Sailing Solo

I think you hit the nail on the head NYC, comfort and distraction. I can do that :)

Busy week with work and class.
Saw Kip yesterday. He totally annoyed me by not cancelling Thursday in a timely manner, I had to chase him up for a yea or nay less than an hour before the scheduled meeting, having previously sent 2 IMs. I later sent an IM which said it is rude to not cancel, especially as he had decided the day before.
I got a phone call and offer for lunch on Friday, I couldn't do that, but we did meet later in the afternoon for some fun. He is heading off for his trip on Monday so I wont see him for a couple of weeks.

I stayed overnight at Joe's. I drank wine. When will I learn? 2 glasses and then a sake with OJ. I had my first experience of "not remember the next day" sex. I remember the start and him saying do you want to lay down at the end. I have no recollection of anything in between. Poor man was "horrified" when I confessed this afternoon, he said he hoped I didn't think he "took advantage" of me. If I was on top I am not sure how he could of, lol.
He said the sex was "outstanding" wish I could remember it. Haha. Never had that happen before. Funny experience.

Prof is back early from his trip, wants to come and hang out tonight. Definite increase in the number of texts. Little chit chat things, fairly constantly throughout the week. Comfort and distraction.
 
Kip is away. Sent me a link for one of the hotels. All I could do not to chew an arm off in frustration. My big envy trigger is travel, by a long shot. But I am working on my travel fund, so positive steps to make something happen.

And speaking of travel, Prof invited me to go to New Orleans for the weekend, pay for my ticket. I did not get my hopes up ( apart from gooling hurricane cocktails) and just as well cause ex said he can't/won't take the kids for the weekend.
I have Friday night off only.:mad: I think this is the 7th weekend in a row. This is the man who wants 50/50 time share. :rolleyes:

So much travel frustration for me. But I am expecting my tent to get delivered tonight. Just the same as 4 star hotels and rooms on stilts over the ocean, right?

That has been on my bucket list for years, a room on stilts over the ocean. Joe said he will get his travel fund started, he has an idea about on island in Honduras. I would pay a crazy amount for one night is a stilt room and indeed most of them are a crazy amount. We shall see.

The man plan for the week is Prof tomorrow and go stay at Joe's on Friday. We might see Joe and Minijoe tonight if they come up for a swim, it is very hot.

Class is going ok. Picking away it every day and night. I simply don't have the time to do it in marathon sessions. Joe helped me with the tech side last week which was much appreciated.The deadline is Sunday but she wants it handed in on Friday night. Doesn't that make the deadline Friday?
 
Kip has been chatting away on IM, just like old times. Apparently I should have listened when he said he was overworked and stressed, because that seems to have been the case. I think I can see him on Monday if the ex takes the kids for a few hours.

Things are very good with Joe. He hid his OKC profile and I was a bit shocked. We were trying to work out the date of first meeting and I went online to look it up, and he was not there. Said he doesn't want to date anyone else. Oh dear. I couldn't really get into the discussion as Minijoe was in the room. It was a one-sided statement of exclusive dating. I hadn't logged into my account in ages as I changed the password with the hacking concerns of a while ago, and then promptly forgot the new one, so was unaware of this. Hmm. Suppose we need to discuss this. I have really just been enjoying the NRE and the sex has really improved, and haven't wanted to discuss relationships.

Prof. There have been 2 discussions on relationship status there, but not too much in the sense of where I stand.
He told me last week he had made changes to his OKC profile. I was a bit surprised and asked him what he was looking for in a relationship going forward. He said he had no idea but was waiting for normal to return. There was something about he "valued my friendship," I said I wasn't asking about me I just curious about in general. He brought up the topic, not me.
I checked out his profile changes, and it was just very sad. I don't know why he would bother, I would just hide my profile for a while, but I suppose we deal with grief in different ways. He is contemplating taking the summer off from one job, I think that might be healthy.
Fast forward to last night, I was joking about letting me get the tip for dinner, or he would dump me, long standing joke, and he said that Ms. Philly had dumped him today. Ms. Philly was the woman from Xmas who he wanted to do the 3way with. He showed me the text and gave me the back story. She had asked him a couple of months ago to be his primary and apparently he made it loud and clear in a restaurant, much to her embarrassment, that that was not going to happen. She wants to get married, go monogamous, have kids and live "the white-picket dream." His kids have graduated college, no way is going down that path again. So she decided that if that wasn't possible then she was done with him. So that sparked more talk about his dating future. Seems awfully rushed considering how recently Ms Text passed, but he wants to talk about so I am letting him.

