Poly quiz, just for fun

AnnabelMore

Active member
Came up with this today after asking myself what I would be personally interested in thinking/writing about:

1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!
 
1) Honest, loving relationships with multiple people.

2) I'm Annabel. Late 30's, short, semitic, curvy, geeky, weird, poly, queer, kinky. I'm easily social, but form authentic connections relatively slowly. I like to think and write and laugh and play. A little addicted to the internet. Into cities.

3) 2.5? There's Davis, my bf. He's an introvert with a floppy mohawk who likes birds. He's mono and very devoted to me, very geeky, slightly kinky, straight. We've known each other for about 15 years, dated once upon a time for 3 years, and have been trying again since last June. We see each other multiple times a week. He's hung out in social situations with Gia and Eric a couple of times but finds doing so to be a little uncomfortable.

Then there's Gia, my gf. She's a friend from college. I got together with her and her husband for a threesome 3 years ago and about 6 months later we decided to date. She's an artist with a strong social conscience and she's also a great new mom. Curvy as heck. She has social anxiety but manages to be amazingly social. She's poly, bi, geeky, kinky-ish and getting kinkier. We see each other about once a week.

Finally Eric, Gia's husband, the ".5". We were lovers before Gia got pregnant and the expectation is that we will be again at some point, but the time hadn't been quite right yet. We've never been romantic partners though I had an unrequited thing for him for a good while. Now we're just friends/metamours, but I think of him as family. He doesn't really like people, forms VERY few strong bonds, loves nature, and is a rad dad. Straight, probably would call himself non-monogamous rather than poly, kinky-ish on a physical level at least, geeky. I see him when I see Gia.

4) It used to be the good ol' MFF triad, but I've let that go. No ideal at present except to love and be loved and have both wild times and security. I just don't see the point in thinking any other way when I don't know what the future will bring.

5) I'm out to everyone who matters to me and only retreat somewhat into the closet (I wouldn't lie about it but I don't talk about it) at work and with extended family, mainly because I just don't feel like explaining myself and being judged by people I can't escape from but don't have a real personal connection to. Occasionally it irritates me not to be 100% out 100% of the time, but where I'm at works for me.

6) Mostly it's all good. I think any form of "package deal" (you have to be with both of us or neither of us) is a terrible idea.

7) Best -- Not having to kick one person out of your heart/life in order to invite in another. Extra support and intimacy.
Worst -- Potential for compounded drama! Jealousy.

8) I think so.

9) I think people, including my imaginary kids, should know it's an option, but I wouldn't try to say whether or not it might be right for any given person.
 
Last edited:
Hey Annabel, :D

(just because I like you)

1) Loving relationships with more than one, as defined by the ones in the tangle.
(useful exercise...I tend to go along with common definitions or what I feel the commonly used meaning is)

2) I'm a goofy girl who doesn't feel nearly as grown up as she thinks she should (after all these years). Tall, as ordinary brown eyes and hair as they get. I have an annoying genetic condition that dislocates my joints (at its whims) and for the most part has me in chronic pain. I identify as queer to myself because I don't fit many labels. That said, once I found out that the largest commonality bisexuals have is not liking labels, I feel quite free to use them to insert or distance myself from groups. I'm a double libra / sagittarius moon/metal/rat (I think it's metal). I've changed all three of my names twice. I'm really vanilla, but quite open to trying stuff in which partners might be interested. I've had a very adventurous life on the path less traveled. I'm child- and uterus-free. I'm an ENFP, though extraverted, I'm highly sensitive, so a little extraversion goes a long way.

3) I'm currently the hinge of a vee with two men, FirstBoyFriend and CurrentBoyFriend. They are brilliant gamer geeks. I met FirstBF in mensa and he brought CurrentBF home from work. We've three been friends for nine years now. They're awesomely uncommunicative and have astonishingly low sex drives. CurrentBF lives next door, and thinks of me as his one and only, and suggested the vee for many years and was totally open to it. FirstBF is three hours drive away, and a total introvert. I love them both beyond sanity, reason, or hope. They are good friends, but I don't believe they've spent time together since we started, and the three of us haven't been together yet. I've not been with more partners at a time. I think about seeking another (it's been many years since I've dated a woman), but so far, it's only a thought.

