doglover0217
New member
Hello everyone!
I've posted quite a few times seeking advice on a moving out of a toxic situation. A short summary is that I found myself in a relationship that was built on the idea of polyamory and openness, but for a variety of reasons (namely control issues), I wasn't able to seek other romantic partners or connections.
I moved out, we have stayed together and been working our issues, and most importantly I've found that I have felt more like my true self and I now have the space to look for other things! Additionally, I'm stronger and can see more clearly how I deserve (and don't deserve) to be treated. It's going to be a very long road for us, but for now we're trying it.
In other words, Red and I have stayed together, and he still lives with Blue (they are married). Moving out was absolutely the best decision I could have made.
My question for everyone here is if they have any words of advice on advocating for myself and having the conversation about me starting to date other people and actually (for the first real time) practice polyamory. I'm planning to sit down with Red this week and I need to go in with a strong game plan. Basically, what I want to say is that seeing other people is something I really want, and that if he isn't OK with it then we can discuss but it's still something I plan on doing. (I'm entirely too fed up with the double standard and he needs to learn to deal with it).
Is that too course or rigid of an approach to take? Does anyone have any words of wisdom? While I'm not planning on going on like 1000 dates, I'm anxious to have the convo because there is a person I want to go out with but I can't in good conscience until I let Red know.
Side note, Red is currently not dating other people (though he is married, so IMO that counts), and I think he will react negatively and automatically jump to the conclusion that I'm trying to replace him or drive him further away.
I've posted quite a few times seeking advice on a moving out of a toxic situation. A short summary is that I found myself in a relationship that was built on the idea of polyamory and openness, but for a variety of reasons (namely control issues), I wasn't able to seek other romantic partners or connections.
I moved out, we have stayed together and been working our issues, and most importantly I've found that I have felt more like my true self and I now have the space to look for other things! Additionally, I'm stronger and can see more clearly how I deserve (and don't deserve) to be treated. It's going to be a very long road for us, but for now we're trying it.
In other words, Red and I have stayed together, and he still lives with Blue (they are married). Moving out was absolutely the best decision I could have made.
My question for everyone here is if they have any words of advice on advocating for myself and having the conversation about me starting to date other people and actually (for the first real time) practice polyamory. I'm planning to sit down with Red this week and I need to go in with a strong game plan. Basically, what I want to say is that seeing other people is something I really want, and that if he isn't OK with it then we can discuss but it's still something I plan on doing. (I'm entirely too fed up with the double standard and he needs to learn to deal with it).
Is that too course or rigid of an approach to take? Does anyone have any words of wisdom? While I'm not planning on going on like 1000 dates, I'm anxious to have the convo because there is a person I want to go out with but I can't in good conscience until I let Red know.
Side note, Red is currently not dating other people (though he is married, so IMO that counts), and I think he will react negatively and automatically jump to the conclusion that I'm trying to replace him or drive him further away.