He asked me if I wanted to be "primary". I said how about you rethink the hierarchical model entirely. He kind if agreed and pointed out that the previous rules are no longer valid and he is free to do what he wants. He did he is also say he is rethinking the whole open relationship model. He did ask me what I wanted and I said nothing different but if you do get a primary then please don't do the rules thing again because I won't stick around for it. I said the rules were unkind and he agreed.
So I kind of side-stepped answering the primary question. I think things are fine as they are and I would not want to become part of the model that I found quite distasteful. I think it would require some kind of paradigm shift from Prof. Bottom line is, I don't want anything much different.

He invited me and the munchkins to his street BBQ on Monday. Meet the neighbours and all that. Eek socializing with strangers, I did try to politely decline but he said the kids would love it as they block the street off and there are other kids their age to play with. Couldn't really refuse in the face of that logic, plus no cooking for me.
New Year's Resolution 2014, be more sociable with strangers. It will not be next year's resolution for sure.
 
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My borrowed t-shirt smells like Prof and my bedroom smells like Kip. Quite delicious and highly erotic.
 
My borrowed t-shirt smells like Prof and my bedroom smells like Kip. Quite delicious and highly erotic.

Totally! When my boys went on a road trip they each left me a freshly worn T-shirt to sleep with.....mmmmmm.....:rolleyes:
 
It's lovely, Jane. I slept very well. Smell is such a turn on for me.

So this months class is finished, I have one month "off" and by off I mean working on the un-timed class only, then back at it again. Ugh.

I had decided not apply for any new jobs, my clinical supervisor said I had more than enough to do for the next year, and as a frequently unsupported co-parent shouldn't take on a new job on top of class etc. I must admit she speaks the truth. A survey of family, friends and the men folk confirmed that too. Everyone thinks i have enough to deal with. I kind of thought that but was all excited about a new challenge.
However, I did spot one that is a level up but not too demanding and applied. We shall see.

There has been all sorts going on, but am supposed to be packing the car for camping. :rolleyes:. I needed a little sit-down.
The kids are I are meeting JOe and min-joe and having a practice camp.
My 2 haven't been since I was with the ex, but I think we should be able to manage.
I had a super deal lined up with my doggie friends for their spotless wagon/estate car and was going to sell my compact to Prof's friend. However the noise in my car, that the dealership maintains is not a noise, put her off, so it all fell through. Looks like I am stuck with my small car. But whilst chatting to Prof about cars etc he said he wants to get a pop-up camper van so he can do trips with me and the kids. 8 hours later he is in talks with someone on Craigslist and planning to go get a cashier's check today to buy it. If various things check out he wants me and the munchkins to drive him up there tomorrow to buy it.
TL;DR Prof is going to buy a camper!!!!! Dont have to worry about cramming stuff in my small car.
 
Camper #1 didn't work out, but Prof is still working on it.
He is very enthusiastic about taking a few trips with me and the kids and a few adult only trips. We will see, it is starting to look a little like much enthusiasm but a challenge to get a reasonably priced van. Apparently 2 dealerships in the state buy them up, do some work and sell them for much higher than the Blue Book Value. Prof has started looking out of state too.

I have seen Kip twice since he returned from his holiday. Things are very good there, sex is still amazing and toe curling. The first meeting was funny, lots of " I love this and I love that about you. I missed you." But no outright, I love you. We are so alike in that regard.

Prof is doing ok, he is out of town visiting his son for the weekend and will back on Sunday after another memorial for Ms Text.
Things are different there, in communication if nothing else. I am now the recipient of "here's my schedule for the week" and I'll text you when I land" and" text you on my way back." Much higher frequency of chit chat texts too. I am also being trusted to store a few very high value items for him while the business is changing locations. I know he didn't ask anyone else to do it. Interesting.