4) When I was younger and inexperienced, I thought it would be fabulous to be with a man and a woman. I don't think I have an ideal configuration anymore; for me it's about the who. But I have a few years left, who knows? :D

5) I am out to all family and friends (well, all close family ~ I have distant cousins that I talk to on fb, but I'm not out by my real name on fb)(if y'all want to look me up, my name is the same in there)

I am out to a few girlfriends at work. Could be a mistake, but I'm not the sort of person who can keep very much to myself. I did go to Vegas with FirstBF a few weeks ago and my boss told me his wife was afraid I'd return, married. (I was friends with her before I worked for him) He said 'you do know there are other men out there right?' (because he knows FBF is my ex. I laughed so much! I adore my boss.

I am very satisfied, so far, with my level of outness. I anticipate that might change, if I ever get to go to a public place with the two of them again.

6) I think openness and honesty is better in relationship; but I concede I know a lot of people who have long marriages with bigger or smaller deceits. I don't think any configuration/orientation is better, I support what works for you.

7) What are the best things about poly to you?

I like not having to choose one over the other. As a child, I hated choosing because I was so concerned with fairness (I blame it on the libra). I don't remember when I knew that I loved them both, but once I did, I hated not being able to have them both.

What are the worst things?

Scheduling. Longing for the way someone's else's config works. (I am so envious of JaneQ, I would LOVE to sleep in the middle.)

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
Yep. I don't know. I was pretty happy when I've lived with mono partners. I love the living with/sharing a life stuff. I just chose really poorly for that.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

If someone asked, I would recommend with few reservations. 'Know thyself,' would be the most important one.

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!

I think I've used up a lot of words at this. :D Excellent exercise.
 
Last edited:
Came up with this today after asking myself what I would be personally interested in thinking/writing about:

Many of these questions might evoke a dissertation-length response from me but I'll try to give the "short-answer" version. (Disclaimer - answers apply to me personally, I don't speak for anyone else in the poly "community)

1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

Although the term "polyamory" refers to "many loves" - for me (who has a very vague understanding of the word "love") the concept of polyamory involves the willingness/freedom/openess to allow each relationship I have to define itself and not be artificially molded by what it "should" be. I don't have to "limit" my feelings for someone because of my feelings for someone else (although I may choose to modify my behaviours because of my feelings of responsibility to understandings I have with my current partners.)


2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

Poly, Bi, female. INTJ.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

My sig sums up my current situation. Married to MrS for 16 years, together for 20. My "boyfriend" (god, I want a better word for him) lives with us, since we got together a year ago, he is MrS's best firiend - the term "brother-husband" would apply if it didn't carry so much baggage with it. I have casual (FWB) sex with some of our female friends who are married to male friends of ours.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

If you had asked this a few years ago, I would have answered with me and MrS each with our own girlsfriend(s) (shared or not). Shows you how funny life is. Now? Me and my two boys with as many additional women as want to be with us (individually, or in any combination) while these women have complete freedom to pursue whatever other romantic relationships appeal to them. (While respecting safer sex practices and allowing each relationship to progress at its own pace.) (An aside, I find girls that appeal to me sexually on a regular basis, I take these feelings as far as the girl in question finds acceptable - generally not very far! I have encountered 2 boys IN MY LIFE that appeal to me on many levels - approx once every 18-20 years or so - and have incorporated them intimately into my life. What does this say about me? IDK.)

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

Not out. Our friends know (all 8 of them). Coworkers, family, acquaintances know that Dude lives with us (as "MrS's friend) and nothing further beyond their own speculations. Given the constraints of my profession/employment this is likely to be the extent of it for the forseeable future. I wish we lived in a world where this were not the case; we don't.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

The best way of "having relationships" is what works best for the people in them. Period.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

Best - two boys who care about me and care for me. Worst - in a Vee I reel responsible for meeting everyone else's needs (working on it...:rolleyes:)

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

Surprisingly, yes, if I hadn't had the experiences to lead me to be who I am. MrS and I were essentially mono for long stretches of time. If he had never brought Dude home and the girls had been in situations that didn't allow for outside relationships I still would have been 100% happy with MrS. I didn't turn to others because I wasn't happy but Happy+Plus is happier multiplied.


9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

Would I advocate poly - no. I don't know that most people would feel comfortable going "against the grain" in ways that don't bother us so much. We have all been counter-culture in many ways for a while. Would I advise against? Also , no. We all have to find our own path in life, your path is not my path, or his path, or her path. There are pitfalls and potholes down every road. Be true to yourself. Be faithful to those you love. Be honest with those that you let into your heart.



