ShatteredReality
New member
Wife told me 13 hours ago about her poly feelings...we talked for 5 hours, and I thought we came to an agreement on "no".
She pushed a little for 2 hours after and i felt close to saying "yes but couldn't.
She went to her favorite bar to hang out with her friends like always.
Three hours ago I looked to the net for advice.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't stop my hands from shaking.
I don't want to keep her from being her and I see from all these replies that it would be terrible selfish and....for lack of a better term...abusive if i did.
I want to let her love freely but only love me.
I'm going numb....almost dieing inside at the thought.
Becuse of this website I know she'll not love me less.
I know its not a dissistion she 'just' came up with and she's felt this way for years (5 out of the 6 we've been married)
I understand the level of comunication in any relationship is key.
But I'm affraid I can't see her with others...but i can't see me holding her back.
And i'm not trying to offend with this word...I HATE myself for thinking she'll just go behind my back.
I hate me for not being abile to understand even after all this advice and online liturature.
....but....
After an hour of deleting post after post...and rereading this thread...I know no matter what...I'll survive.
We'll love one-another no matter what.
Thank you all for being so open, kind and carring to each-other and without knowing it....me.
I'm turning a page in my life as soon as she gets home and that page will see the end of abusive X's lies and childish fears i've been pinned to myself.
I might be back to tell you how it turns out.
"I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you." -Valerie from the movie "V for Vendetta"
She pushed a little for 2 hours after and i felt close to saying "yes but couldn't.
She went to her favorite bar to hang out with her friends like always.
Three hours ago I looked to the net for advice.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't stop my hands from shaking.
I don't want to keep her from being her and I see from all these replies that it would be terrible selfish and....for lack of a better term...abusive if i did.
I want to let her love freely but only love me.
I'm going numb....almost dieing inside at the thought.
Becuse of this website I know she'll not love me less.
I know its not a dissistion she 'just' came up with and she's felt this way for years (5 out of the 6 we've been married)
I understand the level of comunication in any relationship is key.
But I'm affraid I can't see her with others...but i can't see me holding her back.
And i'm not trying to offend with this word...I HATE myself for thinking she'll just go behind my back.
I hate me for not being abile to understand even after all this advice and online liturature.
....but....
After an hour of deleting post after post...and rereading this thread...I know no matter what...I'll survive.
We'll love one-another no matter what.
Thank you all for being so open, kind and carring to each-other and without knowing it....me.
I'm turning a page in my life as soon as she gets home and that page will see the end of abusive X's lies and childish fears i've been pinned to myself.
I might be back to tell you how it turns out.
"I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you." -Valerie from the movie "V for Vendetta"