Update
Things move along, the universe changes shape each day, some things unexpected, & some not.
I guess I'll post an update...
Life has been odd recently.
My oldest daughter (
who is far too much like me) had some hard questions for me, asking about "M" & "E" by name.
Heather had talked to her about everything in the past, but she had never come to me with questions before, she in fact seemed like she did Not want to discuss it. We have never sugar coated anything & always told it to her like it was, so I told her honest answers to everything she asked. I told her because she was young there are going to be some things you just can't understand yet. Her main concern seemed to be that Heather & I were stable, I told her that we couldn't do this if we were not.
She asked if/when we planned to tell our younger kids, I told her we did not plan to unless something got real serious, as far as they would know it would be the same as several other close family friends we have.
She even asked if we can do more family oriented things with "the new one". M was always kinda uncomfortable around the kids, we did family things, but M never wanted to get too close I think.
She asked what if she had her own kids already, I told her we would jump off that bridge if we got to it. She also said we are weird lol.
I was rather proud of her, always telling her the truth has jaded her, but it's made her smart & open minded, as well & given her my gift to see things unseen. (
sorry ego trip there)
In other news...
"M" randomly asked to come over & play games (
Xbox) with us, something she use to do with us. I was surprised & still can not understand why. I called Heather & asked if she could handle it, she said yes so she came over. It felt good to have her over, friendly, kinda warm & fuzzy. But I could see how hurt Heather was & I knew she wanted her back too. It didn't last long, it was nice, but I could tell it was a hard visit for Heather, M tried to reach out to her a little, but Heather kept her a fair distance away.
Then "E" came to visit a day or two later.. It didn't happen the way I expected AT ALL.
I made a couple of discoveries about myself...
1. I am shallow - I knew I would not be attracted to her. I mean she is cute, but, yea...
2. I am a slut - I could attach to almost any woman, just that easily. she would just have to say a few of those right things & pet me & I'd prolly cave in.
3. . 1 & 2 could easily make me a bad person.
She drove a long way to get here so she was tired, we really expected her to end up on the couch, but she ended up in bed between us, I was ok to let her sleep there, cuz we didn't plan to do anything on the first night at all, but I looked over at Heather & knew then she wan not gonna fit. I knew Heather was just thinking about M & trying not to cry. There was a bit more to it, but I'm not gonna post anything about that, because its not mine to say...
I had told Heather before she got here I thought she was gonna want more than we wanted to give on the first night, but she was sure that wasn't the case...
Heather talked to her the next day & told her what she told me in not so many words "she was not the one" but I already knew that. Not that she's not cool, caring & nice, she can be an awesome friend, but that's prolly all.
Heather says I lead people on...
And I can see that, I flirt by nature, it's always been a fun thing to do, but more than that it's become part of my normal routine, the cute things I say & do are just normal to say to Heather. Just like after spanking Heathers booty (lol) every time she bends over, when someone bends over at work or something, the instinct is to slap the booty lol.
But all of that could prolly fall under #2 up there... I'm a slut.
But anyway... So the next day a friend returned to work after being away a while, So I took her out to dinner after work, you know, just a welcome back kinda thing, (
not that I didn't think about her in that way, but there are too many reasons to not even attempt it with her, so we will not even assign her a letter) & the next day at work everyone knows about it, M asked about it, C asked about it (the girl we took out for a drink after M left) & a lady that's not even my friend asked about it, after asking for a hug! All of a sudden everyone cares what I did last night & who I was with, wtf? It was kinda creepy.
on a side note C has turned out to be a good friend, she actually asks us to do stuff instead of us asking her, that's kinda neat...(So even though we assigned her no letter in the previous post we will assign her C now)
Then M asks to come over again tonight, it was a much easier visit, for everyone, but I was again surprised she asked to come over. We played some pinball, & wasted some time. Obviously a friends kinda thing, but that's what we wanted, we wanted to still be friends if it ever ended.
Then Heather & I enjoyed the rest of the night, ate, played games & now I'm sitting here at 6 am wondering why I'm not asleep, while Heather is behind me trying to
not wake up lol
Thinking about asking C out to dinner with us tonight, depends on the shape of the universe tonight...
& That's all that happened in the last week or so I think... I feel like were slowly working our way through the alphabet here
I can't believe I just confessed to half of that...