10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!

I've probably editorialized enough in the questions above. Conversation welcome. ( in thread or PM )
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.
The ability to be in love with more than one person at a time, or the fact of being in love with more than one person at a time.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
I'm 27, French, vegetarian, straight and poly.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any?[...] Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?
Right now I have one partner, Seamus, who I consider my husband although we aren't married. I also have one interest but as he's Seamus's coworker I am not pursuing it.
I have had as much as two partners (Raga and Seamus) and an interest.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?
My ideal poly family is between people who know each other well and get along. People who are all friends even though they're not all involved with everyone.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?
I'm mostly out. I don't hide it but it doesn't always come up. I don't tell the cashier at the grocery store that I'm poly, for instance. But it's well-known in the various forums I participate, and to my friends.
I'm satisfied with it, although sometimes I wish it was written on my face so I didn't have to say it when people assume otherwise.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?
No, I think they might be better or worse for specific people, but not overall. I think there isn't a "one true way" and that everyone should find the dynamics that works best for them.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?
The best thing is the freedom to be open and happy about your feelings towards multiple people at once, and not consider it something that is wrong with you. The worst thing is being such a minority that a) you need to explain what it is constantly and b) it's harder to find partners who are okay with it.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
No. I mean, I have been happy in relationships with just one person, I am right now. But I could never stop myself from falling in love, and knowing that nothing can come out of it, ever, would destroy me.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?
I see it as a relationship orientation, so I don't think it's really something to recommend as it might not be the right thing for other people. But I certainly hope to show it's an option through practicing it openly and happily.
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

Polyamory, to me, is the ability to have more than one romantic love simultaneously. It also includes being honest about this.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

Recent college grad, bi, poly but I rarely fall in love. Happy homemaker.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

I have one partner. Keith is my husband. I have had a boyfriend-without-using-labels and a woman that I was interested in but both of us took time to take that step since being married. It didn't work out with the guy though we were highly compatible both personality wise and sexually, we were not relationship compatible. I ended up dating the female interest a few months after I had ended it with the guy which then fizzled when the dynamic changed from purely friends who have amazing sex to "being in a relationship."

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

I don't have an ideal. I really think that having expectations for something makes people miss out on great things. I would love to find additional partner(s) who could be incorporated into my household (I love big families).

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

Some of the time... I'm pretty out with new people since I no longer live in my home state. My sister kind of knows - we've never explicitly talked about it, but she spent a LOT of time with me and my ex gf and has made poly comments, so she knows. lol

I would love to be able to tell everyone, but I really don't see the point in dealing with it until/unless I have a person that I want to bring home to the family. Both my family and my husband's won't approve (at least at first), so.. Yeah. It works.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

I don't. If it works for you, it's the best way for you. I generally don't like hierarchy, but as long as it is practical hierarchy ("X is my primary because we live together and have kids. Y is my secondary because we only see each other 3 days a week.") and not emotional hierarchy ("I am married to X, so I love him more. Y is my secondary and if X ever feels threatened by my relationship with Y, I will drop Y immediately."), I think it's a great way to explain various relationship levels.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

Best - Not having to be afraid to feel natural emotions and let things progress organically.
Worst - The social stigma and the idea that many have that because someone identifies as poly he/she is looking to sleep with many people very soon.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

Yep. I rarely feel like I could fall in love with other people. I've only felt true, romantic love for 2 people in my 22 years. One was in middle/high school, the other is my husband. I've felt the "like like" feeling more often, but it rarely leads to love.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

I don't think I would necessarily recommend it unless I see signs that it would be a good fit for someone. I would definitely educate people so they can make informed choices. If I end up having a kid, he/she will definitely know that monogamy is not the only option.

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!

I have a hard time with labeling myself as poly. I know I would be/am capable of loving more than one person at a time, but I honestly don't think it is likely to ever actually occur. I like the general premise, though, so I use the label so that people who haven't heard of it will think about it. :)
 
What fun! I'm going to do this and then go off on holiday. :D

1) For me, it's about having multiple emotionally close, committed relationships with other individuals.

2) Late 30s, generally happy, very independent, a bit of an internet addict. I don't ID as poly.

3) I have I think just now 4 in my life that I would describe as partners.

