Polyamory in television shows

the self-identified insecure alpha male

Which is almost an oxymoron.

I'm puzzled as to why so many women find such men attractive.

I'm not sure why you are puzzled. Confident people are attractive. Alpha males by their vary nature have some degree of confidence. I am only attracted to people with confidence.

Barring their differing communication styles of course. You can be an alpha male and not be a giant douche.
 
Which is almost an oxymoron.



I'm not sure why you are puzzled. Confident people are attractive. Alpha males by their vary nature have some degree of confidence. I am only attracted to people with confidence.

Barring their differing communication styles of course. You can be an alpha male and not be a giant douche.

That's the puzzle. Jerome called himself an "alpha male", but he also said he would feel "insecure" if he allowed his "submissive women" to date other men. It appears that neither the alpha male nor the submissive women have much self-confidence.

Maybe that's it. Alpha males and submissive women are attracted to each other because they feel comfortable with their common lack of confidence.

Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together. Insecurity attracts insecurity.
 
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That's the puzzle. Jerome called himself an "alpha male", but he also said he would feel "insecure" if he allowed his "submissive women" to date other men. It appears that neither the alpha male nor the submissive women have much self-confidence.

That is definitely backwards.

It actually sounds like what he is talking about being a beta male in reality, knowing this and locking his tribe onto himself. By doing this he eliminates the actual alpha males due to a lack of choice "his" women have. He is alpha in his group, but really he isn't. This will come to bite him in his butt in the end I imagine :)

In one of the links I posted he does respond to questions like this. Apparently he really got ripped into by the poly community for his narrow minded view of poly. Look under comments on the poly perc site I think
 
That is definitely backwards.

It actually sounds like what he is talking about being a beta male in reality, knowing this and locking his tribe onto himself. By doing this he eliminates the actual alpha males due to a lack of choice "his" women have. He is alpha in his group, but really he isn't. This will come to bite him in his butt in the end I imagine :)

In one of the links I posted he does respond to questions like this. Apparently he really got ripped into by the poly community for his narrow minded view of poly. Look under comments on the poly perc site I think

Yeah, it sounds like they made their agreements around insecurities instead of love. If it works, good luck to them. I think it's a maladaptive way to go about relationships.
 
Maybe that's it. Alpha males and submissive women are attracted to each other because they feel comfortable with their common lack of confidence.

Please don't generalize Alpha males...:)...as with any ranking system, any level can have their douches. I can identify with being an alpha male (bdsm play, sexually, computers etc) and I have a lot of confidence and don't believe I am an ass...I could be wrong of course :D haha.

Unless I am misreading what you are saying

Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together. Insecurity attracts insecurity.

Agreed :)

Of course the interesting part of even using alpha beta as reference points is it implies we still rely on instinct for our ranking systems. When in reality intelligence blows most of that natural selection out of the water. Put me in a computer lab, I will be alpha...stick me on a farm with some cowboys and cowgirls, I am not alpha. Confidence in your subject almost has to be the defining piece.
 
i hate doing it because I'm at work at couldn't watch the video...and guys who look like "jerome" i usually hate. However after reading the blog, jerome and several people who knew the family chimed in. It seems the negative connotations are all bbc's fault for editing certain key points.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2006/07/i-love-you-and-you-and-you.html
^ the blog again

I don't think he's the polygamist asshole everyone is making him out to be :/ besides...guys get jealous when they see a dude, with that money women. However they forget he has to deal with 3 pms'...
 
TLC - Strange Sex

I have been watching this mini series with distant interest. It isn't anything exceptional however it did have a segment on polyamoury (could tell it is canadian by the spelling) and pregnancy. It told the story or a woman, her husband and her bf, and her new baby.

It was a decent snapshot, and a positive one, on polyamory. If you can find it its worth the 15 minutes :)
 
I watched it, wasn't to bad. Thought of posting it and forgot. They do say the family is in Canada though I don't remember where.
 
Does anyone watch Private Practice?

There's a story line between Violet & Cooper - they're best friends, have been forever.

Pete & Violet are married
Cooper & Charlotte are getting married

Violet & Pete spend a LOT of time together - have keys to each others' houses, go to each other whenever they're having problems, spend a lot of time on the phone with each other.

