I am so lost right now. For the past year and a half, I've been in a quad with hubby and another couple. I've always been the one who wears her heart on her sleeve and isn't afraid to express love and affection. We decided to close it between us to try out my idea of a quad... See about it being an actual relationship between the four of us. My girlfriend has an analogy that I feel is perfect...
We're all reading the same book. Hubby is in the table of contents.. Interested in what it has to offer.... Her hubby is in chapter 7, she is in chapter twelve... And I read through the entire thing quickly. She came up with this a little over a year ago... And it's accurate.
She and I say I love you to each other, but it feels more like we're best friends... And not together together. We've been intimate 3 times that I can think of.
Her hubby... My other other half... Has never been expressive about feelings... Has to make effort to text in a regular basis... But when we are alone.. The chemistry is definitely there. We have great conversations and the sex is mind blowing. He calls me on my bs and I appreciate that.
Hubby and I are in a great place. Communication is strong.
So my issue is thus...
A little over two weeks ago, hubby and I met another couple over board games at a convention. Innocent at first. They are awesome people that just moved to town and want friends, so we made friends. The husband messaged me two days later saying how happy he was that we met and that we should make plans to hang out. We originally had it set a week out but we're able to rearrange things to hang out that night. We went to their place... Played board games and had a blast. Conversations led to our poly lifestyle and they mentioned that they've dabbled a bit and that was that. He and I realized throughout the night that we have an uncanny amount in common. Even the spouses were amazed. Needless to say... We hit it off really well. The past two weeks we've hung out with this couple almost every day... In a platonic game playing sense... And the hubby and I have been talking every single day through messenger. His wife thinks that it is adorable that he and I have a "crush " on each other.
Thinking that I was the only one with more than friend feelings in our quad... I didn't think the others would be upset about my discovery. I mentioned it and now have had two very long conversations where they both told me that they thought I knew how they felt (no clue... Bc again... I'm the one who expresses) and that they were definitely not ok with this new development. We agreed to cross that bridge when we get there because new guy and I don't even have a blessing from his wife (She wants to get to know us better first).
I'm so confused and I feel like I've betrayed the other two... But I am upset because why wait for something to come up for them to express how they feel about me?! It just doesn't seem fair to me that I've been sitting here feeling like the weirdo... When they've been close to the same page as me... Just not telling me.
This new guy is even factored into the above analogy.. He's read the book too and we're gushing over how awesome it is together.
Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. If you want a little more history you can see my past posts... I've only had a few so they should be easy to find.
We're all reading the same book. Hubby is in the table of contents.. Interested in what it has to offer.... Her hubby is in chapter 7, she is in chapter twelve... And I read through the entire thing quickly. She came up with this a little over a year ago... And it's accurate.
She and I say I love you to each other, but it feels more like we're best friends... And not together together. We've been intimate 3 times that I can think of.
Her hubby... My other other half... Has never been expressive about feelings... Has to make effort to text in a regular basis... But when we are alone.. The chemistry is definitely there. We have great conversations and the sex is mind blowing. He calls me on my bs and I appreciate that.
Hubby and I are in a great place. Communication is strong.
So my issue is thus...
A little over two weeks ago, hubby and I met another couple over board games at a convention. Innocent at first. They are awesome people that just moved to town and want friends, so we made friends. The husband messaged me two days later saying how happy he was that we met and that we should make plans to hang out. We originally had it set a week out but we're able to rearrange things to hang out that night. We went to their place... Played board games and had a blast. Conversations led to our poly lifestyle and they mentioned that they've dabbled a bit and that was that. He and I realized throughout the night that we have an uncanny amount in common. Even the spouses were amazed. Needless to say... We hit it off really well. The past two weeks we've hung out with this couple almost every day... In a platonic game playing sense... And the hubby and I have been talking every single day through messenger. His wife thinks that it is adorable that he and I have a "crush " on each other.
Thinking that I was the only one with more than friend feelings in our quad... I didn't think the others would be upset about my discovery. I mentioned it and now have had two very long conversations where they both told me that they thought I knew how they felt (no clue... Bc again... I'm the one who expresses) and that they were definitely not ok with this new development. We agreed to cross that bridge when we get there because new guy and I don't even have a blessing from his wife (She wants to get to know us better first).
I'm so confused and I feel like I've betrayed the other two... But I am upset because why wait for something to come up for them to express how they feel about me?! It just doesn't seem fair to me that I've been sitting here feeling like the weirdo... When they've been close to the same page as me... Just not telling me.
This new guy is even factored into the above analogy.. He's read the book too and we're gushing over how awesome it is together.
Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. If you want a little more history you can see my past posts... I've only had a few so they should be easy to find.