I have C1 - we have a committed, non-sexual loving relationship. C1 and I have been together for 10 years and thinking about my life without him scares me. He has changed and shaped me as a person. Being with him has helped me grow and learn in ways I couldn't have imagined without him being in my life. C1 and I live together.

I have C2 - also live with him in a committed non-sexual loving relationship. Less intense and more fun than the relationship I have with C1. C2 and I share early morning joy. He makes me smile lots.

I have E - we have been close for over 20 years. It's a non-sexual loving relationship. E is vital to my well-being. She knows everything about me and still loves me. I turn to her for help any time there is a problem and she's always there. She's also fun and I adore spending time with her.

E and I have different lives now, don't spend so much time together but we still love each other and make the effort to see each other when we can. E has never met C1 or C2 and E and I do all of our socialising away from my home.

E and I were not close for a few years. My very monogamous ex was threatened by the friendship, frequently rude to E and in the end, it became easier not to see much of her. It was some time after my ex and I split that we became close again.

I have G. He and I have a loving, sexual relationship which has been going on for about 18 months. It's moved beyond friendship and is now something that I would be deeply hurt to lose. G spends lots of time with C1 and C2 and they adore him. He also spends lots of time in my home. G and E are also friendly - they've known each other for years but their lifestyles differ to an extent that means they don't often see each other. G and I are sometimes limited in the time we can spend together because of C1 and C2's importance in my life and he's very supportive of that.


4) No. I think I'd have to be in a relationship before I could tell what sort of configuration might be okay for that relationship.

5) Yes. I'm clear and open with people about how I see love, sex and romance.

6) No. It depends on the people involved.

7) I think for me, it's being free to have more than one love. And to talk about them in those terms. Worst thing by far is the lack of freedom. The more loves, the less freedom I feel I have. Taking into account the needs of my loves means less ability to just do whatever I want.

8) I can see myself happily only being sexual with one person (I am at the moment - although that may change in the future). But I couldn't ever see myself being happy only being able to have one love.

9) No. I reckon it's up to people to decide what to do themselves not for me to go around recommending my views to them. I won't have children so no real need to consider them.

Thanks for this. Interesting and helped me clarify some of my thoughts about it all.

IP
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

The state of or ability to love more than one person at a time and be completely honest about it. Usually, but not necessarily, focusing on romantic love. (You said one sentence and I did it in two. I kept it as short as possible; I'd prefer a paragraph or two.)

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

Male, straight. Late 20's. College student. When I grow up, I want to be a relationship counselor so I'm studying psychology. And yes, I do identify as poly.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

It depends on what a "partner/lover" is, exactly. As far as a "typical" girlfriend, I do not currently have one of those. My relationships have been more ambiguous as of late.

The one girl, who I have referred to as Rachael here, I met during Spring Break last year. It started out as casual sex, and we started to become friends over the week I spent with her. We've since fallen in love with each other, but we haven't made any agreements about being more than friends. It's long-distance, I haven't seen her since the week we spent together over a year ago, but we talk fairly frequently. She's making plans to visit me in a few months, which I'm happy about because I really miss her.

There's another girl where things are even less clear. I haven't talked about her before, so I haven't given her a pseudonym yet. Hmm... I'll call her "Michelle." "Romantic but not sexual" may apply, or maybe "loving but not romantic or sexual." We're still figuring that out. Her and I have mutual friends on Facebook, and she thought I seemed interesting from the comments I leave on people's posts. I met her last summer when I was in the mood for a spontaneous 9-hour drive, which she agreed to, surprisingly. I spent a few days with her and never got along with someone so well. She's not too thrilled about the polyamory thing but she's trying to be open-minded about it. She said something like "The idea appeals to me, but it's going to take a long time before I know if it's something I can do, and to get used to it."

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

I used to think a quad sounded like fun, but I've since decided that "I want to be in a quad" isn't a good enough reason to do it. I really have no preference; and prefer to let relationships form naturally than try to force them into specific formats. Hence the ambiguity in question 3.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

I'm pretty open about who I am in general. Most of my friends and family know that I'm polyamorous. Usually, I mention it when it makes sense in conversations.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

In an objective sense, no. It depends on the individuals involved and what they want for themselves. I try to find a balance between what works for me and what works for those I'm involved with.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

Best: Problems in relationships seem more evident with poly, and it's easier to identify and then deal with them. Also, poly necessitates more open communication. In my experience, it's much easier to ignore problems in mono relationships. I've had a saying recently: "With monogamy, communication is the difference between a good relationship and a bad one. With polyamory, communication is the difference between good relationships and complete fucking disaster."