Camping with Joe and Minijoe was fun. I got there first with my 2 kids and was got my carefully researched tent set up, it was a snap. Joe arrived minus the poles for his tent :rolleyes: and no flash lights. While we were setting up a camp a woman with a baby stopped to say... she had noticed me with the kids and wondered how I was going manage alone, but now she sees that I have a "helper" so she will not be concerned any longer. I was stunned. The implication was that now there is a man with me, that I will be fine. Joe thought it was hysterically funny, that the woman thought it was me that needed help when he was the one who had forgotten his tent poles. He gave me a lot of "helpless pretty lady" lines. He ended up sleeping in his car and minijoe came in the tent with me and my kids. I think we could have squeezed him in there too but he said no. 6 person tent really equals 4 plus some bags.
It was good that we had a practice. My kids were very well behaved and showed no signs of wandering off, this was my concern last year. And Joe realized that his days of sleeping on anything less than a queen size air mattress are over.
I am looking forward to the 5 days with the kids and Prof in July. We might get another short trip in but summer is already looking pretty busy.
 
I think Polysaturation has been reached for me. 3 partners/lovers seems to be as much as I can, or want to, deal with.
I have no idea how many lovers either Kip, Joe or Prof has, and I don't really care to ask; Kip would probably spin a line even if I did ask. Prof maybe has 2 infrequent lovers, Ms Admin and Ms Bike. I am 99.9% Joe doesn't have any other and I don't intend to ask.
Each relationship is entirely independent of the others, took me a while to work out that is the best for me and for them. I am not lying but I am not giving details about anyone else and they seem to have put that together and don't ask much anymore. Prof has asked a few times about my "friend" and Kip wants sex details.
I have asked them all not to leave any marks on me, I don't care to explain how or whom left what on where ;) This might be a challenge cause I like the bites and scratches. I have respected Kip and Prof's request over the past 2 years, to not to leave any marks, so I think they can do the same for me now. They all profess to not be jealous but they all point the marks out, so best to remove that conversation starter. Plus it is bikini season!
 
The ex flaked last night. Apparently I had completely misunderstood the "will text by 5 at the latest" conversation, what he meant was, not take the kids at all. Amazing how I could misinterpret it so terribly incorrectly.
In in the same conversation I had asked him about taking the kids over 4th of July weekend, I suspect last night was a kind of a payback, or whatever the word is, at any rate I do not doubt that it was deliberate. He managed the kids 8 nights last month, 6 of them were week nights, about the same the month before. No doubt will be crying for 50/50 at this year's mediation again.

I had to cancel Joe, for not the first, second or third time. He was very nice about it. I had already told him that I suspected a flake so to make alternate plans if he wanted to.

I have written in here how much I hate being a second hand flake and I hate that I still get upset even though I know it was what the ex does and I shouldn't be surprised. But I am.
 
TL;DR Joe couldn't get the vacation place and when I called the ex to say he was off the hook, the ex said he wasn't planning on taking the kids despite the 2 conversations about it, asking his boss, confirming that he wasn't working that weekend, texting and calling me to confirm. I can plan nothing that depends on him.

Good things:
Prof flew to his trip out of town on Thursday and drove back on Sunday in the camper van! It is in very good condition, Mr. OCD wouldn't buy anything that wasn't ;) he has already fixed the minor issues and found that the A/C needed a new fuse, and is very keen to have a test camp. I said I would find something for the weekend after this, hopefully an RV spot is easier to find than a tent spot.

Minijoe is heading to his mum's on Saturday so Joe and I are planning to spend as much time naked as possible on Saturday and Sunday, with pauses for tea and treats, and maybe a curry.

I saw Kip today. Sex sex sex...tea and treats....more sex. He gave me $300 for summer fun. :eek: Quite unexpected and very very generous.
 
