NRE ran away with me

Dustytx

Member
So I've made some bad decisions lately that were unkind to hubby (T). T's being upset with me upset (B) as he felt he influenced my actions. In truth he did but I was the one who made selfish decisions. It wasn't like he said "Hey, do these things with me & who cares how T feels." T & I have worked things out but B was acting strangely. T & B are becoming friends & genuinely like each other so B has no intention of causing hurt to him or conflict between T & I.

B & I talked last night & he explained to me why he had been distant/weird a few times in the last few days. I explained to B that I don't want to lose what I have in either relationship. He assured me that if things are good between T & I vs me not considering T's feelings then B & my relationship will fall into line. At any rate, I have decided to put T's needs over my wants. I have some internal conflict with this as my nature is to be selfish. I'm an extremely giving, caring person but I'm also selfish which are two sides of my personality that conflict.

Loving someone to me means being kind & considerate. I made mistakes but I owned them with no excuses. Now I just have to get everything back into balance & regain my zen.

I guess I'm not really looking for advice here I just wanted to vent to people who might understand.
 
Loving someone to me means being kind & considerate. I made mistakes but I owned them with no excuses. Now I just have to get everything back into balance & regain my zen.

This really hit home with me. Wishing you good luck!
 
I've had NRE run away with me before too so I know how you feel. Glad to hear things are improving.
 
Well things got interesting this past week. 3 weeks ago it was planned between the 4 of us that I would stay with B at the camper we all now share for 2 nights. He was there doing some improvements to the property & I had a function to attend nearby today. After the events of last week I had decided to spend only one night but when T found out what time I needed to leave for the function this morning he agreed I would be better off going a day earlier as originally planned.

B & I tend to have deep conversations when we have alone time. The past 2 days were no exception. You see, I know he loves me & says I am his closest friend. I also love him & while I identify as poly he has always considered himself a swinger who has figured out during our time together that he prefers poly. Neither of us imagined our relationship would develop like it has, we thought it would be much more casual but you know, you can't help how you feel. B said the thought that keeps running through his mind is that he would like to settle down with his wife & I as his only sexual partners. He said, "I'm not a monogamous person but I've been thinking I want to be monogamous with you & my wife." I believe he was thinking more of a closed relationship as he is extremely content currently wheras previously he felt something lacking in his life. I was thrilled that he confessed this to me. Knowing he's a swinger & is honest with me about his "play" with others it isn't something I would ask for but it is something I desire. I guess if he offers it of his own accord I will be accepting as I have been of him all along even though I struggle with jealousy at times.
 
Hi Dusty,

It would be great if you'd give your people nicknames so that we can better follow along. I'm confused who is who in your story.

Thanks :)
 
Hi Dusty,

It would be great if you'd give your people nicknames so that we can better follow along. I'm confused who is who in your story.

Thanks :)

Ok so BF will be known as Surfer, hubby as Cowboy & BF wife as Pixie :) Hopefully that will clarify
 
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