Indigomontoya
New member
So I've finally got around to this blog. Can't help but be reminiscent of Doogie Howser M.D. with the journal entries...
I guess I am poly now. Which is odd, I don't feel poly, still have all the same relationship wants and needs as mono...or maybe I am mono with a poly partner...I don't know. If I want TP, then I guess I have to want poly...or I guess I have to be mono and tolerate poly.
Sometimes I don't know if I am cut out for it. I've struggled (and overcome) a lot of my own insecurities.. Used to be jealous...still kind of am at times, still clench my jaw when I think TP is spending too much time on her damn phone to Mr. A; but I sat and joked with the guy over fish and chips and bonded over geeky video games, south park quotes, and Doctor Who. So it can't be all bad right? and I am loath to not like the guy, TP loves him and she loves me, so her judgement isn't flawed (I'd like to think) and he has been nothing but accommodating.
As for my poly experience, I've got no problem attracting the ladies (everything sounds creepier if you say ladies after it)...why wasn't it this easy in high school? damnit. problem is keeping them...or keeping them and having them accept me as a poly option...I swear I am going to have more female friends than I know what to do with...because that's what's happening...women don't want to share, Learn to share well with others! it's kindergarten rules people! having a female friend you are attracted to is like having $19.95 in the bank and looking at your ATM card...I get angry about it a lot, not down on myself, just frustrated about it...I want poly, or maybe I want a Unicorn (a unicorn is just a horse with a plunger on it's head) or valley of the dolls...gotta get me a valley of the red bikini dolls...yeah...and the clock strikes 4:30..home time.
I guess I am poly now. Which is odd, I don't feel poly, still have all the same relationship wants and needs as mono...or maybe I am mono with a poly partner...I don't know. If I want TP, then I guess I have to want poly...or I guess I have to be mono and tolerate poly.
Sometimes I don't know if I am cut out for it. I've struggled (and overcome) a lot of my own insecurities.. Used to be jealous...still kind of am at times, still clench my jaw when I think TP is spending too much time on her damn phone to Mr. A; but I sat and joked with the guy over fish and chips and bonded over geeky video games, south park quotes, and Doctor Who. So it can't be all bad right? and I am loath to not like the guy, TP loves him and she loves me, so her judgement isn't flawed (I'd like to think) and he has been nothing but accommodating.
As for my poly experience, I've got no problem attracting the ladies (everything sounds creepier if you say ladies after it)...why wasn't it this easy in high school? damnit. problem is keeping them...or keeping them and having them accept me as a poly option...I swear I am going to have more female friends than I know what to do with...because that's what's happening...women don't want to share, Learn to share well with others! it's kindergarten rules people! having a female friend you are attracted to is like having $19.95 in the bank and looking at your ATM card...I get angry about it a lot, not down on myself, just frustrated about it...I want poly, or maybe I want a Unicorn (a unicorn is just a horse with a plunger on it's head) or valley of the dolls...gotta get me a valley of the red bikini dolls...yeah...and the clock strikes 4:30..home time.
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