn't taking care of you? How do I keep doing that? How can I be on his level and have the same position as him when I've spent 10 years defering to him?....
I don't want to be secondary to you."

How the hell do I answer this one any clearer? To me its simple, keep doing it.
What seems to be confused here is that
TO ME what he was doing was between HE AND I.
It wasn't about "pretending to be Maca" or "doing Maca's job".

It was MY beloved BEING my beloved.

What upset me is that he STOPPED.

He says he's spent 10 years defering to Maca while doing all of the things for me that Maca wasn't doing but can't figure out how to keep doing the things that he's been doing WHILE DEFERING to Maca because he feels inclined to defer to Maca.
HUH?:confused:

Taking the bag for instance. If I were to think of that in terms of me being GG I would not necessarily understand what value there is in taking things to a consignment store. I'm assuming you take things there LR to make a little extra cash. They may very well only take seasonal things as some places only take seasonal stuff. I am assuming GG didn't know all this or care. Not because he doesn't love you or not value what you want, but because he didn't know how much you value such things.
I actually take the stuff there because they give credit that can be used to get stuff from them-and they carry kids clothing and toys. So we buy a lot of the kids clothing there. Ironically-GG is a BIG thrift store purchaser and does the SAME things with all of our books. He takes the used books into the consignment bookstore and exchanges them for credit to get new books for him, me and the kids. He did know that they only take the bags the first 2 weeks of each month and why I wanted it done.
But the ACTUAL taking of it-that's just not a priority to him. So he said he would do it (because he wanted to make me happy?) when I asked if that was something he could do on his way to or from work. But then he put it off for MONTHS and by that time, there were MORE bags. They also only take 2 bags a month per person and he knew that too.
SO I ended up having to get someone else to do it.

The real stupid part is I would normally do it myself-but (and he is VERY VERY well aware of this) I can't lift anything over 5lbs (since October) and can't drive (pretty much since October), so I CAN'T do it myself.
Instead I try to do the things I can, like fold his laundry (he got it washed today-I folded it and took it to his room), same with the kids laundry and of course my own.
I did do dishes, but right now I can't do that either.
I do pay all of the bills and send the checks and whatever for him and us.

Maybe taking a moment to look him in the eyes and say, this is important to me and this why, would help him get it.
:( I did, I do. Not only that, I generally ask-IS this something you can do? Because there are 3 adults+ the 18 year old daughter I can ask. He says YES and then he doesn't do it.

Really its superficial compared to jeopardising the positive energy in your relationship. At least in my mind anyways.
The bag is superficial RP. It was his choice of example. I waited a few months. Then I got someone else to do it. Mind you-that someone else did ask "wasn't GG going to do this?" and that led to a whole family conversation since it was then brought up to him. If it were JUST the bag-or even JUST since I had the medical b.s. it wouldn't be such a big deal-the thing is, it's all of the time and it's not just me. In fact it's LEAST often a problem for me.
He does this in every area of his life-and to everyone he deals with. It's bothering him, the reason it's come up right now with me, is that I decided not to be his enabler anymore. I decided that since I can't depend on him to be dependable, I wouldn't depend on him....

BUT that comes with some consequences and those consequences are even MORE obvious right now because of my health issues.....

Another way to look at it is to ask how you might feel if he were to ask you to wash his car when he is sick. Okay, knowing you, you would probably do it, but you might just wonder if it really matters. To him it does, to you it may seem silly and lack value.
I get your point-but I can HONESTLY say that without a doubt, this is what would happen:

I would think it was silly. I would stare at him a few seconds with my left eyebrow raised.
Then I would walk my butt to the garage, find a bucket, go upstairs fill it with hot soapy water and ask someone to carry it outside for me.
I would ask Maca to hook up the hose, and while he did I would go get my washcloth-yes I own ONE mark it ONE washcloth personally, which for the record was a b-day present from GG.
THEN I would go wash the stupid truck. I would rinse it and wipe it dry and make sure it was actually clean. I would wash the wheel wells and the tires and behind the tires (but I wouldn't bother drying those).
I would get into the inside, take all the myriad shit he has piled up in the seat and floorboard out (one item at a time) and figure out what the hell it belonged to and where it should go.
Then I would put the trash in the dumpster (pet peeve-why do they bring the car trash in the house when there is a dumpster in the driveway?).
I would put the work stuff on the shelf I created for him in the dining room for his work stuff.
I would put away the stuff that was just "not put away".
THEN I would clean dash, inside of the windows, inside of the doors (including that part that isn't in or out that gets missed all the time), the radio, steering wheel, stick shift etc. Vacuum the seats and the floor.
And being me-I would then spray the drivers seat with my perfume just to be a butt.
I disagree that we should expect others to do things because we value them and they don't. If we value them and they don't then we should do them and leave it alone if they refuse.
That would be fine-IF HE REFUSED. My point to him is that his ACTIONS refuse-but his words keep saying yes and I simply can't take it anymore so I'm not going to ask.

It is a whole other thing when someone says they will and then don't. Not okay with me. I would prefer they say they don't value it at this time and refuse.
Exactly! Cause then I know to ask someone else if I need help with it!

It may sound obvious to you LR but not to GG. I hope this make some sense and you realize I made a lot of assumptions based on my own life experience. Hopefully you and others get something out of that.
Oh it made PERFECT sense to me RP. :) I just hope it helps GG and anyone else reading it too.

I love him-make no mistake. I won't give up on our relationship. But it's a "time of growth" and that is often quite painful. This is proving to not be an exception to that rule.
 
My oh my there is some learnin goin on here! I hope it's GG that is too!

I like your exercising example... I think that hit the nail on the head for me. I just went for a run, hated every minute of it, and now am feeling great.... sometimes we just have to do these seemingly stupid things and suck it up, because after we see the benefits.:p
 
Excuse my intoxication, but is there something in the water making our men lose their damn minds? I haven't read the updates since this afternoon. I'll go back an read them tomorrow. I'm just trolling because today.. my first day truly being okay again was flushed away by my boyfriend and now i can't sleep... and boys are poo in my eyes at the moment. lol So myeah... Forgive me
 
I JUST got back from a 4.3 mile walk-1 hr 15 minutes. Gotta make up my time AGAIN. :(
But I will.
Still have to be careful for now. But that's not a major loss on time, just a little one.

It was chilly-but not cold, snow melting off (again) and the roads are dry. Sun out-ah can't wait for summer!!!

Sometimes it sucks the things you have to do to get what you want. But if you want it bad enough-you find that the sucky things are tolerable.

I want to do an ironman triathlon. That means training. I have a blister on my toe-that sucks, it hurts, it's annoying. But I walked anyway-because I WANT TO DO THE IRONMAN. It's all about priorities.

Really the question for GG isn't do you want this relationship (fortunately for him that's not my style).
It's HOW do you want this relationship. He SAYS "I don't want to be secondary..."
But he also says, "I can't prioritize you above all the rest."

THAT IS NOT a PRIMARY relationship. Or to put it in less "threatening terms" that is NOT a PRIMARY PRIORITY.

My NUMBER ONE priority for 18+ years has been my kids.
That means that they WERE PRIORITIZED over EVERY ONE ELSE in my life............

Get it?

I do get the concept that multiple people can be equally important to a person-I even get that people who are NOT equally important might have equal importance at specified times.

I was telling a friend yesterday-IF Maca was home after a major surgery (like I am right now) and she called heartbroken over relationship problems, I wouldn't NOT be there for her. I would tell her to come over.
Because I could listen to her, hold her, be a friend to her AND take care of Maca's needs if she were HERE, but I WOULD NOT LEAVE HIS SIDE to go be with her.

On the other hand,
IF she was in a car accident with her kids-and the cops called because she and her husband died, and the grandparents were out of town, I would leave Maca and go to the hospital to get those three kids ASAP.
AND
Maca would expect me to, because he's not DYING. I would bring those kids back HERE where I could care for him AND THEM.

Ironically that book that Polynerdist suggested maca read, Living Happily Ever After by Marsha Sinetar talks about the solution I used in that example-
CREATIVE ADAPTATION.

She talks about how IMPERATIVE it is to have this in order to have a happy, fulfilled life (in chapter ONE).