Worst: Most people are mono. Also, the women I date seem to have pretty horrible taste in men (I like to think I'm the exception, but I'm not an unbiased source on the subject), and it always seems like there's an ex-boyfriend/husband, metamour, or someone with a crush trying to undermine my relationships.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

I wouldn't say it's impossible. However, if I am ever happily monogamous, it will most likely be a result of circumstance rather than a conscious decision. I like to remain open to all possibilities.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

If I think poly would suit them. It's not for everyone, but most like is for may more people than have thought about or experienced it. I'm all about helping people on the road to self-discovery.

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!

Well... um... I've got nothing.
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

For me it is the ability to love more than one (personaly for me, I can be totally satisfied with one man and one woman) without secrets, with understanding, no lying and all that..

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
I am poly, bi sexual, weird, crazy, I hate mainstream, love cats..

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?


Primary boyfriend we are about to get married and a girl.. for now he asked not to give it names, but it feels like she is my girlfriend.. touchy subject *_*

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

I have a a friend (girl) who has a husband and a girlfriend and they all live together happily ever after. wish it was like that for me..


5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

I wish I was more out, boyfriend isn't ready..

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

I really don't care.. whatever works for people..

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

Worst is my boyfriend having problems understanding, best that they all complete me..


8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

No.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

If someone asked me about it I would say go for it, if I had a kid the same as long as they are happy.
 
1) Polyamory: The ability to openly love more than one person in such a way as to validate your existing loving relationships. (ie - honest and with dignity)

2) I'm a hard working step mom and wife who enjoys many activities. I tend to gravitate to men as friends (with or without benefits) as it's less drama. I love hard and loyal and expect the same of those I let in my inner circle.

3) Currently, I have only my husband. I've yet to find a man that I wish to share that side with, as the ones I found are cheating, not in an "open" relationship. While I never judge another person, I will not allow myself to be the other woman. That would cause me too much grief and stress. When I find someone that can honestly be with me and the spark is there, who knows. In the past, I have had multiple partners at once, but that was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

4) My ideal configuration would be to find a like minded couple that both my husband and I could do things with both inside and outside the bedroom. I believe that might be a pipe dream though, so am open to whatever comes our way.

5) While I tend to hate to hide any aspect of my life; there are reasons my husband and I choose to be secretive about our lifestyle and it all revolves around our families. His youngest is 16 and still lives here, his daughter is 20 and spends a lot of time with us. Both of our families are religious (his is Catholic, mine is Baptist) and frankly I'm tired of being told how I live my life incorrectly. =)

6) In my book, Love is Love and is never wrong. As long as all parties involved are there by their design/desire and participate willingly. Your way may not work for me, my way may never work for you; but we can insist that each is free to love in the way they do it best.

7) The best thing about being poly? The ability to be honest to the one(s) who matter most. The worst? When someone finds out you are poly, they automatically assume that means you want them. Now. Or at least some do.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous? I've been happy being momogamous and I could be again.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any? This goes back to each person's individual needs and wants. I can happily support anyone in their decision in life, including my "children". As long as it's an honest choice that makes them happy.

10) For me, this isn't a lifestyle. it's who I am. I tend to be high strung and high maintenance and prefer having many individuals in my life; romantic or just friends.
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

Multiple relationships (of the option of having such) with the knowledge and consent of all involved.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

I've been involved in poly relationships since I started dating, though didn't know the title for it at the time. I've also been in monogomous relationships. Aside from that, I'm a very artsy person and dabble in a lot of crafts though my main passion is leatherwork. I'm also compassionate and very easy going, though I'm opinionated when it comes to my own life. I tend to have very strong views when it comes to what I want, though they can change rapidly as I learn more. When it comes to the outside world though, I'm willing to accept almost anything and anyone, its hard to phase me.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

I'm involved with three people at the moment. My fiance Andrew and I have been together for almost five years, and just recently got engaged and bought a house. He is monogomous, but has always been alright with me engaging in poly relationships despite his lack of interest in dating other people. My second partner, Lady, is an older individual who I was originally involved with in just a D/s sense, and who grew to be my lover, partner, and best friend. She (and I say that loosely because she is actually a 36 year old male) has become very close with Andrew, and the three of us are a very tight knit family. We have lived together for a while and plan to continue to do so for the rest of our lives. My third partner Nova is my submissive in the D/s sense, and has been part of our group for a few months now. He is also involved with Lady, and is moving in with us shortly as we move to our new house. This is his first experience in polyamory although he has fallen in love with the lifestyle and done wonderfully with it. He meshes well as a member of our family, and our relationships with him will hopefully be lifetime ones, although we have an enduring friendship on top of that.

