Redpepper's journey

MRAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Sounds HOT, HOT, HOT!!!

Glad you had a good time & got some of that catharsis. :)
 
Oh, Redpepper, I am so thrilled for you!

And how beautiful, to be able to express your inner journey in that outward way. I hope your audience sensed what a gift they received. Of course most of them wouldn't have any way of knowing, but still somehow the inner self shines through.

I grok that performer's "moment," too. I've never performed burlesque, but I have done lots of theatre and vaudeville, and I've come to know that moment pretty well. Yum.

Oh, my dear Red, I am just so SO delighted for you.

*stands, cheers*
BRAVA! BRAVA!
 
We are becoming more and more merged, the longer Mono lives here. We all are together far more than I imagined. I am enjoying what is being created and feel more love than ever for my lovely men.

It has been bizarre since Mono moved in, due to unforeseen circumstances. All three of us on the top floor have been sick and taken almost a week off, then my burlesque show and Halloween. I am STILL waiting for a routine to settle in. I'm tired of this upheaval.

Last night was my Mono night. I had two sick boys to put to bed first and double to do that I usually do. Tonight is no different, although it's a holiday tomorrow (Remembrance Day) and I have a four day weekend. So fuck it. :p

I got some laundry on and cleaned Pistachio's cage and play area (guinea pig), so I think that is an accomplishment. I also did a $450 shop today. I've been REALLY neglectful on basics. I bought a few clothes and Christmas presents too. I always shop for my parents and Mono and co-workers too, so some of that wasn't mine. I tried to find Derby a coat, but to no avail. I will keep looking.

I could hear the doors of the wood stove open and shut and was so excited last night. I rushed through my routines as fast as I could, left a throw up bucket, a cell phone, glass of water, acetaminophen and tissues by PN's bed, gave both boys instructions to bang on the floor if they needed me and headed downstairs leaving the smell of sickness in the house and two sleeping boys to be with Mono.

He had the moon chair up to the fire. For our supper, I cut cheese, put my homemade chutney in a bowl and put crackers out with a bottle of wine. We sat all snuggly in the chair and talked, joked, teased and kissed for hours. Until those things led to hours of other things. ;)

What a perfect night. For the first time, I was not across the city, away from my child and not knowing what was going on. Only a month ago, I would not have left, even if PN argued with me that he was okay. Last night I had faith that I was only a floor away and could hear every move they made on the floor if they got up. I teared up about it and was so relieved. Such a simple thing made so much better.
 
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Today Mono made coffee for us when we got home. PN was still on the couch and LB was spending that afternoon with his granny. We chatted and discussed some things, told stories. Mono showed PN the cover he is getting for his bike. We watched the birds in the feeder. The cats came and did cat things all over us, as they do. Pistachio wheeked away in his play area. The sun streamed through and all was right in my world.

After coffee, Mono went down to see about covering his bike after a ride. When he heard me start the car to go get LB, he came around the front and asked if he could come along. Granny welcomed him as she would any family member and so did Grampa. On the way home Mono said he was going to the Remembrance Day service tomorrow. I suggested he go with my dad, as he had asked me to go, but I don't think I will. Mono called him when he got home and they arranged to go.

Mono and I are going up to the island cabin next weekend. This is a HUGE step. (See the link on our coming out that is indicated in previous posts.) My parents asked PN and me to sign the cabin over to them when we came out as poly. The threat of Mono going there with me was too much. We were heartbroken. We are going there with them and LB next week for an overnight for the first time. We are all going for Christmas too. Things are coming along.:)
 
I'm glad things are working out for you. You're lucky to be close to your parents, too. See, a child can teach their parents, as well.

Have a good time at the cabin!
 
Wow, RP, thanks for writing out your burlesque experience and routine. How fun! Good for you.

Every December in Cambridge here there's a show called Slutcracker, a burlesque treatment of Nutcracker set to the full score. It's just a hoot! (Hint: the nutcracker toy is a big purple dildo, and it just gets worse from there.)

I'm also so happy you had a nice night of cuddling and sexing Mono while your son and PN rested as comfortably as they could just upstairs. That was a nice break for the caretaker/mom. We get so overwhelmed doing for others. It's great you had some emotional and sexual refreshment a floor down from all the vomit. LOL
 
Slutcracker! That's awesome. I love it. I wonder if anyone put a video online. Will have to check.

That night of lovin broke my vagina. :( It needs some respite. Sometimes I don't take enough care of that poor ol' thing. *sigh*

Note to self: lube. II will like that. :D

Seriously though, sometimes it feels too good to stop. Then I pay afterwards. Now it's broken and Mono and I are off on holiday (by the ocean) this weekend to a hotel in a nearby town. It will have to rest until then, something that is just impossible for us. We are once-a-dayers for penetration. I guess it will have to build. Nothing wrong with that. I just hope the old girl is ready to be destroyed again.

