Sailing Solo

So the drunk dial is excusable at this point? Hanging out with friends, long holiday weekend and all that.
Sure, excusable for now, IMHO, unless he says stuff that really rubs you the wrong way before you meet him. You'll probably know right off the bat when you do meet whether he's an asshole or not.
 
I had a nice message exchange with Prof, I messaged him first looking for some info, but he was ready to board his flight so I timed it right. And by waiting I now know more about disconnecting and reconnecting a garbage disposal unit.They are heavy and best to have a second pair of hands! But I did do it myself even if I couldn't fix it. I can see the jammed screw but can't get it out. Ah well.
Prof offered to fly me to Euroland for a trip in June. I know my boss wants me to take a few days off so it might just work if it matches up with the kids and ex's holiday. That is a big IF so not planning my packing yet.
He noticed I was back on OKC, I told him at least a couple of weeks ago, so not sure why he emailed to say he saw me.
OCKdive sent a few messages today.
OKCcue has been messaging on and off. I teased him a little about the drunk dialing and he apologized for waking me. All good.
Roomie had a successful OKC meet 'n' greet yesterday so I am hoping the positive vibes are in the air.
 
OKCcue nearly cancelled but looks like we will meet for a short time tomorrow.
This is the point where reality sets in...he wanted to reschedule and I have nothing for another 2 weeks. I will pay for a sitter but not for a meet n' greet.

OKCdive asked me for where, when and what on friday? I suggested one of
Prof's first meet ideas.:p I am a little wary of someone who can't come up with an idea and asks for 100% planning. He is lucky he got me in scheduling mode and before I thought about it too much.
 
hours with OKCcue was more than enough. He turned up in jeans and a t-shirt and had forgotten his wallet. I should have left after the first bar but I really wanted to work on my Goldilocks attitude of "too hot, too cold, too tall, too short" so I went to the second. I had one drink as I was driving, maybe 10 would have worked.
It was like talking to molasses, molasses that doesn't seem to do much apart from watch sports and barbecue. He tried to hold my hand, stroke my leg and I just couldn't take it. I told him in the parking lot that I didn't want a second date but thanks for meeting.
One of my behaviors to try for the week, is not break up with people in a blunt manner but do the faaaade. I flunked that tonight. I couldn't even pretend to think about it and go home and fade by avoiding making other plans. I am was simply, "I don't want to do a second date but thanks for meeting. Bye."
I am disappointed and trying muster some enthusiasm for meeting Dive on Friday.
I am trying to do the fade with Kip too, as I am crap at breaking up with him. 5 days with no chat, I did a 3 word "conversation" with him this afternoon and declined a phone call. The sex is great but I am so bored with him.
Prof is fine. He has been away for a week. Lots of messages tonight and then a video chat. It was really nice to see and speak to him. I miss him; it took one week exactly.
 
I missed Prof for a bit on Wednesday night and now I am fine. He could stay away for another week. Sometimes I wonder not if I am nuts but to what degree.
I have no particular desire to spend time with anyone right now apart from my kids, who are hilarious and fun and are up for any activity that I throw at them.

Prof has offered to take me on his next couple of business trips, the work-in-Europe trip will not happen, but he has a couple planned for in the U.S. I can't do next weekend but will do one in June. My boss has agreed to the time off as I am working my ass off and I said my ex seems like he will actually take the kids for a week. I will have nearly a month of vacation time this summer. :D Prof says he misses me and has considerably less fun and decided the solution was to bring me along whenever possible. :D

Date with Dive tonight. I scheduled a start and finish time for it. He has one hour. I am awful :eek:
 
I forgot to post the last message so back-to-back posts.
No to OKCDive. Very intelligent man, quite happy to sit on a research vessel for months at a time studying data. ASD are we? I had that pegged about 2 minutes into the meeting, didn't actually need the detailed descriptions and perseverations on his work. I basically sat and listened for an hour and I am very glad I set a finish time.
I am not the world's greatest catch. I know this. I really am trying to be reasonable with my expectations.
I disabled my account OKC account again. I can always pick it up again after the summer travels.
 
I sent my project to my professor to see if it is adequate for submission. I really hope so cause I am quite bored with it.
 
Project needs some editing. I was worried about rewrites, so sigh of relief.

I have time this week and next to meet Kip and am not going to try to schedule it. We still chat a little but I am not getting pulled into any sexting type conversations.