I have had more partners at times in the past, which has sometimes worked and sometimes been more difficult. Right now our situation is very easy because we spend the majority of our time as a family group and enjoy eachothers company immensely.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

What I have now works wonderfully. My ideal is based around having a family like group that spends a lot of time together, with the option of a few casual outside relationships. For many reasons though, we prefer all of our partners to be close. It minimizes worries about sexual safety, and certainly makes drama and jealousy in our group virtually non-existant.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

My family knows, as does the families of my partners. Anyone who meets me and all my friends are also well aware. I'm content this way and wouldn't change anything. I would hate to have to hide anything, especially since I pride myself in being a very bluntly honest person.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

I think what matters is what works for that person or group. I've seen a lot of certain types of relationships fail, but I don't think it means that relationship is bad, just that it may be less suited to most people. I think what matters is finding what works for you, which could be one or many things.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

I love having a supportive loving family group. I love not having to suppress my emotions. I can't think of anything I find negative about how my poly group is working. I think in general though the worst thing about poly is people having too many preconceived notions about how to do it, and not exploring what works for them. A lot of relationships fail because people don't explore all their emotions, or all the options they have.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

That would mean losing two out of the three amazing people in my life, so no, not at this point. In general, I doubt it. If I met one person I enjoyed spending time with and being with and then never met another I felt that way about, sure. But I love easily and get close to people easily, so that just isn't probable.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

Definitely. I would recommend people explore any and all relationship options or at least consider them. If I had children I would raise them to believe that they should be with as many people as works for them, the same way I would raise them to be comfortable in whatever sexuality they were, or to choose whatever spiritually worked for them, etc.

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!

I wonder how common a group like mine is honestly. One where everyone functions as a family unit regardless of who is dating who. And where there really isn't and hasn't ever been any drama or jealousy between us.
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.
I think of it as ethical non-monogamy where it's understood that it's OK to be in love with multiple people.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
Hrm, I'm a female heading into the big 4-0 soon (which seems pretty important to me at the moment), the last couple of years I've started a lot of hobbies that involve making stuff which has been fulfilling and had the benefit of keeping me busy when my husband is off on a date ;)
I ID as poly by choice and preference, not because I spent my life feeling it was my orientation or an innate part of my identity.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?
I have two partners. My husband Adam has been poly for over 25 years now. We started dating when I was married/poly and after 6 months my husband and I separated due to an affair. I asked Adam not to date any new people for 3 months so I could find my feet emotionally. Somehow it turned into a 5 year stretch of monogamy which was not what I'd ever envisioned or wanted, and it did take a couple years of pushing to become poly again for it to happen.
I've dated Brian for a bit over a year now. We see each other weekly, and he's important to me in a romantic & sexual way.
They met once briefly before I became sexually involved with Brian, that's the only time they've talked by their choice, they're busy guys.
I've never been involved with more than two people, a few dates here and there, but nothing that developed into anything.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?
I don't have an ideal configuration. I'd like another person in my life, somebody who clicks with me as a great friend, maybe shares some hobbies with me, and who is more involved in my life & vice versa than the compartmentalized relationship I have with Brian - I've met his partners but we don't spend time as a group, or with his & his wife's group of friends. I'm not even sure if I'd prefer that person to be FWB or romanticFWB, I just know I really would like more friends, and I'd like more benefits, and time is finite.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?
I'm out most of the time, my family and friends know. I don't have an employer, Adam is open about it at work. Only time I was frustrated about not being able to be out was that Adam has some religious/republican cousins who are our "friends" on FB and I felt awkwardly unable to post links about poly, though Adam wouldn't have minded.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?
I don't think anything is better or worse as long as the people in the relationships are on the same page. I was surprised to find that Adam is a bit more hierarchical in his thinking than I am - we aren't so far off that I think it will ever cause a problem, but I can see how more of a disparity could cause issues.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?
The best things about poly to me is having a way to get some important desires met more than they were monogamously (sex), and as a shy introvert, it has been a reason to put myself out there to meet new people for friendship and dating. My husband is very social and he can find other people to be with who are extroverts.
The worst things - poor communication and lack of self knowledge (in any partner I've ever been serious about) can lead to misunderstandings & arguments, which tend to generate fear in me, and worries that a partner is going to hurt or betray me. Time management is a bitch.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
I'd think so. On one hand the primary reason I am poly now is because of the vastly different sex drives in my marriage, but there are a lot more benefits than just being able to date somebody who shares an enthusiasm for sex. However I couldn't be happily monogamous with my husband unless his desire for regular sex increased.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?
You know, I don't recall the last time I was close enough to a non poly person with a healthy stable relationship where poly would be a positive for them. I'd talk about the pros and cons for me, but I wouldn't try to encourage them either way. I'm not having kids, but if I did I'd educate them about all the options and let them know they had choices.

