Having the strength to do what’s right

RP, I feel like in a lot of the ways we are similar in how we work. I just want to give you a big huge internet ((HUG)). Mono, too. :) Both of your posts are always so insightful and I relate very well to both aspects. I hope that eventually our dynamic can get close to what you have. But for now, I'd be content with just having that acceptance. :)
 
I find myself reading this post again. I'm looking for answers internally, but have already answered the same questions. I did it in black and white. What will be the measure of who I am, based on what l've learned? Will it be doing as l have always said l would, based on who l was? Or will l go back on my definitives and allow myself to change? And if so, what truly are my motives? Is it to obtain something I want, or to paint a pretty picture of the thoughts I've had? Is it a lame attempt to somehow make myself out to be more noble than I am? Or is it because maybe l have changed and have to own up to it?

Now I must figure out the cost of losing integrity at least one more time. Perhaps it is time for some more black and white admittance to myself about what I can offer the people in my life, on what level they are safe and what levels to avoid. The work continues.
 
The work always continues for all of us, it's just a part of life. I hope you find your answers.
 
The last post. Oh, how I wish I had understood what this post meant back then. 3 years later, the deception was revealed and the damage done. It's sad and painful to think of this time. I miss him terribly, in this moment. Two souls are lost to each other now, and for what? *head shake* I just don't get it. :(
 
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