Norwegianpoly
New member
I really want to help my boyfriend. For a couple of months, he has struggled with what seems to me like a mental breakdown or a depressive reaction. I can see a change, he himself says that "of course I don't want to be this way. I feel like I have lost myself", his brother visited and left today and made complaints about my boyfriend's mood/state of mind. He struggles with sadness, agressive outbursts, numbness and emotional distance.
Clearly his job has something to do with this. He has worked there for a long time, but the job is becoming physically harder to do and he transitioned to a middle-manager position where he ended up getting all the responsability/ scolding and none of the freedom/praise. Also he works every day in season which gets very draining -everyone at his job is tired now, but I think there is more to it. He plans to not take much holiay which I don't think is wise - at the same time he does have bills to pay and I am not sure that I can afford to do that for him.
The challenges are that I live far away and it is hard to help him. He is often tired, and when he is not, he is not always willing to talk. When I visit, I am starting to get affected by him - I simply feel rejected a lot of the time because he comes off as distant. I would really want him to get a physical and mental check up by his doctor (or rather the hospital - I don't think he has a regular doctor), but of course I can't make him do it. I will however visit him soon.
Our plans after his season is for him to have a tiny vacation with me, then work and study, then move to my country for a while to work and learn my language. I worry that if we don't adress his issue now, it may be larger in the future when all these changes will happen.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me?
Clearly his job has something to do with this. He has worked there for a long time, but the job is becoming physically harder to do and he transitioned to a middle-manager position where he ended up getting all the responsability/ scolding and none of the freedom/praise. Also he works every day in season which gets very draining -everyone at his job is tired now, but I think there is more to it. He plans to not take much holiay which I don't think is wise - at the same time he does have bills to pay and I am not sure that I can afford to do that for him.
The challenges are that I live far away and it is hard to help him. He is often tired, and when he is not, he is not always willing to talk. When I visit, I am starting to get affected by him - I simply feel rejected a lot of the time because he comes off as distant. I would really want him to get a physical and mental check up by his doctor (or rather the hospital - I don't think he has a regular doctor), but of course I can't make him do it. I will however visit him soon.
Our plans after his season is for him to have a tiny vacation with me, then work and study, then move to my country for a while to work and learn my language. I worry that if we don't adress his issue now, it may be larger in the future when all these changes will happen.
Does anyone have any suggestions for me?