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Old 10-20-2017, 02:14 AM
HerbeMannABg HerbeMannABg is offline
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 7
Default Poly Vignettes Sharing Success Happiness

Thank you everyone for the responses. You all really help give me some insight.

Let me clarify one thing. Group sex is something I have an interest in too. Were both sub, weve both expressed an interest in playing out some fantasies together.

But maybe, as some of you have suggested. This isnt necessarily the way to prepare myself for her seeing someone on her own.

I also think a few of you are right in that maybe Im trying to make too many decisions for her. Shes just such an amazing girl, so unbelievably caring, and loves me so much that I fear she would do anything for me, including sacrificing her own happiness. I care about her and I care about her compromising herself for me. I fear she does it far more than she lets on. But youre still right. She is an adult and a damn smart one too, dont F with a girl with a 200 IQ, she can make her own decisions. Its not that I dont trust her exactly the opposite, rather that we all do stupid things when were in love sometimes, often to our detriment and I couldnt help but worry that as her S/O maybe its my responsibility to help her from making a mistake. But its easy for me to worry too much and its easy for me to want to control too much, so youve probably got a point. =

Thank you all
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Old 03-07-2019, 12:34 PM
prettylittleriddles prettylittleriddles is offline
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 5

Sooo this thread has been asleep for a while, but I am really feeling the need to swoon about my little poly adventure and how perfect it feels, so I feel like this is the place for me. Bear with me. If you want to read, thanks in advance!

I'm (f, bi) in a long-term primary relationship with Captain (m), we used to be non-monogamous, but scared of poly (ie lasting relationships, emotions etc). Then I met Flash (m & single) and developed a friendly & sexual affair of sorts with him, which was sometimes tricky for everyone involved and took a lot of growth to sort out.

I always felt a bit guilty being with Flash, because I could never get over the feeling of causing jealousy/pain for Captain, who I love very, very much; and I was always very wary of growing too attached - after all, 30 years of monogamous culture swirling in the back of my head saying this was all wrong/selfish/endangering my relationship. On the other hand, while I like Flash and we get along very well and enjoy each other's company, it never felt like this was a thing that could stand up on its own for a very long time. I'm not in love with him.

Soooo Flash also had an involvement with a girl we'll call Sun (f), who I also knew superficially and who I had previously found myself very attracted to. Their thing predated ours, but was on hiatus when we started, and when it started back up I felt very jealous of her (knowing how irrational it was). Sun and me saw each other regularly in a certain context, knowing about each other being with Flash, but it took us months and several drinks at a friend's party to finally talk about it - which actually went great. She also has a primary boyfriend in an open relationship, which I only learned later.

And then, one fateful, drunken, late party night somewhere, I walked in on Flash & Sun kissing. And we all looked at each other. And then I just joined in. And it was as if some magical triangle had closed.

(The only kicker is that Flash moved away from our city for work very shortly after that. But he's back occasionally.)

We have since met a handful of times, just enjoying each other's company and being intimate - really in all senses of the word, not just physical, just very close in what we talk about, how we talk about it. The sex is one thing, but for me, the kicker is how incredibly light it all feels. The three of us know exactly where we all stand - her and me in primary relationships, which are established and unquestionable, him single and dating - and there's a perfect balance, we all care affectionately for each other, without there being anything dark or too deep or complicated about it. All we do is deeply enjoy the moments when we're together, and there's something so selfless about it. There seem to be no power imbalances, no tensions that have made two-people-constellations difficult for me in the past.

I like him, I still have a crush on her (and may see her one on one), but most of all, I have extreme NRE about this little triangle of ours and its lightness and its goodness. I'm so happy when I'm with them. It just seems like the purest, most blissful little experience - and so unlikely. I don't know anyone in real life who has experienced anything like this. Of my closest friends, no one understands when I try to talk about it, haha.

So here I am. Gushing. Happy. Grateful. Anyone else experience a magical triad?
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Old 03-09-2019, 05:17 AM
MayDecember MayDecember is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 116

Distance prevents us from all being together right now, but it sure feels like you describe a lot of the time when we are. Golly you made me miss the high energy "physics"!

One of the things we did before going down the poly road was read surveys of relationship happiness, where they compared heterosexual to poly. It was very stark that so long as poly was practiced ethically the people were generally happier.

It is axiomatic that when people are unethical it doesn't matter what kind of relationship you are in. Bad faith gets bad results.

We are not that surprised about how much fun we're having. When we can have both. Because science supports it! And we did what they said about clear communication, respecting boundaries, even written contracts.

So there is justice in that. Lol, imagine there being justice in poly love.

Have fun. Break world records. Gold medals for everyone.
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Old 03-09-2019, 01:31 PM
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FallenAngelina FallenAngelina is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 2,359

Originally Posted by prettylittleriddles View Post
All we do is deeply enjoy the moments when we're together...
I think that when anyone, anywhere, in any type of relationship, is holding this as the purpose of being together, it's always magical.
~ Karen
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Old 03-13-2019, 09:39 PM
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playful808 playful808 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: A small island in the middle of a large ocean.
Posts: 3
Default sharing joy

We are Deeply in Love, Happily Married
Friends are a Regular Part of Our Play
Our Loving is Rich, Juicy, Interesting, Varied
All in an Open and Ethical Way

We have a long-term, stable, committed, loving relationship.
Both have high standards for honesty and transparency.
We communicate beautifully, with kindness and respect.
Really strong, honest, solid friendship.

We have never been exclusive, and we are strict ethical sluts, or strive to be.
Never gave up our FWBs, we shared them instead.
Introduced them! Sharing is fun.
We have no kids, but our FWBs and lovers are our family.

Weirdly, we are the happiest couple we know, by far.
So much love, support, honesty, and it is so simple.
People say "it's complicated", but it's not, unless they make it complicated.

Don't fight human nature and don't fight change.
Instead, you learn it, use it, surf it.
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family, happiness, happy, hope, living situation, living together, love, moving in, open poly relationships, poly fi, success, vee

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