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!
I'm spending a lot of time thinking about polysaturation and wondering what other people do about it or to prevent it. I am struggling to reconcile the desire to find another partner who is more of a BFF/lover with the fact that I often feel stretched too thin and have trouble making time for my existing friends, family and hobbies.
 
1) Polyamory is openness to developing more than one romantic connection, and being open for one's loves to do the same.

2) I think a lot, enjoy writing about what I'm thinking, I get enthusiastic about things. I care more than feels good in this world. I enjoy having my space, which allows me to enjoy intimacy.

3) I have two partners. I have been in a relationship with Mya for a bit over a year. She is a wonderfully intelligent and interesting person with lots of love. At the moment she lives with her partner JJ in another country, but we see each other when we can, usually once a month. We are present in each other's everyday lives via skype, and we talk a lot.

I live with Alec, with whom I have a loving, comfortable relationship. We have been together for eight years. He enjoys music and gaming, and we watch our favourite shows together over and over. We live independent lives, with varying amounts of our days spent together as we feel like it. I feel poly has helped me to appreciate him as a person, and all the ways in which our relationship enriches my life, without focusing on our differences.

My partners have a friendly relationship with each other, and we often share space when Mya visits. I see JJ a bit less, but I do visit them at times as well, and I am comfortable around him, he is a nice guy. Mostly my relationships with my partners are separate, and I am satisfied with that.

4) I don't have an ideal poly configuration. I wish to have lovely people in my life, in whatever type of relationships that suit us and our lives. I do love the balance of independence and commitment, time for myself and time with my loves, that I have in my life with my ongoing relationships. I need that balance, and I like the stability. This makes me feel quite polysaturated in terms of involved partnerships. Yet, I am open to persons who may come along and seeing what I want in the actual situation.

5) I am mostly out, and largely satisfied with my level of outness. All people who are close to me know, and I wouldn't have it any other way. In my everyday life I don't have many instances where I feel closeted. There are people who are less involved in my life, but whom I still consider my people, and I haven't had a chance to tell all of them yet. If I could change something it is not my personal circumstances but the cultural monogamy-assumption.

6) I think, in the end, all relationship configurations can be done in healthy ways and in unhealthy ways. I think monogamy has special risks because it is the norm (e.g. persons better suited for open do monogamy because they don't know about the alternatives). I think poly has different kinds of risks because it is against the norm (e.g. lack of support outside poly circles). I think hierarchy can be used in cruel ways (e.g. you two have to break up because I am no longer seeing my secondary and don't feel like spending time home alone; and this is justified because you agreed to veto when we started this poly thing three years ago). But it doesn't have to be used in those kinds of ways, and also cruel things can happen in a non-hierarchical structure.

7) I have gotten so much from poly. I have amazing relationships, and I enjoy all the intimacy they bring to my life. I enjoy letting connections form freely without trying to control emotions. I am extremely happy about all the reading about personal boundaries I have stumbled across after becoming poly, since working on those has made me infinitely more satisfied in my life. The worst parts, I'd say the cultural condemnation which can lead to not being accepted by those who are close to you.

8) I could probably be happily monogamous at some different situation, sure. Right now I feel that I am way happier poly, and I wouldn't give that up.

