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Old 04-14-2019, 02:32 AM
Noyse Noyse is offline
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 64
Default Poly and long term planning?

What does yours look like? At what point do you factor in 'new' partners? If you don't have a younger generation, what does your Will look like?

I'm in my mid-20s, and my right-wing kin getting a hold of my health care/finances is my worst fear. My current plan is to divide POA between my long term partners; but marriage is something I want at some point in my life.

Did anyone get married after doing poly?

Within the last 6 weeks both of my partners have begun saying 'I'd be willing to consider marriage' which is a surprise since I thought polyamory would have me bypass love triangles.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:38 AM
sunray sunray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Western Massachusetts, US
Posts: 176

Hi Noyse!

Im in my 40s and did indeed get married after embarking on poly. At the time (12 years ago) I had a long term female partner, Jester; she and I had a non-legally binding commitment ceremony for our tenth anniversary and threw a big reception. Then, a year later, I got legally married to MonkeyMan who had been my partner for about 3 years at that time, as he and I were planning to someday have kids, and I needed his health insurance.

Fast forward until the present day, MonkeyMan and I do indeed have one child together; Jester and I had an acrimonious breakup; and my partner of about 2.5 years, RacingSnail, is going to be moving in with us soon. I am planning to make RacingSnail my healthcare proxy so that both of the guys have legal rights to visit me in the hospital. And were going to put together our wills, and consolidate some of our finances, and I believe RacingSnail plans to make me the beneficiary of his pension. Not sure well ever have a commitment ceremony or a party, but as you can see, were planning for the long haul.
Me: (40/F/cis/queer/poly)
My loves:
MonkeyMan (37/M/cis/het/poly--married 11yrs)
RacingSnail (41/M/cis/het/mono--boyfriend 2 years, LDR... for the moment)
MightyCupcake (35/F/cis/bi/mono--bestest exGF, married to Dynamo)

Follow the sun at...
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:56 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 17,255

Hi Noyse,

My long-term plan looks pretty simple, I plan to continue living with my two poly companions for the rest of my life. I do not expect to take on any new partners. We have wills, living wills, and power of attorney for each other. I am not married to either of them, but we did have a commitment ceremony in 2009.

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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Old 04-16-2019, 12:26 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 2,075

I am the planner in the group and this is something that is often on my mind.

We don't have kids, so that simplifies things greatly. And my family and MrS's family are all on solid footing and able to take care of their own financial futures. Nieces and nephews are well-funded for college when the times come. No one is "counting on" and inheritance. Dude is estranged from his family since his Grandmother died - so I don't factor them in at this point.

In planning for our future: MrS is happy to have me do as I see fit in terms of insurance, savings, investments, etc. As my spouse he is on my health insurance through work and will qualify for social security and Medicare (if they still exist).

Aside from planning my retirement to support 3 people I'm not sure how much responsibility I have for the fact that Dude refuses to make any plans for the future himself. I did ask him to apply for health insurance through the Marketplace. I would like for him to get a part time job to get at least enough credits to qualify for social security and medicaid and earn enough to contribute to a Roth IRA...no interest there.

Work in progress.
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-always-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (26+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (8+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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