Hello everyone,
I'm new to the forums, and have been involved in the poly lifestyle for the past year.
I'm a married woman who is also seeing another man, a Dom (as his submissive) for the past six months. My husband is currently not seeing anyone at the moment. Generally (apart from a few hiccups) things have been going well.
My husband has recently met someone he would like to start seeing which is great, but I have some concerns and wanted to get some feedback.
The woman he's met is someone he works with in the same department. She's also married and not in a poly arrangement. Basically, if he were to start seeing her, she would be having an affair on her husband.
I'm at a crossroads here. On the one hand, it's her business as to whether or not she chooses to have an affair.
On the other, I fully believe in the ethos of poly as being open and honest from all partners, and I feel really uncomfortable being privy to a dynamic that may involve cheating, even if it's only by-proxy. I want to support my partner and his choice in partners, though had hoped he would have met someone who is open to poly, or is involved in poly. I have other concerns, mostly for her safety knowing she comes from a very conservative background (that unfortunately also has high rates of domestic violence), as well as the impact her affair could have on her child.
I certainly don't want to come across to my husband as being unsupportive now that he's met someone he'd like to get involved with, nor am I wanting to be hostile or critical of this woman as I'm sure she has her own reasons and challenges with her marriage and an affair seems appealing.
I just don't really know how to support him in this situation, and ethically I just feel like this isn't poly.
Any advice, experience, feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you,
-S
I'm new to the forums, and have been involved in the poly lifestyle for the past year.
I'm a married woman who is also seeing another man, a Dom (as his submissive) for the past six months. My husband is currently not seeing anyone at the moment. Generally (apart from a few hiccups) things have been going well.
My husband has recently met someone he would like to start seeing which is great, but I have some concerns and wanted to get some feedback.
The woman he's met is someone he works with in the same department. She's also married and not in a poly arrangement. Basically, if he were to start seeing her, she would be having an affair on her husband.
I'm at a crossroads here. On the one hand, it's her business as to whether or not she chooses to have an affair.
On the other, I fully believe in the ethos of poly as being open and honest from all partners, and I feel really uncomfortable being privy to a dynamic that may involve cheating, even if it's only by-proxy. I want to support my partner and his choice in partners, though had hoped he would have met someone who is open to poly, or is involved in poly. I have other concerns, mostly for her safety knowing she comes from a very conservative background (that unfortunately also has high rates of domestic violence), as well as the impact her affair could have on her child.
I certainly don't want to come across to my husband as being unsupportive now that he's met someone he'd like to get involved with, nor am I wanting to be hostile or critical of this woman as I'm sure she has her own reasons and challenges with her marriage and an affair seems appealing.
I just don't really know how to support him in this situation, and ethically I just feel like this isn't poly.
Any advice, experience, feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you,
-S