Do you have a friend who disagrees with polyamory?

You're probably right, it's probably not less than 80%. Although part of that 80% is people who've never even heard of poly (but probably wouldn't like it if they did hear about it).
 
Vinsanity, I have a question. Do you think being an atheist is more offensive to your peers than being poly?

Hmmmmm... I'd say for the most part no. I mean, the last woman I dated ended up being quite offended by both.

Most of my friends and aquaintances are not particularly religious. We really don't discuss religion. When it comes to poly, most guys can't believe I would let my woman sleep with another man. I wouldn't say anyone has been actually offended by me being poly.
 
I am just curious. Did he ever give you a reason why he "cheated" on his girlfriend and ex-wife?



It seems like she may have had security issues. She probably wondered if the women you were poly with, were better than her in (intelligence, looks, sex etc). Many monogamist cite this a a justification to MORALLY oppose poly. I find it immature and ridiculous.

I never asked him. I suspect he had some sort of sex addiction. He has a very addictive personality. He also has narcissistic tendencies. His attitude was basically, "I am the man. I make the money. I can do whatever I want."

As for her, yes, there is a lot of insecurity there. She morally objects to poly, as well as sex before "marriage", on biblical grounds. Of course, this adds to her insecurity knowing I could find someone who was into sex and poly if I really wanted to.
 
Sex addiction

I never asked him. I suspect he had some sort of sex addiction. He has a very addictive personality. He also has narcissistic tendencies. His attitude was basically, "I am the man. I make the money. I can do whatever I want."
Interesting!! It must be a coincidence. I am arguing with an anti-poly on this video "Polyamorous Love Coaches- Let's Stray Together". His anti-poly buddies are religious and try to label poly sex addiction. Some monos can not get it through their skulls that poly is not swinging. BTW Not all swingers are sex addicts.
 
Do they take your relationship seriously

Hmmmmm... I'd say for the most part no. I mean, the last woman I dated ended up being quite offended by both.

Most of my friends and aquaintances are not particularly religious. We really don't discuss religion. When it comes to poly, most guys can't believe I would let my woman sleep with another man. I wouldn't say anyone has been actually offended by me being poly.
Did any of these talk you out of it? I hate to be skeptical but there is a possibility that your friends don't think you are really serious with your girlfriend? However, if you try to marry her as poly, they may have some reservations.
 
I think almost everyone I've ever known, other than strangers on the internet, wouldn't even be in any type of open relationship, especially men - I'd never tell any male friend or close work colleague that I basically allow my woman to sleep with other men or share her with another man. I'd just constantly be hassled over it.

Most men would probably openly confess to being in a FMF poly type of relationship just as a way for him to boast to all his male friends that he has two girlfriends. But almost or if any man would openly admit to sharing his girlfriend with another man.
 
WonderinGuy -

Poly folk tend overwhelmingly to eschew the model or paradigm of relationship in which a person is a piece of property, like a car or a bicycle or a couch. When we say, "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend" we don't mean to refer to a piece of personal property. Instead, we're referring to a free person with whom we are in relationship. It's a different model or paradigm. We don't believe in treating people as property, generally.
 
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WonderinGuy -

Poly folk tend overwhelmingly to eschew the model of paradigm of relationship in which a person is a piece of property, like a car or a bicycle or a couch. When we say, "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend" we don't mean to refer to a piece of personal property. Instead, we're referring to a free person with whom we are in relationship. It's a different model or paradigm. We don't believe in treating people as property, generally.
I 100% totally understand and appreciate this. I'm just from a background used to people who are overwhelmingly not poly.

I guess you could say, in today's definition, I'm surrounded by absolute and utter bigots.
 
I 100% totally understand and appreciate this. I'm just from a background used to people who are overwhelmingly not poly.

Since most of the current world is not polyamorous, you're just like us in this respect. Maybe it will change for the better in time?
 
Well, the Spartans were basically extremely Poly.
I have a feeling we have some way to go... lol

I don't know what love, sex, relationships and marriage were like in ancient Sparta, but I can tell you that few in this forum would agree that they (or any ancient peoples) were polyamorous, per se. It's important to distinguish polyamory from other forms of non-monogamy. But I'm sure others will come along here soon and elaborate, so that's as much as I'm going to say on this for now.
 
I don't know what love, sex, relationships and marriage were like in ancient Sparta, but I can tell you that few in this forum would agree that they (or any ancient peoples) were polyamorous, per se. It's important to distinguish polyamory from other forms of non-monogamy. But I'm sure others will come along here soon and elaborate, so that's as much as I'm going to say on this for now.
I read a while back that Spartan women would sleep with whoever she liked regardless. If she had a baby then (western) society or her male partner would in effect, be what it does today - financially support the upbringing of her child. Ultimately, as a society to create the greatest warriors of that time. And for a while it worked.


Anyways. Different times nowadays.
 
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These men are the real cucks

I think almost everyone I've ever known, other than strangers on the internet, wouldn't even be in any type of open relationship, especially men - I'd never tell any male friend or close work colleague that I basically allow my woman to sleep with other men or share her with another man. I'd just constantly be hassled over it.

Most men would probably openly confess to being in a FMF poly type of relationship just as a way for him to boast to all his male friends that he has two girlfriends. But almost or if any man would openly admit to sharing his girlfriend with another man.

That is an intellectual shame!! Men who pretend that not wanting to share you woman makes you more of a man are delusional. They call the poly men and swinging men who get a kick out of sharing their women cucks. I just have to laugh.
 
That is an intellectual shame!! Men who pretend that not wanting to share you woman makes you more of a man are delusional. They call the poly men and swinging men who get a kick out of sharing their women cucks. I just have to laugh.
That's the world we live in!
Its perfectly fine for a man to have two girlfriends, but its not okay for a woman to have two boyfriends - that's just soooo wrong.
No intellect required tbh, I know how you feel about it though.
 