Prof loves his camper van :D He popped round on Tuesday to show it to #2 child, who had been asleep during the first showing on Sunday.
He stopped to have some dinner and I ended up booking a test camp for all of us at the end of July. Somehow we also decided to make Wednesday night a camper van trial run. It was one of those moments when you realise that someone is asking for something but is being terribly unclear about it. I ended up asking directly, "Do you want to go camping tomorrow?" Big grin was the reply.
It was all a bit hectic, but we made it to the camp site at 7:30pm, got a cancellation spot, the people behind us were turned away.
Prof's earthquake/camping box has everything in it and I mean everything. I took mental notes. There were even mini bottles of booze! He hadn't opened it in 7 years and was very excited. His best item is a travel cocktail set; little leather container that holds 2 shaker cups, strainer, 4 small glasses and 2 alcohol bottles. He mixed Margaritas.:D We made pasta and garlic bread and sat by the fire drinking and chatting. I let him set up the van for the night, he wanted to clip all the curtains together. I would have snapped every second snap and been done with it :) I used to do that with the kids baby clothes, I only ever snapped 2 of the 3 snappers. I told him that story.
We christened the "upstairs" section and the downstairs section and slept in the downstairs section. Prof had researched the sleeping bags and got exactly what he wanted, 2 thick, duvet like bags that zip together, they were super comfy. He did give one to me, ah sweet, cause I certainly wouldn't have spent that much money.
I brought the wood, breakfast, tea, coffee and Margarita supplies, and researched campsites, paid for the campsite and did most of the driving. I cannot keep up with him financially. If he wants to buy the best of whatever it is he wants then he can, but I cannot, I have a budget.
I ended up teasing him a lot about the perfectionist behavior. I am learning to simply keep out of his way when he is on a roll, I offer to help and then keep out of the way and do something else. I was not allowed to help put the van back together :rolleyes: He was just so happy the entire time, said he last had a camper van when was he 16 and had wanted one for years. He is about to spend an obscene amount on a new sports car, but the van is providing much enjoyment in only week 1. I won't mention the big dent that he put in it, I bet is is fixed by the end of the month.
We have planned a road trip for July, the 3 main stops are so science geeky, he really wants to visit them but 2 of them have been places we both discussed, the third is right up my alley too.
As I write all this, it strikes me that things are so very different post Ms Text. I am sure there would have been no camper if she were still alive, no road trip to various geek paradises. They could have done the trip without a camper, 5 star hotels and the flash car. She was not the camping type, his ex wife refused to camp too.
Instead he is all enthusiastic to take me and the sprogs on grimy family type things.
I was really struck by the thought on Tuesday, as my 2 were clambering all over the camper, opening, closing, pulling, inspecting and asking questions, why a man of his age and freedom, would choose to be involved with a woman with 2 young children, seems like my idea of hell :) I did ask him, but don't really remember the answer, something along the lines of teenagers are worse and I am fun.
 
I got a letter from the court to get a move on with my divorce. The ex said to me last week that he would in no way cooperate unless I dropped the restraining order. Sure. Of course. :rolleyes: Time to let it go to trial.
So I have to push to get that done, course work and next class is starting in 2 weeks. I ordered the books yesterday.
Time management is obviously a pressing issue. 3 lovers who all want and deserve attention and a schedule full of deadlines. So bye-bye to tv and reading for pleasure. I have had the most pleasant 2 weeks of watching Orphan Black and catching up on a few books that I really wanted to read and eating too many of those mini crackers with cheese goo in them.
My hobbies are restricted to sexy time and the gym.
My car that hasn't been making a noise for the past 3 years? Needs a new engine. :eek: It still has 6 weeks left on the warranty. The only reason they are doing it is because of the other mechanic saying there was an issue. I bet they never even ran the diagnostic checks on it before.
I have the camper van for the next dew days, with strict instructions not to have sex in it or let the kids sit in it with wet swim suits. I had no intention of doing either. :rolleyes: But I am very appreciative of the loan and am cleaning the seats with the wet vac as a thank-you.
Kip is fine, seeing him on Thursday for a few hours. Prof on Thursday night and Joe on Wednesday night. A mid-week weekend.
Prof asked me if I ever have sex with different people on the same day. I said yes. I think he was a little squeeked out by it. I said he does the same, he said not for a long time. Apparently not seeing the other partners much at all. I didn't want the exact statistics. I am more surprised that he hasn't gone on a sex bender. I said I felt a little judge, he said he wasn't judging just wanting to know. It was probably me self-judging, just seemed a bit unusual for him to ask that type of question. He wondered how I could have more sex after the amazing sex we'd just had. I said there is usually a long period of time in-between. 4 hours is long isn't it? Time enough for a snack and cup of tea.;)
 
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... I said there is usually a long period of time in-between. 4 hours is long isn't it? Time enough for a snack and cup of tea.;)

Wonderful! Thank you for make me grin!
 
