Hi
I'm 22, and I've been in a relationship with a girl at my school since early March. We've been living in her room since mid-March, so about 2 months living together.
She ended a 3 year relationship in December, and she had sex with like 15 people in January... She's afraid of any mutual dependence on other people after her LTR.
She stopped doing anything sexual with other people once we'd been together 3 weeks, in mid-March. Her having sex with others came up as a topic in the past: I said it made me uncomfortable. It led to tension, and I decided it wouldn't be so bad, as long as I was loved by her. And I've grown really close to her. I'm a hugely positive presence in her life, and I love her so much. I love her so much that the thought of her having sex with other people doesn't bother me much anymore.
That said, my GF's closest friend, who she's been close to for years (also female) wronged me a few weeks ago. This friend of my GF also lives in the same dorm as us. She created tension over a possibly-barely-offensive hypothetical sexual proposition I sent her as a chat message. But in response, she was passive aggressive, refused to acknowledge my response, gave me the silent treatment, 2 weeks later, we finally talked about it. She apologized for blowing things up, refusing to acknowlwdge my apology, etc.
My girlfriend is close to this friend, and has wanted to have sex with her again (as they had in the past) since January... But her friend is warming up to the idea again recently.
My girlfriend hasn't had sex with others for 2 whole months. I love her more than anyone I've ever been in a relationship with.
I'm just not comfortable with the idea of her having sex with her friend who hurt me. That said, I worry about whether it might be worse to tell her "I don't want you to have sex with one of your closest friends". Commitment to me scares her, and she might resent me for trying to prevent this experience.
This friend has also been a destructive influence on my girlfriend, who's in a delicate mental state.
I plan to talk to my girlfriend, who I love very much, about it, but I wanted advice about how to handle this situation. I'm afraid if I say it makes me uncomfortable, the "forbidden fruit tastes sweetest" principle may be destructive to our relationship. But in my gut, I don't want my gf to take on std risk, to have sex with someone who hurt me.
Thanks...
I'm 22, and I've been in a relationship with a girl at my school since early March. We've been living in her room since mid-March, so about 2 months living together.
She ended a 3 year relationship in December, and she had sex with like 15 people in January... She's afraid of any mutual dependence on other people after her LTR.
She stopped doing anything sexual with other people once we'd been together 3 weeks, in mid-March. Her having sex with others came up as a topic in the past: I said it made me uncomfortable. It led to tension, and I decided it wouldn't be so bad, as long as I was loved by her. And I've grown really close to her. I'm a hugely positive presence in her life, and I love her so much. I love her so much that the thought of her having sex with other people doesn't bother me much anymore.
That said, my GF's closest friend, who she's been close to for years (also female) wronged me a few weeks ago. This friend of my GF also lives in the same dorm as us. She created tension over a possibly-barely-offensive hypothetical sexual proposition I sent her as a chat message. But in response, she was passive aggressive, refused to acknowledge my response, gave me the silent treatment, 2 weeks later, we finally talked about it. She apologized for blowing things up, refusing to acknowlwdge my apology, etc.
My girlfriend is close to this friend, and has wanted to have sex with her again (as they had in the past) since January... But her friend is warming up to the idea again recently.
My girlfriend hasn't had sex with others for 2 whole months. I love her more than anyone I've ever been in a relationship with.
I'm just not comfortable with the idea of her having sex with her friend who hurt me. That said, I worry about whether it might be worse to tell her "I don't want you to have sex with one of your closest friends". Commitment to me scares her, and she might resent me for trying to prevent this experience.
This friend has also been a destructive influence on my girlfriend, who's in a delicate mental state.
I plan to talk to my girlfriend, who I love very much, about it, but I wanted advice about how to handle this situation. I'm afraid if I say it makes me uncomfortable, the "forbidden fruit tastes sweetest" principle may be destructive to our relationship. But in my gut, I don't want my gf to take on std risk, to have sex with someone who hurt me.
Thanks...
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