So at the end of last night's episode -they're working out a schedule of when they can hang out that doesn't interfere with their primary relationships - they had been each other's *primary* for so long - that the adjustment was difficult.

W and I looked at each other and said "Wow! Poly on tv!" but they weren't calling it that... but it was really interesting to watch the dynamics :)
 
We watch PP. I knew there was an issue between Pete and Violet vs. Charlotte and Cooper. We got to the point where Pete and Charlotte talked.
Can't wait to see the end now! I can totally see Cooper and Violet being metamor's.
 
While I like the romantic view you have, and I don't watch the show anymore, poly doesn't make good tv...cheating does ;)
 
The Mentalist

I just watched an episode of The Mentalist where the murder victim was in an open marriage. They didn't use the word polyamory, but the victim had a husband and a boyfriend, and everything was aboveboard. I was pleased to see that when the revelation of the poly relationship was presented, it wasn't played as scandalous or immoral, it was more or less presented as one fact, analyzed as one possible motive for the crime, discussed and then discarded.
 
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I saw that episode. It's not the sort of television I usually watch (I'm mainly into non-fiction tv), and so I don't remember the lead character's name. But I do remember him questioning the husband of the murder victim to the effect [paraphrase]...:

victim's husband: "Monogamy is just a social convention".

Mentalist (?): "Yeah, like not stealing or killing people".


This bit of dialogue was, for me, very off-putting!

If it was gay folk rather than poly folk at stake, that show'd be getting serious flak. Now it's okay to compare poly folk to murderers and thieves.


===

Synopsis for
"The Mentalist" Code Red (2010)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596529/synopsis
 
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I saw that episode. It's not the sort of television I usually watch (I'm mainly into non-fiction tv), and so I don't remember the lead character's name. But I do remember him questioning the husband of the murder victim to the effect [paraphrase]...:

victim's husband: "Monogamy is just a social convention".

Mentalist (?): "Yeah, like not stealing or killing people".


This bit of dialogue was, for me, very off-putting!

If it was gay folk rather than poly folk at stake, that show'd be getting serious flak. Now it's okay to compare poly folk to murderers and thieves.


===

Synopsis for
"The Mentalist" Code Red (2010)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596529/synopsis

You're right, people compare us to whatever they want because it is considered a lifestyle choice and is not a, "hip ," thing to do, which is very very wrong.
 
interesting I might wanna try to watch that episode now...my mother watches it far more then I do so she might have seen it.
 
There was a scene in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (the sexiest Trek, IMHO), during the time when Worf has begun to court Jadzia. They have a date, and he goes to her quarters to pick her up, and when the door opens, a muscly bald guy leaves. He and Jadzia are all sweaty and she is toweling herself, and says "thanks for a great workout" to the guy who's leaving, but it was something like wrestling they were doing and the way it all came across was very sexual. She's totally unselfconscious and unapologetic and doesn't understand why Worf is jealous. I think there were a few more instances where Jadzia's "friendships" with other males come into question in that episode.

There was a species with a polyamorous culture on Star Trek: Enterprise. The Denobulan tradition is that every male has three wives, each of which has three husbands. Dr. Phlox on the Enterprise is Denobulan. I just happened to catch an episode with some delightful scenes with poly in its storyline. Dr. Phlox's wife Feezal is visiting the Enterprise while it is docked somewhere. I transcribed two fun scenes:


DR. PHLOX is in the sick bay. COMMANDER TUCKER, the chief engineer, stands at the entrance and asks if he can speak to Phlox privately. Phlox welcomes him in. Tucker enters.

TUCKER
Malcolm says this is a bad idea, but
I think it's the right thing to do.

PHLOX
What's that?

TUCKER
Feezal... I mean, Mrs. Phlox... is a
lovely woman and she's very smart.
She knows more about quantum
optics than anyone I've ever met.

PHLOX
She is remarkable.

TUCKER
Remarkable. Yeah, she sure is.

TUCKER appears bashful.

PHLOX
Was there something else?

TUCKER
(visibly uncomfortable)
There is. You've got to understand,
I've been the perfect gentleman.
Absolutely nothing's happened.
She's trying to... she's... she's um,
making advances, if you know what
I mean.

PHLOX
Sexual advances?

TUCKER
I'm afraid so.