3rd in 24 hours. :D NYC.
I have rethought the 4 hour time boundary and moved it to 2 hours.
My ex cancelled on the kids yesterday whilst I was finishing lunch with Kip. I called Prof to say I had to cancel our date for the evening and he said come round now. So I did. We had a very quick naked time, ( 2 hour gap between him and Kip, lunch and tea) and he suggested going for a camp! So we called a park, got the van packed up, he went to a meeting, I got the kids and off we went about 5:30pm.
It went very well, the kids were beyond excited to sleep in the pop-top. I don't think they went to sleep until we did, about 10ish. We have a no clock rule :) for camping. Prof had to be back by 9 we made it by 9:30.( might have to adjust the no clock rule :rolleyes:). But no more random camps this month, it has blown my budget completely.
He invited me to a poly-potluck on Sunday night. I really don't want to go for 2 reasons. 1) I don't want to meet new people. I feel totally done with my resolution to meet strangers in social settings. I find it awful. I know I should go. Argh. I will see if he brings it up again. 2) It seems a bit couply.

The Joe thing is fun and fine. He may not be an aggressive kinkster in bed but wow he has some some stamina. Hours and hours and hours. I went down to his on Saturday and we left the house for dinner and lynch. Breakfast was skipped entirely :) Sunday we stopped for the occasional episode of Orphan Black and then got back at it again. He can't cum with a condom on, so we use that to our advantage. He said he doesn't care if he cums or not, is just happy to be naked and fucking.
Orphan Black is really good BTW. I can't believe it is Friday and I still haven't watched the next episode.
 
The big news is...I have a new job. :D
It all happened rather quickly. I saw it and applied, interviewed the following week, got the unofficial phone call on Tuesday and the official phone call on Friday. It is a step in the right direction but hopefully will not involve anything outside normal office hours, most of the other things I saw would involve frequent late nights. And by late I mean after 6pm, which is something I am not prepared to make the kids do.
I was not terribly optimistic of getting it all, I know the HR person and she said there were a lot of people going for it. If I hadn't got it then I wouldn't have applied for anything else, just sat at my current position for another year.
The men were all very pleased. Kip was a touch concerned that I won't have the flexibility that I do now, realistically I think I will. Prof and Joe were pleased that I will no longer be in physical danger. I am pleased about that too, the whole point of any of this, classes etc is to be a good parent and provide for my children, I can't do that if I am dead.
I go into sign paperwork next week and will hand in my notice on Monday. I had already started clearing out my office in quiet times. If for no other reason than it needed it.
Prof popped round fairly late last night for an episode and some ok sex. I think it is me being in a slightly not sexy mood.
I had ok sex with Kip on Thursday, it started ok and got quite good after we stopped for some tea and a chat. My poor head was over filled with new jobs, divorce and classwork. I felt I should be using that time to work. He was quite concerned and asked if I was going to phase him out or did not find him attractive anymore, the insecurity was obvious. I did my best to reassure him that the weird head space was temporary. During lunch he dropped the news that he had been married before for a couple of years. I was a fairly stunned and then decided it was none of my business, he talked about it anyway.
I can't do the poly pot luck tonight which actually turned into dinner at a Thai restaurant. Ex says he doesn't want the kids, poor man has worked 3 days in a row! Can you imagine! :rolleyes: Prof says he will come round after to hang out.
I think the kids and I are doing something with Joe today. I was so unmotivated to socialize yesterday and couldn't be bothered to drive down there or invite him up here. Yes, my period is due any second now which is probably behind my blah mood. Plus I still have the premium gas guzzling camper van.
Prof and I got a little into sex talk/partner talk last night. Pretty much just me and Ms Admin, he says he doesn't want to add anyone new, but is more likely to sleep with an old partner. He said he doesn't want to deal with someone making demands on his time, doesn't want the "whining for more than one night a week or a regular night per week." Interesting considering how much we are seeing each other, but I suppose it is coming from him offering and not me asking. I put out my free nights for next week and he said he would take them all.:eek: The idea always has been to pick one main night and then a tv night when the kids are here. I think we agreed Tues and Sat.
I also raised the thought that I might go monogamous for my new job, yes, I am being over anxious about the change. Prof said there is no reason why a single woman can't date multiple people, it doesn't have to be declared as a poly or open relationship. Good point :) and if I was to go monogamous then he would like it to be Joe who gets dumped. LOL. Prof said he had been dumped too many times already. I said then it should be like water of a duck's back. He didn't laugh.
It was a bit of a weird talk, again I think it the weirdness is all coming from my head.

