nycindie
Active member
I just read a book by Susan Forward called "Obsessive Love," and it really gave me some insight. When I think of jealousy (and this is not an emotion I struggle with, very often) I think it has a lot to do with obsessing over another person. I know for me I have to fight codependency issues, or I start to dissolve.
I can see where panic could set in at the thought of losing the love of someone you think you couldn't live without. I am working on the idea that the only person who will be with me till the end of time, is me. No sense glomming onto someone else for my own sense of worth or happiness... Deep down, once you learn to love yourself I think the jealousy feelings can subside. (Wow -- do I love myself? I guess I do!)
I really have no desire to possess another human being. If I love them I have no choice but to keep their freedom at the forefront of my mind. Otherwise they are loving me for less than pure reasons, which can hardly even be called "love" -- obligation, fear, duty, guilt, sympathy, pride ..... No thanks. You are free to love me and you are free to walk away.
I suppose I sound like I'm on a soapbox, I hope not -- this is my personal philosophy and I am not always 100% with it, myself, but it's what I strive for.
Thank you for posting this!!!! Very helpful to me.