The reunion with Prof was excellent. I was in such a "meh" mood and actually put of seeing him for an additional 4 hours. We chopped tomatoes, fucked, made and ate dinner, fucked, had tea break and tv, fucked, went to sleep fucked. I told him about my two dates, because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to. We didn't discuss that I told him after and not before but hopefully he saw that doing it my way was more likely to produce information than doing it his way. It is weird seeing him after the break and took me a while to warm up to him again. the sex certainly helped :D

He is leaving for a Euro trip at the weekend, I don't know for how long he will be away for, he hasn't booked it yet.
It looks like the trip that he wants to take me on at the end of the month will come together. I am very much looking forward to travelling with him. I think the "meh" partly comes from not wanting to get too excited yet. I think once court is done then I can go crazy with planning.
 
Things are going well. The paper copy of my project has been submitted and my professor says it will pass. I am still not getting too excited till the final grade has been posted, although there was a bottle of bubbly drunk last night in celebreation. Maybe it was 2 bottles :eek:
Work is extremely busy. I asked for, and got, a pay rise. I feel that I have generated and implemented some positive changes and I am worth it, even if I am still on the steep learning curve. The powers that be apparently agree and the bump needs one more OK for it to go into effect.
Last night was super fun with Prof, lots of sex. Poor man, I have hardly let him set foot outside the bedroom the last 2 times that I saw him. I will have to be reasonable with my expectations on the city trip. He will be working while I will be reading and exploring.
The camping trip is, in my mind, clashing with the city trip. We need to pack up the pop-top and be on the road buy 7:30 am the day we depart.. It takes a minimum of 40 minutes to pack it up, and that does not include feeding kids. We need to drop the kids with the ex at 9 am, turn around and drive to the airport. We have 2 hours from dropping the kids till the door shuts on the plane. I told Prof it was best to cancel the camping. He said no, we can just get up early. I said he doesn't get up early. He said he could sleep whilst I drove :rolleyes: I said it was too much to organize and prepare for. He said take 2 bags, one for camping and one for the city trip.
I could not understand why he wouldn't let me cancel until he told me about the camping gear he had ordered online and wanted to try out, a tomahawk, a machete and a popcorn maker. Boy toys!
I will keep an open mind about prepping for both trips but if I can't manage without it turning into a stressful chore then I will speak up and cancel.
I am barely communicating with Kip. He has asked a few times to see me, says he misses me. I suggested a dinner and fuck session for one night next week. What are the bets he will decline?
 
It is only one night. I will ask him tonight why he is is so determined to go.
Booking campsites is very difficult. It took me hours to find that one. Spots are booked out as soon as they are released, which occurs 6 months in advance and the booking platform is a little clunky. Maybe that is why, maybe it is the toys, maybe he finds it very relaxing and is looking forward to the break. He runs his life at the kind of pace on a daily basis. Plane, drive, meeting, dinner, drinks, dates, rinse, repeat. I have kids, pets and job I have to go into to factor as well. I can't keep up with him. One of the joys of an open relationship, is there are other women to share the load.
If I feel that I can't get it all done without going crazy then I won't do it. Prof is lucky in that he has a camping fairy that does the menu planning and grocery shopping and he doesn't have to go into work if he doesn't want to.
 
Prof said that stacking activities up is how he does things, but if I can't manage then no pressure. He is excited to try out his new camping gear, mostly the lethally sharp pointy objects :rolleyes: and is open to me setting things up how I ever need to. Cancelling is fine.
We also discussed my dating and how and when I want to provide information. I have a Meet-Up coming up. Although I am not anticipating anything more than tennis I did feel that the last conversation we had on the subject did have a few grey areas. So, I told him that I would let him know after I had the first meeting and I would not be giving him any online information. He grumbled a bit about that. But I cited the fact that I managed 2 dates all by myself :eek: did not get into a car with either of them, though Cue did try, and decided not to see them again, all with no input from him on the matter. I added that I would have a knock down drag out screaming fight over the issue if he wanted but that was how I was going to do things. He was a little shocked at that and pointed out that we have never had raised voices and did admit that I seemed firm on the subject and understood this procedure is what would make me happy.
No sex last night. Apparently the sex was good enough on Wednesday to keep him going :confused: I did ask about how much sex to expect on vacation and he said everyday :D
Tickets have been booked for the city trip! So excited. So amazed that someone is buying me plane tickets. It is a bit of a blow to my sense of independent self. but there is no way I could pay my way on this trip and he has been offering for a while. I am graciously accepting, will buy dinner and will work out some things to see and do that maybe he has not seen or done before.
He booked the tickets in my married name :( and I asked if it was easy to change it. It took him an hour and phone calls to the airline to do it, but he did. I felt bad after drawing the line in the sand about dating the night before and then him spending an hour of his jam packed day to fix something I should have mentioned when he called for date of birth. I also called off the name change when I realised it was not going to be easy, but he kept at it anyway.
He is leaving for Europe tomorrow but heading to the city tonight.

