Long marriage, new love, polyamory?

The good news here is that the more you open to Life, the happier you are and the more visible you make yourself to others (AKA intimacy.) Our relationships reflect who we are so as you find the joy within yourself, you'll synch up with others who mirror this and bring more joy into your world. You will literally be more visible and more attractive and you'll find people coming into your life in all sorts of new and pleasantly surprising ways. It's indeed a long road, but so it is for everyone and hooray for that. There is so much along the way.

A great thought, Karen. Thanks again for your thoughtful and meaningful words. I’m moving forward, but it's going to be some work to get there.

Dash -

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience. It’s good to know that there are others that are experiencing the same feelings and struggles that I am. It’s great to hear of your successes and strategies for boosting your confidence. I’m finding that it’s hard work, but ultimately rewarding in the end.
I think for some people, like my wife and your husband, this stuff comes naturally, and seems like they’re able to almost effortlessly build intimate and rewarding relationships. But I’ve actually been observing my wife and the way she goes about relating with people over the past few months, and it’s anything but effortless. She puts way more thought and effort into her relationships than I do, by constantly reaching out and taking the initiative to organize group events (e.g. monthly book club, dinners with other families, special events) and one-on-one coffees and walks with friends. I've also observed at how she really listens to other people when speaking with them.

I have been content over the last several years to latch on to her friends and friends-of-friends and haven’t needed to do the work myself. I’m now trying to adopt her methods, by organizing dinners, poker night, etc., while she’s not around. I’m also working on listening and being present when I do talk to people. Dale Carnegie’s time worn classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People” still contains many great pearls of wisdom in this regard.

I find that even if the people I get together with don't become tight friends, that these efforts to build intimacy boost my confidence and get me used to taking the initiative in building new relationships. It helps in my professional world, too.

Kevin, thanks for the resources you shared. In fact it was one of these I found by Googling "jealousy" a few months ago that led me to start learning about all that’s out there about Polyamory (and ultimately here)
 
Sounds like you are making some headway. :)
 
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