Prof made his now common romantic declaration of " I really like you." I kind of get that he would have to, to want to deal with my flaky ex controlled schedule. Joe says he "really really really" likes me. Kip says LL, love lite, or adore. Polyaffectionate. I like them all too. :)
 
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All is back on track, my weird mood dissipated.
Lots of fun sex with Kip yesterday.
Prof tonight.
Joe tomorrow night.
 
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Prof and I went out for dessert, got drinks and watched the 2012 World Darts Championship on the tv in the bar. It was a hoot. I explained the rules, the oche, and how all the best players have huge guts and play with a pint of larger in their hands. We went back to his and got a bit trashed and chatted a lot.
Prof is so excited about his van, he said that his family went "camping in hotels". As in, they stayed in hotels and then did day hikes. Very loose interpretation of camping if you ask me. ;)
He has been pulling all sorts out of his garage to take on trips, the latest is a $500 set of walkie talkies. BTW when the zombie apocalypse hits, I am going to his house, he has everything, down to water purification and military rations. He plans to buy a gazillion batteries for these walkie talkies and apparently they charge from the wall too.

One good thing about me is when I say I will do something, then I do it. The summer of camping...3 trips so far, another one on Monday and then the 5 day trip. I don't think Prof can make that, he has an international trip.

We were planning to hit the playroom but his son called on the phone so I got into bed and kind of dozed off :) I did overhear mention of the trips so far, but no mention of me and the kids. I am fairly sure he is not "out" to his family.

Prof woke me up after the call and we had a lota lota fun.

Wednesday my period started :( and I didn't want to deal with period sex. but I went down to see Joe. We walked to dinner and watched a lot of Orphan Black, kissing, cuddling and just enjoying being with each other. I did totally want to rip his clothes and go at it for hours, but had ice cream instead. I am not mad keen on ice-cream, not a statisfactory replacement.

I am trying to wean off the I.M. chat with Joe. It has totally slotted in where I used to chat with Kip, but I can't maintain it. I told JOe last night it has to slow down. I hardly chat with Kip anymore, we had the pick-up during his vacation but he mostly wants to talk about mfm and to be honest it is getting monotonous. I haven't the time or inclination to be arranging to meet or look for new people for sex or anything like it. Polysaturated for sure.

Prof mentioned his friend who was interested in the swap, I am up for meeting them as there is no organizational effort required on my part.:p

Edited to add: Prof offered to show me the pics of Ms Text that were framed for the last memorial. I declined, I don't think she would want me to see them. He said they are all going away into storage for now. There is one of her on the fridge. He doesn't have many pics up at all, neither do I for that matter. I don't like people looking at me from photos.
I will remove Ms Text from my signature as Prof is now self-identifying as "single".
 
