So my spouse recently broke up with his girlfriend. When they were dating, the polycule - including her other partners - was really into kitchen table style. We celebrated birthdays together, had various various holidays parties, or would even just go out as a group spontaneously for some ice cream.
My meta and I would also occasionally get together alone to do friend stuff like have a cup of coffee or go shopping. She was eager to become good friends with me, and I was willing to give it a try since I was fairly new to all of this and wasn't sure what my preferences were yet. (She was only the second person my spouse has dated so far).
I like her as a person, but our personalities couldn’t be more different and we honestly don't share a lot of common interests.
In the future, I’d be happy to be friendly and polite with metas when we're at the same events and exchange contact information in case of an emergency. If they wanted, I'd also be cool with meeting up once to talk about how we practice polyamory and see what we might have in common.
With that being said, I'm not interested in pursuing actual friendships with them unless they’re people I’d want to befriend if I'd met them in some other context.
I totally respect other people’s desires to be good friends with everyone their partners date, but I’ve come to the conclusion that this simply isn’t my cup of tea. I’d much rather allow metamour relationships to develop naturally on their own, whether that means we become best friends or rarely/never see each other at all.
How close are (or were) all of you with your metamours? What expectations do you have of them as far as developing or not developing an independent friendship goes? I’d sure like to hear your thoughts on this.
(Also, this is the first thread I've made on these forums. If I've put it in the wrong section, please let me know!)
My meta and I would also occasionally get together alone to do friend stuff like have a cup of coffee or go shopping. She was eager to become good friends with me, and I was willing to give it a try since I was fairly new to all of this and wasn't sure what my preferences were yet. (She was only the second person my spouse has dated so far).
I like her as a person, but our personalities couldn’t be more different and we honestly don't share a lot of common interests.
In the future, I’d be happy to be friendly and polite with metas when we're at the same events and exchange contact information in case of an emergency. If they wanted, I'd also be cool with meeting up once to talk about how we practice polyamory and see what we might have in common.
With that being said, I'm not interested in pursuing actual friendships with them unless they’re people I’d want to befriend if I'd met them in some other context.
I totally respect other people’s desires to be good friends with everyone their partners date, but I’ve come to the conclusion that this simply isn’t my cup of tea. I’d much rather allow metamour relationships to develop naturally on their own, whether that means we become best friends or rarely/never see each other at all.
How close are (or were) all of you with your metamours? What expectations do you have of them as far as developing or not developing an independent friendship goes? I’d sure like to hear your thoughts on this.
(Also, this is the first thread I've made on these forums. If I've put it in the wrong section, please let me know!)