CaptainUnderpants
New member
So I recently had an experience that made the point of how hideous our current societal norms are with respect to monogamy.
My therapy is my 12 step program fellowship. Several weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, I thought I would go to a different meeting. I saw one in the directory relating to Sex and Sobriety. I thought. Hmmm. I like sex.... I like sobriety, I will try that meeting. Then I thought, that is probably a men's meeting.... yep..... it is also probably a gay meeting..... yep. But I went anyway figuring the gay experience is a more out of the box and they will identify.
Well yes, I was correct, it was a gay meeting. Great group of guys. We each had an opportunity to share. I shared that I had come out to my wife as poly about 4 months ago.
Sharing this in a group in this context illuminated the preposterous nature of this confession. Yes, I am married. Yes, I have a girlfriend. No my girlfriend and I have not had sex, but it is a very intimate relationship. Yes, my wife and I have swung so we are not virgins with regards to openness.
So what is the essence of my confession..... "That I have the ability to love more than one person".
HOLY CRAP, STOP THE PRESSES. This is blasphemous and newsworthy..... NOT!
The huge news should be on the other side of the coin. People who can't love more than one person should be of greater societal concern. Like if you are diagnosed with Monogamy, you should go to the doctor.
Doctor: What is wrong.
Patient: Once I am in a relationship. I no longer have the ability to Love.
Doctor: I think I know what it is... Your "Heart" or "Lover" is broken. You have........ Monogamy.
Patient: Will I be ok?
Doctor: I am afraid not. You will live a marginalized and less than full life.
Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with Monogamy. But neither should there be an issue with Poly. Poly should be as normative as monogamy.
This is really just me working on casting off societies chains, that I have allowed placed on myself. And this little experience allowed me to see the hideousness of the "Coming Out" process.
End of Rant... Back to your regularly scheduled program.
My therapy is my 12 step program fellowship. Several weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, I thought I would go to a different meeting. I saw one in the directory relating to Sex and Sobriety. I thought. Hmmm. I like sex.... I like sobriety, I will try that meeting. Then I thought, that is probably a men's meeting.... yep..... it is also probably a gay meeting..... yep. But I went anyway figuring the gay experience is a more out of the box and they will identify.
Well yes, I was correct, it was a gay meeting. Great group of guys. We each had an opportunity to share. I shared that I had come out to my wife as poly about 4 months ago.
Sharing this in a group in this context illuminated the preposterous nature of this confession. Yes, I am married. Yes, I have a girlfriend. No my girlfriend and I have not had sex, but it is a very intimate relationship. Yes, my wife and I have swung so we are not virgins with regards to openness.
So what is the essence of my confession..... "That I have the ability to love more than one person".
HOLY CRAP, STOP THE PRESSES. This is blasphemous and newsworthy..... NOT!
The huge news should be on the other side of the coin. People who can't love more than one person should be of greater societal concern. Like if you are diagnosed with Monogamy, you should go to the doctor.
Doctor: What is wrong.
Patient: Once I am in a relationship. I no longer have the ability to Love.
Doctor: I think I know what it is... Your "Heart" or "Lover" is broken. You have........ Monogamy.
Patient: Will I be ok?
Doctor: I am afraid not. You will live a marginalized and less than full life.
Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with Monogamy. But neither should there be an issue with Poly. Poly should be as normative as monogamy.
This is really just me working on casting off societies chains, that I have allowed placed on myself. And this little experience allowed me to see the hideousness of the "Coming Out" process.
End of Rant... Back to your regularly scheduled program.