theghostship
New member
I'm fairly new to the online poly community, I'll do my best to do right by the lingo. I'm open to both supportive or blunt replies. I really just need some insight.
Our current relationship is a mostly polyfi triad. By that I mean we have been closed romantically and open to but not actively seeking others sexually. Let's call the current members Steve, Tony, and myself. Steve and Tony have been together for 5 years, married for 3 years, and I've been with them for 2 years. I am perfectly content and satisfied with the current arrangement. There aren't feelings of inequality, everything from decisions about adding a pet to finances to what we want for dinner are shared at this point.
Fairly recently we've been becoming very close to a new friend, Bruce. We've fucked around with Bruce a few times and we know they are open to the poly lifestyle. The idea of adding them into the relationship, expanding the triad to a quad, has been brought up. Bruce and Steve were the first to mention it, and Tony has some small reservations but isn't disinterested in the idea. My problem is that I'm not interested. Bruce is great, I love them as a friend and obviously don't mind including them into the sexual part of the relationship. It's been fun. However I simply have no interest in adding anything romantic into my life... I'm at a great place emotionally and romantically with Steve and Tony and I don't feel the need or want for more at this time.
I have brought up the fact that either or both Steve and Tony could pursue something with Bruce and I would be okay with it. However, with our mostly polyfi set up being so successful so far, neither of them seem to be a fan of having something separate from me. I suppose it could lead to hurt feelings down the road if either myself or Bruce started feeling left out. I've expressed myself to Steve and Tony and they are completely understanding and we all kind of feel at a stand still of where to go from here. I don't want either of them not to pursue something that could make them happy, I also don't want to force myself into something I don't want.
I'm not even sure what kind of reply I'm looking for here. I needed to lay it all out for unbiased ears... for feedback, or similar experiences (and how those have ended up).
Our current relationship is a mostly polyfi triad. By that I mean we have been closed romantically and open to but not actively seeking others sexually. Let's call the current members Steve, Tony, and myself. Steve and Tony have been together for 5 years, married for 3 years, and I've been with them for 2 years. I am perfectly content and satisfied with the current arrangement. There aren't feelings of inequality, everything from decisions about adding a pet to finances to what we want for dinner are shared at this point.
Fairly recently we've been becoming very close to a new friend, Bruce. We've fucked around with Bruce a few times and we know they are open to the poly lifestyle. The idea of adding them into the relationship, expanding the triad to a quad, has been brought up. Bruce and Steve were the first to mention it, and Tony has some small reservations but isn't disinterested in the idea. My problem is that I'm not interested. Bruce is great, I love them as a friend and obviously don't mind including them into the sexual part of the relationship. It's been fun. However I simply have no interest in adding anything romantic into my life... I'm at a great place emotionally and romantically with Steve and Tony and I don't feel the need or want for more at this time.
I have brought up the fact that either or both Steve and Tony could pursue something with Bruce and I would be okay with it. However, with our mostly polyfi set up being so successful so far, neither of them seem to be a fan of having something separate from me. I suppose it could lead to hurt feelings down the road if either myself or Bruce started feeling left out. I've expressed myself to Steve and Tony and they are completely understanding and we all kind of feel at a stand still of where to go from here. I don't want either of them not to pursue something that could make them happy, I also don't want to force myself into something I don't want.
I'm not even sure what kind of reply I'm looking for here. I needed to lay it all out for unbiased ears... for feedback, or similar experiences (and how those have ended up).