Kip replied to dinner and sexy time offer with "can't." I am not entirely sure how I would have handled it if he had said yes. If he pushes for a meeting then I will tell him that I have no time till the end of August. Which is true. This Wednesday is it. I knew he would say no, it was set-up. The last time I tried to cut contact I failed after 6 weeks, but I am feeling pretty confident this time. I really don't want the man near me again but I am not doing a formal declaration of break-up because I end up retracting a few days later. This is the long, drawn out, make offers that he won't accept, fade away option.

Tomorrow I am taking the kids on a museum day with #1 kid's friend and his mum. She called me today, suggest the trip and offered to drive! I don't know if I mentioned meeting her before. She is very friendly and extrovert, talks and talks. I am making the effort for the kids cause I suck at arranging play dates with kids other than my friends' kids. I think it will be great fun and am looking forward to it.

I went to see Mad Max today. Very little dialogue but the action was intense and continuous. The cinema has the super comfy reclining seats with foot rest, the chair was worth the price of a matinee ticket alone. I enjoyed the film although not much of an action viewer any more.
 
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Kip called and said he could do an overnight next Wednesday, but I will be on the city trip.
I have been enjoying planning the city trip, a number of the famous sites and a few very silly things. I ordered some paperbacks from ebay and downloaded a couple of kindle books and plan to do some serious sitting and reading. I promised myself some books when I finished my Master's and so I feel I deserve some mega long reading sessions. I am also going to buy some new shoes and work out at the hotel gym. no pool though.
My Master's paper was accepted and although my transcript hasn't been updated yet, I got an email from my professor to say everything was completed. :D I came in under my self-imposed 2 year time limit, despite also having to deal with; one new job, a divorce, new house, new-to-me car, 2 kids, travelling... I worked hard for it.
I have got partway through my application for the next round of classes due to start in October but don't think I can afford it and might need to wait another year and while taking a break is so terribly appealing, I fear that taking too long of a break will slow momentum.
Prof is trekking about Europe. He sends emails that are 2 sentences long but there are about 3-4 a day. He sent one signed "Love from Paris." He usually just puts his name, I don't put anything at all. It was sweet and I was touched. I have kept all of my emails strictly about City Trip details but will send something vaguely soppy tomorrow. He likes it when I say I miss him. I haven't missed him this week and I am very much looking forward to seeing friends and having alone time this weekend. But I am excited about and looking forward to spending the week with him on the trip.
I am so busy at work and dealing with the kids end of school year activities that the little bit of free time I do have is nice to spend being alone, having mad crwzy sex would be better but alone is just fine.
 
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Apparently your personal thread was hijacked with a meme that disregarded the fact that you have kids. None of those jobs are relevant or practical to the author, and is totally a WTF? Moment...I feel the need to apologise on behalf of the rest of the community here....
 
HI Starlight,
It is just spam, annoying but no need to apologize.

So things are coming to a head with Kip. He wanted to see me on Friday but it was mid-period and I said no way for sex but I let's meet halfway for coffee and a catch-up. I didn't hear from him again.
I did realise that his offer for Weds night this week was in theory doable. City trip isn't until the week after. That was a genuine mistake, but instead of wondering if I could make it work my reaction was one of relief that I had already told him no.
I did send him a message saying that we shouldn't bother trying to schedule for a while. He wanted to know why. I can avoid answering until Monday or Tuesday.
My success rate at breaking up with him is not good, to say the least, so I am simply going to keep postponing till he gets the hint.
The Meet-Up was great fun. 2 hours of tennis. 7 people. Ages from 30s to 60s. I was second from worst player, there was a complete beginner. I ended up organizing the rotations so everyone got to play doubles and everyone played on the 3 people court. I don't think there was much dating action. One guy was definitely being keen on me but I am enjoyed meeting playing and am not interested at this point. Everyone seemed happy to just be playing and having fun. A few of them were very good. I posted a notice on the message board afterwards about playing in a months time, I hope to make it a regular thing.
Prof is back tomorrow. I am excited and looking forward to seeing him. I am not sure if it will be tomorrow night or Monday, it all depends on when he lands. I will leave it up to him. I can't imagine doing that trip and then going out again if it is the evening flight. I would want to get settled in at home for the night and catch-up on sleep.
I am going to see my friend tomorrow and borrow a suitcase. Then pack the camping bag and the city trip bag. I did some shopping for both trips today so am thinking I can get it put together. Ah. just remembered I already told the kids we are going away in the camper van. Maybe they will forget over the weekend. :)
 
