My partner and I are starting out on a polyamory journey. But I'm not sure that we are doing so for the right reasons. I've read lots of others' experiences where they'd said they couldn't be monogamous and polyamory felt right. That's not my experience.
We started exploring polyamory because we equate our sex life with the state of our relationship and after a few years of marriage it was getting a bit stale. My husbands greatest fantasy is for me to have sex with another man. Ideally with him watching but he would settle for me having sex on my own. This is not my fantasy but I get turned on thinking about him with someone else. The difference between us is I don't need my fantasies to turn into reality to get turned on but it helps if there is some possibility that that might happen.
At first we did a mmf threesome, in which I felt like a piece of meat then we tried swinging which was a disaster. we left it for about a year after that but the sex and intimacy started tailing off again. While the thought of being with someone else is alluring I've realised that I need to not only be attracted to the person but also have feelings for them and like them as a person. So polyamory is the only way I can do this. But I'm picky so the dates have been as forthcoming as we'd like. To be honest my life at the moment is crazy and the thought of adding another relationship to the mix is a bit daunting.
My partner has just come back from a first date on a high becuase he really likes her and they had a great time. The jealousy is quite strong but I'm more sad than anything else. I feel that he may have started something which is going to change radically how our relationship is. How do you come to terms with this and are we even doing the right thing?
We started exploring polyamory because we equate our sex life with the state of our relationship and after a few years of marriage it was getting a bit stale. My husbands greatest fantasy is for me to have sex with another man. Ideally with him watching but he would settle for me having sex on my own. This is not my fantasy but I get turned on thinking about him with someone else. The difference between us is I don't need my fantasies to turn into reality to get turned on but it helps if there is some possibility that that might happen.
At first we did a mmf threesome, in which I felt like a piece of meat then we tried swinging which was a disaster. we left it for about a year after that but the sex and intimacy started tailing off again. While the thought of being with someone else is alluring I've realised that I need to not only be attracted to the person but also have feelings for them and like them as a person. So polyamory is the only way I can do this. But I'm picky so the dates have been as forthcoming as we'd like. To be honest my life at the moment is crazy and the thought of adding another relationship to the mix is a bit daunting.
My partner has just come back from a first date on a high becuase he really likes her and they had a great time. The jealousy is quite strong but I'm more sad than anything else. I feel that he may have started something which is going to change radically how our relationship is. How do you come to terms with this and are we even doing the right thing?