She outlines on page 19 (which is only the third page in the first chapter) that "our emotions are translated into attitudes, thus becoming assets or liabilities. We use our emotions to help us apply our knowledge or to keep us stuck."

THIS is key for you GG-which you damn well know-as you READ this part of the book, and TOLD ME this was an issue you needed to deal with-before putting the book down and walking away from it all.

"If a person's attitude is negative when facing a predicament, if he doesn't wish to be bothered with the situation, if it intimidates him, if he characteristically backs away from problems, it matters little how much knowledge he has. Negative attitudes are likely to result in maladaptive responses rather than creatively adaptive ones. Attitudes determine how a person uses his knowledge to solve problems."

"Many people undermine their own creativity-and their own happiness-by overplanning or by being negative. They thwart their ability to meet new experiences effectively. In fact, they may actively fight a change-resist it at every turn. Often their own greatest battle is with themselves; they resist their own growth and personal development. This as we shall see, limits their ability to be creative and also deprives them of joy."


THAT is the issue.

MORE pertinent quotes-next page...

"They lean on others to do their thinking for them."

"Or they adopt passive, helpless responses, even physical limitations, that prevent them from making fuitful choices and actions."

"They may get more pleasure out of complaining than out of mastering their situation."

"Our ability to change and adapt successfully to life's pressures and problems lies within us, not with a strong other. Our inner resources help us confront outer circumstances in a uniquely competent way.Our creative adaptive response comes from developing this inner set of resources, and this development stirs in us a state of being in which fear-although experienced-is not debilitating."

AND THIS ONE IS KEY TODAY after reading the pity party entry I have to point the importance of THIS quote which GG-again-you ALREADY READ...

"Each of us has the choice to interpret a life event in a way that either builds our strength and self-respect or undermines it."

I COULD have let you not being the way I expected lead me to feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness etc. BUT that's NOT PRODUCTIVE so I started searching for what I could learn from it-and then worked on LEARNING IT.

YOU COULD be taking the same tactic. You could be looking at this and saying, "huh, I didn't realize. So what CAN I learn from all of this and what do I want to do from here." then do it.
Instead you write me PAGES of "poor poor me". YOU KNEW that's what it was before I read it-because you TOLD ME SO.
TO WHAT END?????
WHAT is the point? Seriously-I want to know.

WHAT is the point of what you wrote?
 
Excuse my intoxication, but is there something in the water making our men lose their damn minds? I haven't read the updates since this afternoon. I'll go back an read them tomorrow. I'm just trolling because today.. my first day truly being okay again was flushed away by my boyfriend and now i can't sleep... and boys are poo in my eyes at the moment. lol So myeah... Forgive me

I apologize for giggling. I hope you are doing ok. It's quite possible-but if so it's likely to be a HUGE world issue, because we don't all live in the same area..........
 
Excuse my intoxication, but is there something in the water making our men lose their damn minds? I haven't read the updates since this afternoon. I'll go back an read them tomorrow. I'm just trolling because today.. my first day truly being okay again was flushed away by my boyfriend and now i can't sleep... and boys are poo in my eyes at the moment. lol So myeah... Forgive me


Im srry that your having a rough time with your BF. It seems to be going around. But dont give up hope on us guys. <HUGS>

Peace and Love
Maca
 
I apologize for giggling. I hope you are doing ok. It's quite possible-but if so it's likely to be a HUGE world issue, because we don't all live in the same area..........

LOL It's a PANDEMIC!!! This just in... women are not the emotional basket cases. It was a big undercover plot to hide the real culprits! :p

I'm okay really. I'm just having a "can a girl get a break" moment... I want to be there for my men, but I can't do that when I keep getting trampled by their issues. I've been through alot recently (which you can way more than relate to) and I need to build myself back up a little. He needs space to "figure something out" So I'm being very boy and knocking a few back and I will stroll into work with my shades on and tell myself TGIF all day long... :cool:hopefully. lol
 
Im srry that your having a rough time with your BF. It seems to be going around. But dont give up hope on us guys. <HUGS>

Peace and Love
Maca

We never do. That's why yall love us so much :rolleyes: Thanks for the hug, who knew a digital hug on a web forum could mean so much... really.
 
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