I will go and buy a large lube bottle today, and some yeast infection cream. Antibiotics didn't help my condition. I will wait it out and see what happens. No need to medicate if I don't need to. I am not big on medication at the best of times.

This is a rather personal post! Geesh, well, now you know what is under our day-to-day. :p
 
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I've been taking probiotics, but can't take much yet until the antibiotics are done. A few more days, then I intend to use double the dose of probiotics.

Thanks for the link!
 
The Slutcracker looks like awesome fun. Maybe a road trip to save towards for next year, RP. :D
 
Slutcracker! That's awesome. I love it. I wonder if anyone put a video online. Will have to check.

That night of lovin' broke my vagina. :( It needs some respite. Sometimes I don't take enough care of that poor ol thing. *sigh*

Note to self: lube. II will like that. :D
I think I need some eye lube after reading that post! :eek:
 
So, a bit of a red flag yesterday for me...

LB asked, as we walked home from having tea with my parents, "Are you going downstairs tonight, Mumma?"

I said no.

"But you live down there now, right?"

Mono and PN were alerted by this and stopped their conversation. I replied to him, "No, I live in the whole house, not just the top anymore."

I explained that he could come and see me down there if he wanted, and that he could call just as he calls Mono to see if he can visit. I have called him too.

It broke my heart a little bit as I have feared that having my own room down there would make him feel separate. It has concerned me that I would not be as present and I have wondered if I am perceived as not being as present.

Maybe it's time to re-think a door and create some boundaries as to when I am down there and when I am up here, so that he can rely on knowing when and can have more structure. He didn't seem fazed by his observation. He hasn't been needy at all, probably because we have spent a lot of time together due to illnesses. But I am concerned and want to get onto this right away.

I think I will start by talking to him about it and getting a sense of how he is feeling in regards to the changes. He has said before that he is happy, and certainly comes across as such. But maybe there is more there that he is feeling and is not sure how to express it.

I had a talk with him the other day about what poly is. He asked me why we keep talking about it and why I write on here. I told him that a lot of people love just one person but that Mumma loves Mono as much as she loves PN. I told him that a lot of people don't think that is right and will judge me for that, and his dad and Mono and him too, maybe. I said that I am the boss of me and that I get to decide what is right for my life, no one else, but that doesn't mean that I don't care what people think. I told him that he could tell me if anyone ever had anything to say about Mono and us all being together and that we could talk about it any time, if he wants to.

He got bored at that point and thought it far more interesting to use the cat as a pillow. The cat preferred that too, so I stopped talking. :rolleyes:
 
I know LB is a thoughtful little guy, and my guess is that he is, in his own time, trying to sort out the changes in your house. I don't think you need to worry too much because the fact that he ASKED you is awesome. Does he spend time with you in your room at all? When you say he can call you, do you mean on the phone? It'd be a cool idea maybe if he thought he had a special Mommy-hotline, heh. Knowing he has you when and if he needs you is probably mostly what he's concerned about, as well as making sure he's not going to lose anyone else important in his family due to the shuffle.

I think you're an awesome parent, and he's a lucky kiddo. *hugs*
 
You know what? Walkie talkies are a great idea! Hmm...

Yes, I meant the phone. But he has to ask his Dad to use his, as we don't have a land line. I have called him to come down and snuggle with me in bed, but he was more interested in Lego at that point.

I think I will start making Mumma/LB dates to do this, though. We can have "computer lab" in bed, and "reading lab," as we call them. That way the house may start feeling whole to him. After all, the downstairs has always out of bounds for him and there have been rules to not interrupt down there. He is still on the old rules. Now we have to set boundaries instead.

Hmm... thinking now. OK, getting on it.

Thanks for the support and help. I really appreciate it!
 
Had a nice evening with the boy last night. I showed him how if you stand in our bathroom upstairs you can talk to me in my room below. Heh, poor tenants. The things they must have heard!

We laid in bed and talked and watched science shows on line. LB loved it! I told him that he can come down and see me if he wants, that I am not busy, that the whole house is open to him to be in now, when Dave and I say it's okay for him to come down. We talked about a door one day and that maybe we should get walkie talkies. Maybe borrow some from Granddad.

LB is good, I think. He had a really good time and told me all kinds of stories about his life and people in it. We had a really good catch up. :)

PN and I went to a movie last night. It occurs to me that I don't write much about our time together, mostly as he doesn't write here, so I know he doesn't see it. That doesn't mean we don't have time together and connect, though.

I am really enjoying that he is writing on my FB group for "poly peeps all over." We have had some discussion there and I have been encouraging him to participate, as he is a wise man, but not that interested in sharing his wisdom. (Drives me crazy;)) Only to himself right now. He has a website coming that he has been writing for a good year. It has taken up all his time. He has some brilliant writing coming on relationships. I will be sure to note the link when he has it live.
 
I think I just realized something. I prefer and enjoy sex that "expands love" as well as connects and deepens relationships. Just adding to my description, as I just read about the idea.
 
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