d/s couple with issues

brattysub

New member
I wasnt sure how to title this thread. please bare with me! :D

I met a wonderful guy about 7 months ago. He made it clear he wasnt looking for anything serious but he was interested in a poly d/s relationship to include but not limited to two subs for close friendship and sexual play.
I am used to being a sister sub and iv been craving a dominate so this seemed like an almost perfect arrangement. I have been in a rainbow of relationships and i feel like my very wild oats have been sown. Ideally i would like to break ground and put down roots with someone who wants to settle, who wants to build our relationship as well as explore whom might complete us.

As time has progressed hes opened up about his issues with relationships. He was married for a decade and she wrecked his life; I can appreciate how one could become jaded that way. He has also made it clear hes in love with a women he met online who is unhappily married. Hes confessed that he is waiting for her.

I can accept all this for many reasons however naive i find his decision. I try not to judge people who are finding their way.
My question is this: Iv become rather attached to him and i dont know if its healthy to put myself through falling for him. Should i go with the flow and let the chips fall where they may or should i cut my looses and direct my energy to fulfilling what i need in a relationship?
 
I think you have answered yourself there. You cannot know the future. Could base decision on what you know AT THIS TIME.

And right now?

HE WANTS:

He made it clear he wasnt looking for anything serious but he was interested in a poly d/s relationship to include but not limited to two subs for close friendship and sexual play.

He has also made it clear hes in love with a women he met online who is unhappily married. Hes confessed that he is waiting for her.

YOU WANT

i would like to break ground and put down roots with someone who wants to settle, who wants to build our relationship as well as explore whom might complete us.

Do not match. He's not the guy for this "put down roots" want.

Since at this time you are worried about your emotional health if you keep him as a friend-playmate relationship while you continue to search for the person who IS the "put down roots guy?"

Could choose to detach a bit -- be friends for now but stop the playmate part. Or chill both friendship and playmateship. To free you up to search WITHOUT worries hanging over your head.

Could touch base with him LATER to see if "friends and playmate" could come back on the table at a later point in time once you have found "put down roots" person.

Galagirl
 
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Well, this guy wants a poly relationship, so what is stopping you from finding someone who is poly friendly and wants a more serious relationship. That way you don't have to sacrifice the good thing you have going or your long term needs.

Of course, finding someone who is okay with non monogamy is vital if you don't want to sacrifice your relationship with this guy. That will lessen your dating pool. Another option is to be completely open with this guy about the fact you'll sacrifice this relationship for one that meets your long term needs if that person happens to require monogamy. If he's cool with that, enjoy what you have now. If not, consider parting amicably.
 
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