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All kinds of fun things, boat ride across the bay, overnight camping, stadium rock concert, stayed at Joe's, stayed and staying at Prof's.
There have been 3 "define this relationship" talks in the past 24 hours. I have been skirting around and avoiding them for ages. Apparently it has been clear to all involved that I have been avoiding and am not very good at relationship communication. :rolleyes:
It has pretty much all centered around the fact that while Joe has been aware we are not "exclusive" he hasn't really known anything else.
The chat with Kip was easy. We are in a "committed" relationship. Committed meaning committed to making time to see each other regularly and maintaining regular contact. We care for each other.
Prof started the next conversation, he said his anxiety was exacerbated by my reluctance to say what I was doing, when and with whom. He wanted me to ask him questions about dating and for him to be able to do the same. There have obviously been changes over the past 2 months and I just haven't wanted to get into the discussion. It seemed too soon after Ms Text's passing. The upshot of 2 conversations spaced over the night is; Prof would like me to be more open about my schedule. He wants 2 regular nights per week, Wednesdays to be back on track plus one other. Activities with the kids are "bonus" nights and not to be taken out of the 2 adults only nights.
He was not allowed to establish a relationship with my kids under the previous rules with Ms Text, I never knew this. So now that rule has gone he says he likes spending time with all of us, I am taking the kids to his today for the street bbq and we are all staying overnight. First time for back-to-back nights as adults and first time the kids will sleep at his. I am a little nervous about it, but having sleepovers is a skill they need to learn, how to behave when an overnight guest at someone else's house. They have only done overnights at my parent's and when doggy sitting years ago.
It's kind of funny, he says he does not want anyone to think they could replace Ms Text but yet he is really moving forward in what he wants from our relationship. Maybe because I am not asking for changes, they are all coming from him.
Prof is dating, but only previous people, not meeting anyone new. I said I am expecting him to go a little wild and have some fun, that is fine with me. We talked about the regular condom texts that he sends me. I am finding them annoying and said that he was as bad as me before with not using them but I don't pepper his dates with condom texts. Time to establish some trust with this or quit now.
All this led to the fact that Joe is not clear on what I am doing, so I called him this morning.
Joe said he kind of knew I was dating, we had had a few brief talks about not having an exclusive relationship and discussing that further down the line, so he was not altogether surprised when I spelled it out this morning. He said he really isn't into the idea of an Open Relationship but very much liked being with me and wanted to continue with what we are doing. He is going to have a little time to think about it and process but for now we are good.
I feel much better about it being out in the open. It was coming to a bit of head with trying to schedule everyone in. They both want vacation time and I am limited with how much the ex will take the kids.
Happy 4th of July to you all. We are heading off for a bbq and sleep over :D
 
Funny, I had forgotten most of the conversation with Prof, sieve brain.
What I didn't mention was the anxiety and stress that the conversations caused me. I suppose most of it centered around change and him asking for things from me. I feel like his is moving some of the Ms. Text relationship rules onto our relationship. I really don't care what he does in his own time and he has professed over the past year that he doesn't care to know much about what I do, but now he does.
Another rule that he tried to bring forward, was no relationship discussion whilst intoxicated. I said no, as it is probably the only time I will talk openly about things and I am not an angry drunk. Additionally, I am likely to forget most of what was said, so I don't see the problem :D
He did admit to being lonely, so it is fair to assume that he is focusing on our relationship as a distraction.
He seems like a different person in some ways. He looks at me differently and smiles differently. He is so much more touchy feely, talkative and open. The whole spending time with the kids, planning vacations, meeting friends, texting, taking photos, scheduling. I admit I am ready to run screaming...it's too much. Wow, there's a realization.
When we were discussing returning to set nights, apparently my face looked appalled because he did say, I shouldn't look so surprised, we usually see each other twice a week anyway. True. But it seems like so much. This week will have been overnights Mon, Thurs, Fri and probably Sun. He has however, got a number of trips planned including an international one, so we won't see each other much until our road trip towards the end of the month.

Interesting story about Mrs. Married, his "new" partner. Apparently he met her once a year or so ago and Ms Text vetoed her for being 1.5 hours late to his date. How on earth did I manage over a year without getting the chop?
On the very plus side. the sex has been frequent and very very good :) Have been no E.D. issues for a long while.
Joe is coming up tonight. I would like to not have any kind of relationship talk. He did say that he had been avoiding the relationship talk too, so maybe there is some hope we can skip on past it. :rolleyes: I suck at this.
 
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