PHLOX
(grins widely)
Has she offered to give you a rose
petal bath?

TUCKER
No, no, nothing like that.

PHLOX
Oh, any man would be a fool to
ignore the romantic overtures of a
healthy Denobulan woman. Haha!

Tucker hangs his head.

PHLOX
(perplexed)
Don't you find her attractive?

TUCKER
Sure! I mean, no, she's your wife!

PHLOX
(shrugs)
What does that have to do with it?

TUCKER
She's your wife?

PHLOX
Oh nonsense! Nonsense! You're
too concerned about human
morality. I thought you wanted to
learn about new cultures. Isn't that
why you joined Starfleet?

TUCKER
Of course it is, but I was brought
up believing you don't play around
with another man's wife - and I
don't think I'm ever gonna change
my mind about that.

PHLOX
Your loss.

Phlox shrugs and walks away.

-----------------
SICK BAY - LATER
Phlox and Tucker stand together, looking at a microscope, and make adjustments to some of its dials. The door opens. FEEZAL, Dr. Phlox's wife, enters. Phlox's eyes light up.

PHLOX
(to Feezal)
My beloved.

Feezal and Phlox bring their faces close together and inhale each other deeply (a Denobulan kiss). Tucker squirms, looks away.

PHLOX
I certainly hope it's not another
four years until I see you again.

FEEZAL
So do I. Now, remember, your other
wives are anxious to see you, too.

PHLOX
Commander Tucker assures me
he'll keep your beautiful microscope
in perfect running order.

FEEZAL
As his doctor, I hope you'll keep
Commander Tucker in perfect
running order.
(looks at TUCKER
flirtatiously)
Perhaps that would motivate me
to visit more often.

Tucker looks like a trapped animal that wants to run away.

PHLOX
(to Tucker)
It's a shame you two didn't... get
to know each other better.

TUCKER
(to Phlox)
I've got to get back to my warp
engine. The plasma's running a
little hot.

Feezal takes a step closer to Tucker, looks up at him.

FEEZAL
I know how it feels.

She smiles at Tucker coquettishly. Phlox, on Tucker's other side, grins at his wife proudly.

TUCKER
(to Feezal)
Uh... pleasure meeting you.

He quickly exits sick bay. Feezal stands next to Phlox. They watch Tucker leave.

PHLOX
Humans!

They both giggle.

--------------------


Of course, there's also Londo Mollari from Babylon 5, who was def poly! From Wikipedia:

"His relationship with women is complex, having to manage his three wives and a mistress (Adira). When Londo is granted the favor of a divorce from two of his wives as a gift from the Emperor, two of the wives, Daggair and Mariel, battle for supremacy in the group, each trying to convince Londo that she loves him best so that she won't lose the status the marriage gives her. The third wife, Timov, refuses to play along, making her disdain for Londo well-known. However, when Londo is poisoned, ostensibly by Mariel, it is Timov who secretly saves his life by providing him with a blood transfusion. In spite of not knowing this, Londo chooses to remain married to Timov: "Because, with you, my dear, I will always know exactly where I stand." This, along with his relationship with the beautiful Adira, make for a man that accepts the truth over beautiful lies and who respects the women he loves and who love him truly."
 
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^Thanks for reminding me of those great poly examples from Star Trek and Babylon 5.
The Denobulans were definitely one of the best examples of poly in any science fiction. Too bad they dug into it for only one episode, really.
I seem to recall another episode of ST Enterprise where they met a three-gendered species....and it required all three to procreate. I dunno if that's fully poly or not...guess "trinogamy" is more apropos. ;)
 
Pretty much any decent science fiction will have a dose of poly in it. Much of it more than a dose. My personal favorites are, of course, the Heinlein books--- The Moon is a Harsh Mistress should be required reading for all newcomers to poly.

I'm also a big fan of Farscape, and Season 3 when Aeryn has to choose between two clones of Creighton really rings the poly-agony bells. More recently, Caprica depicted a poly family as being the most normal thing in the world and didn't even bat a critical eye. They just introduced the character, and her husband, her other husband, her third husband, and all their wives, as if it was all perfectly normal, which in their society, it apparently was.

There's a lot of crossover between poly and SF. Want to find a poly couple to date? Go to an SF con.
 
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