One of Prof's flights has been delayed. He won't get in till 9pm. We did some naughty texting during the layover during the delay. I told him that I really was looking forward to seeing him but understand if he just wants to go home. He replied that he will be tired but wants to come round anyway. He has a full day and evening tomorrow in the city so that option is out. So that would push it out till Tuesday. I didn't think that far ahead. Oh well. I am not sure if he sees another woman regularly on Tuesday or not. I know he is in the city on Friday for a concert, no idea if it involves a partner.
I sometimes think he would like to discuss partners more, he says he enjoys relationship type conversations. I make an effort then lose interest again. Back to doing behaviors because I think I should and think it is the correct way. Open/poly relationship check in.
The last one went something like. this...
Me : Relationship check in time, how are things with you?
Prof: All good, you?
Me: Fine. Anything you want to make a time to discuss?
Prof: No, you?
Me: No. That was awesome let's do it in another 3 months.
I am happy, excited for the traveling, lots of hotel sex. Things seem mostly calm and in a good place :D
 
Fun sex with Prof last night. Not an epic long session but, "haven't had sex in a while, that reminds why I like it," kind of fuck. Poor man had been travelling for 24 hours too.
He did ask me in a round about way if I had fucked anyone else. I answered no, I didn't ask him what he had been up to in that way.
I am going to ask him if he feels that he can't share or that he is happy enough not to share. I think I asked him a while back but don't really remember the answer. I think he said he wasn't overly concerned or words to that effect. If he feels that he can share without it turning into a exposition on why different partners are unhappy then I am fine with it. It is such a fine line for me. I was rereading some of my drivel from early days with Prof and Ms Text, then Prof and Ms White Pickett and it is not surprising I got burned out on listening.
This is a pattern with me, ask, don't ask, ask, don't ask. I think it works better if we maintain a certain degree of separateness, but that could be me projecting.
Court went well today, very quick. I got an order saying the kids have to be back on the Sunday before our Euro trip. The ex's exclamation at that was enough to confirm he had been planning some kind of "Whoops, sorry you missed your flight, couldn't be helped." The rest of it has been continued to August, which is fine.
I picked up another suitcase today from a different friend for the Euro trip, so now I have 2 big ones to fill up with chocolate and one carry on :D
A few messages with Kip last night, it ended on a sour note, so... heading towards over.
 
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I need to cancel camping, the site is locked until 8 am and we would need to be on the road by 7am, so it won't work.
Prof invited me and the kids to stay at his house on Saturday instead and have a campfire on the beach. He is desperate to try out his new camping toys and sharp pointy objects and wants to pop corn with the kids and let them amputate limbs from each other. It is very lovely that he wants to do things with them. I would rather stay home and leave from here on Sunday morning but he had planned out the evening already in his head so I will go with it.
My suitcase is packed. I ordered and bought a few new sexy skimpy things and packed something fun for each night we are there. Hotel sex is totally worth a big effort. I still have yet to try out the classic pick up in a hotel bar role play but with 7 nights, we should be able to make it work!
I have avoided Kip since Sunday, he hasn't tried to contact me, but I think he thinks I am out of state because I got my dates mixed up. Maybe there will be no more contact and the fade technique will have proven itself effective. My current behavior strategy is to wait more things out and not leap to fix things. This is one example of that, waiting to see if the situation can resolve without feeling the need to take some kind of definitive action.
My gut tells me he will reach out on Monday.
One more work day to go!:D
 
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Tears from the youngest about not wanting to stay with daddy for more than 3 nights. The older one was fine but started negotiating today, "7 is too many how about 5? Can you come and get us if 5 is too many?" I have promised Lego, books and ice-cream if they manage 7 nights. :( It is hard to be excited about my trip when they are not happy about theirs.

I booty called Prof today. He said yes and we had a not too quick quickie at lunchtime. :D

I have still not contacted Kip or he me. The "no contact" thing is hard, it is such a habit to have the chat program open and running but I find I don"t have anything left that I want to tell him. So while I am tempted to send a "hi", there is not much else to say.
Being away next week will be a good opportunity to break the habit and I will be too busy worrying about the kids to think about him much.

Prof said something today about more work trips for him between city trip and euro trip. If he is going to continue to travel to the same degree then I will have time to see someone else a couple of times a month, maybe one of the tennis people. One of them asked me to play this Sunday. I detect a little interest.
 
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Go pop-top camping?! I am hilarious. Spend the night at Prof's?! Hardy hardy har har.
I have spent the day cleaning and prepping and am still not ready. I suggested to the kids that we make cupcakes for Father's Day too, so that sucked up a good hour or two. Thank goodness I packed during the week.
No night at Prof's, we will drive over there and hang at the beach for S'mores and popcorn then all come here for the night, hand the kids off in the morning and high-tail it to the airport.
Prof has been great at accommodating my plan changes.I am so excited for the trip.
 
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