Dashofhope
New member
Hello,
I apologize in advance if this topic is somewhere on these forums already. I looked through quite a few pages but couldn't find anything. If there is a thread already made, please link it and I will move over to there.
A little background - I have only been in a poly relationship for about a year, and while not easy it has been very rewarding. I am currently seeing two people, my spouse of 8 years (A) and one other partner (K), of about a year. My partner, K, is currently a long distance relationship, while I live with my spouse.
I am looking for advice on a specific problem that has come up recently.
How do others handle the issue of - flirting with one partner, getting excited, but then the other partner wanting to be intimate?
For example - If K and I were sexting during the day, but I was unable to make time to finish on my end, but then A initated intimacy that same day.
Do I simply tell A that K and I started something and it would not be right to transfer that energy from one person to another?
What if one partner wanted to build up the anticipation for a day or so before being intimate? How should that information be relayed? 'Hey K and I are doing a Thing over the next couple/few days, so we can't have any sex?'
That doesn't seem overly fair to the outside party.
I look forward to hearing from any of you as this issue has been weighing me down recently.
I apologize in advance if this topic is somewhere on these forums already. I looked through quite a few pages but couldn't find anything. If there is a thread already made, please link it and I will move over to there.
A little background - I have only been in a poly relationship for about a year, and while not easy it has been very rewarding. I am currently seeing two people, my spouse of 8 years (A) and one other partner (K), of about a year. My partner, K, is currently a long distance relationship, while I live with my spouse.
I am looking for advice on a specific problem that has come up recently.
How do others handle the issue of - flirting with one partner, getting excited, but then the other partner wanting to be intimate?
For example - If K and I were sexting during the day, but I was unable to make time to finish on my end, but then A initated intimacy that same day.
Do I simply tell A that K and I started something and it would not be right to transfer that energy from one person to another?
What if one partner wanted to build up the anticipation for a day or so before being intimate? How should that information be relayed? 'Hey K and I are doing a Thing over the next couple/few days, so we can't have any sex?'
That doesn't seem overly fair to the outside party.
I look forward to hearing from any of you as this issue has been weighing me down recently.