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Did any of these talk you out of it? I hate to be skeptical but there is a possibility that your friends don't think you are really serious with your girlfriend? However, if you try to marry her as poly, they may have some reservations.

Well my wife and I were together nearly 25 years so it would be hard to argue that we weren't serious about each other. I made the mistake of telling my mom. She didn't think we were still together after that point.

The thing is I really don't care what other people think.
 
I read a while back that Spartan women would sleep with whoever she liked regardless. If she had a baby then (western) society or her male partner would in effect, be what it does today - financially support the upbringing of her child. Ultimately, as a society to create the greatest warriors of that time. And for a while it worked.


Anyways. Different times nowadays.

That is extremely unlikely. Spartan women, like all women in ancient Greece, were, ultimately, subservient to their men and the idea that women could sleep with anyone is an alien idea to such societies. Abhorrent one.

Besides, Spartans were obsessed with physical perfection and would practice a rudimentary version of eugenics. They would never agree to, for example, allowing their women to sleep with men who were deemed not fit to reproduce.

It seems there was some form of polyandry going on in Sparta, but it revolved around the aim to produce as many proper Spartan soldiers as possible. The idea was, simply put, that if a husband was not able, for whatever reason, to impregnate his wife, another dude would do it. How much say women had in the selection of the said impregnator, we cannot say exactly. They did have some say for sure because they did have many freedoms, like the freedom to divorce their husbands freely, but how much exactly remains an open question.

And in any case, not only is Sparta an exception to the rule, it's also an example of an autocratic society that treats its members horribly. Sure, women had more freedoms than their counterparts in other areas of Greece, but in all other regards, Sparta was a BRUTAL place to live in.
 
That is extremely unlikely. Spartan women, like all women in ancient Greece, were, ultimately, subservient to their men and the idea that women could sleep with anyone is an alien idea to such societies. Abhorrent one.

Besides, Spartans were obsessed with physical perfection and would practice a rudimentary version of eugenics. They would never agree to, for example, allowing their women to sleep with men who were deemed not fit to reproduce.

It seems there was some form of polyandry going on in Sparta, but it revolved around the aim to produce as many proper Spartan soldiers as possible. The idea was, simply put, that if a husband was not able, for whatever reason, to impregnate his wife, another dude would do it. How much say women had in the selection of the said impregnator, we cannot say exactly. They did have some say for sure because they did have many freedoms, like the freedom to divorce their husbands freely, but how much exactly remains an open question.

And in any case, not only is Sparta an exception to the rule, it's also an example of an autocratic society that treats its members horribly. Sure, women had more freedoms than their counterparts in other areas of Greece, but in all other regards, Sparta was a BRUTAL place to live in.

Spartan boys were taken from their mothers at a young age, 7 I think, and put into military service. They were assigned to a man who became their trainer, and their sex partner. They were regularly sexually penetrated by their mentor.

When a young man came of age, he was so used to gay sex, he was reluctant to marry a woman. After the wedding, the young wife would have her hair cut off, dress in male clothing, and lie alone in the marital bedroom. Her husband would briefly have intercourse with her until she get pregnant, then return to his male soldier/lovers. He probably already had a young boy to fuck by this time.

Not sure what the wives did while their men were away banging each other...
 
Spartan boys were taken from their mothers at a young age, 7 I think, and put into military service. They were assigned to a man who became their trainer, and their sex partner. They were regularly sexually penetrated by their mentor.

When a young man came of age, he was so used to gay sex, he was reluctant to marry a woman. After the wedding, the young wife would have her hair cut off, dress in male clothing, and lie alone in the marital bedroom. Her husband would briefly have intercourse with her until she get pregnant, then return to his male soldier/lovers. He probably already had a young boy to fuck by this time.

Not sure what the wives did while their men were away banging each other...

Yes, this is true. But not only did Spartans practice pederasty, it was a widespread practice in ancient Greece. But not sure about how it is related to polyamoury...

Womem did what women do while their men were away fucking each other and younger boys; they focused on raising children. Of course, in Sparta, this was more than just popping out babies. Women were supposed to be healthy and fit (spartan women were considered most beautiful women in whole Greece) and thus they would exercise a lot, eat healthy food in moderate quantities and focus on raising their boys and girls into proper Spartan soldiers and mothers.

Sure, some probably had extra-marital affairs, but this happens everywhere.
 
To Monos Poly=Legalized Cheating or Adultery

You're probably right, it's probably not less than 80%. Although part of that 80% is people who've never even heard of poly (but probably wouldn't like it if they did hear about it).

The bottom line is most people would be opposed to their partner having sex with someone else and would struggle on why anyone would allow it.
 
Yes, this is true. But not only did Spartans practice pederasty, it was a widespread practice in ancient Greece. But not sure about how it is related to polyamoury...

Well, Spartan men were expected to prefer male/male sex, but also expected to breed, so they were all, by default, engaging in at least sex, if not love, defined however, with more than one person, with consent.
Women did what women do while their men were away fucking each other and younger boys; they focused on raising children. Of course, in Sparta, this was more than just popping out babies. Women were supposed to be healthy and fit (spartan women were considered most beautiful women in whole Greece) and thus they would exercise a lot, eat healthy food in moderate quantities and focus on raising their boys and girls into proper Spartan soldiers and mothers.

Sure, some probably had extra-marital affairs, but this happens everywhere.

So perhaps Spartan women had sex with both other women and men other than their appointed husbands. This was probably widespread and socially acceptable, but not written about because of women's low social status.

It's appropriate to a discussion of historical situations other than lifelong sexual fidelity as common practice, male/female only.
 
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