Oh OK... I never really considered a DADT relationship a poly relationship, because it's based on deception and poly relationships are open and honest. So I guess I just want more openness.
Yes, DADT, if mutual, is acceptable in poly. It's not that your partner doesn't know you have other relationships or didn't consent to that and you're sneaking around; it's that you both agreed to keep your other relationships under the radar.
But in my case he doesn't want to know when I'm meeting him and I basically have to think of ulterior reasons to leave the house. He doesn't even want to know that they exist. So that's why I feel like it's deception.
Let your partner deal with whatever emotion they feel as a result. This is the policy you have both agreed to, you can hold up your end of not telling too much by just invoking DADT.
Then it's on your partner to back off and not ask deeper and do their own emotional management.
GG
My husband had 3 rules, it cannot be anyone he knows, that I always use protection and to never tell him about it. Basically act like there is nothing wrong.
I have no idea is this is considered poly or not. But that is my situation.
I did finally have casual sex with a hookup I had. We had sex 2 times. I was hoping that it would last more but I don't think it will. ...
This guy I knew through a friend and so I knew he was not a psycho. He is very free spirited and hippie like so he doesn't want any strings or expectations. ...
I did get a little attached but it was due to me finally having sex after a year... I wanted to do it all the time now. I was not falling for him, he was not romantic it was just sex.
Just a small little thing to be aware of; asexuality is an identity, like gay or lesbian. Its not something one turns into. Just adding that as an educational piece.
I have no idea is this is considered poly or not. But that is my situation.
That's awesome. Good for you. I take offense that you say I'm policing. I thought perhaps it would of been of interest to the writer. I am only passing on what I've heard from people I know in the asexual community. What do I know, I'm not asexual. You can take it up with them as I am no expert.So while we're educating...
Identities can and do change. I identify as asexual at times, other times as sexual. It's not that sometimes I'm just not in the mood so I'm like "I'm asexual today." I lose all interest in sex for extended periods of time, sometimes years. That includes masturbating, watching porn, and getting kinky. During those periods, I identify as asexual. So to me, your statement comes across as the Sexuality Police telling me how I may and may not identify, and I take exception to that.
To say that one's identity cannot change is to assume that sexuality is hard-wired, a claim that is not well-established. For some, it may be the case, for others, not. Personally, I'm inclined to take the viewpoint that a person may identify however they want based on how they are feeling at that point in their lives, and that a person's own feelings and inclinations override the accepted viewpoint of a bunch of biased psychologists who do not live inside my head.