9) I might recommend considering poly as an option for anybody who felt inclined, including my hypothetical children.
 
Haven't read anyone else's responses as yet.

1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

The ability and willingness to form romantic/sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

23-y-o bisexual multiethnic female living her dream life. Political, energetic, critical, a passionate believer and lover. Loves multiple people.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

Vanilla is my fiancee and my lifepartner. Together for one year. 20-y-o bisexual female.

Sweetheart is my extremely long distance lover-friend (thank you, SourGirl!). Mutual infatuation for over a year. Married, wife not poly, over 40s straight male. Has seen Vanilla and communicated a bit, never met.

Fudge, a lover-friend, extremely long distance. A caring, loving, part-time relationship for over two years. Single, over 30s straight male. Knows who Vanilla is, never met.

My record in multiple partnerships has been four in last late spring/early summer. Vanilla, Sweetheart, MoonlightRunner, Windflower.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

I would ideally have one to two lifepartners, one to two lovepartners (not live-in, that is) and one to two lover-friends. Genders irrelevant, while I prefer women. Don't know enough trans/genderqueer people to be sure but def open to exploring that.

I'm very open to group relationships having more than two partners at the same time but haven't had success with those so far and it's not a priority of mine anymore.

Would consider temporary polyfi with the right people, but it's not my natural preference.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

Yes.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

Consensual relationships between adults are all fine by me.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

Having a natural way to channel and express my emotions. Sharing joy, love and happiness. Hope for the future. Feeling the freedom to meet each new person as an unique individual with no pressure to fit our relationship into a particular mould.

Poly as such is not stressful, but dealing with self-esteem issues and pre-existing medical conditions on top of poly is.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

Yes, with my current lifepartner. But only physically monogamous - I don't believe I am capable of emotional monogamy.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

Yes.
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.The ability and freedom to create relationships with people in ways that are natural for that relationship, and that are not constrained by any artificial rules or expectations.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly. 33, sexually bi but so far romantically straight, goofy, childlike, loves to read, loves to travel, loves children (I'm a teacher/director of a childcare center), polyamourish :) (I'm still feeling my way around, learning and exploring and figuring out what it all means in a practical sense)

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now? Fly is my boyfriend of a little more than 6 years. We've lived together for 4 of those years, and he was my first real relationship and the deflowerer of my virginity. We started off as an open relationship from the very beginning because he had recently decided that he is a nonmonogamous person. He is still an "open" person rather than "poly," since his relationships are primarily sex-based and generally relatively short term. We're raising his 8-yo son together.

Punk is a man I met on OKCupid about 7 months ago. He's married with a child, and his wife is also poly and into BDSM (he is not). We've settled into a comfortable once-a-week routine where we either go out for a date, or we hang out at his house on a night when his wife is out. We're both addicted to food network ("Chopped" in particular), and really enjoy hanging out, cuddling, sex, etc. He's a lovely mix of giddy-shiny-new and I-feel-like-I've-known-him-for-forever.

I have met his wife a couple times (including one double date with one of her BFs), and Punk has met Fly a couple times when he's come to pick me up. This was HUGE, because previously Fly had told me that he didn't want to hear about my relationships, didn't want to meet anyone...so this was a big step and everyone came through it beautifully. :) Fly even asked me to invite Punk and his family to our recent earth day party, which I was amazed and appreciative of.

The only time I had more partners than this was when I was dating the BF, a couple, and had a "fuck-buddy" as well.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)? Not really. I wish I had a partner who lived closer than Punk, so that time together could be a little more spontaneous and we could be more present in each other's daily lives. However, I have no desire to live with anyone other than Fly. I'm not good with sharing living space in general :rolleyes:

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness? Totally out. I don't flaunt it, I'm not trying to use my life as a tool for social reform or activism, but anyone who knows me even casually ends up getting the gist of it. I also occasionally volunteer info to random strangers - hairdressers, the lady who owns my favorite boutique, that kind of thing. My family knows that we're nonmonogamous, although they can't quite wrap their heads around poly. But they love me, and are kind, beautiful people who support whatever I do.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why? As long as it works for the people in it and no one is getting hurt or squelched or coerced, I think they're all just fine.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?
Best is being able to express love and affection freely, without worrying about whether it's appropriate or not. Having more people to love brings more joy into my life! Worst would be time resources, and concerns that I'm not spreading my time out well to meet my partners' and my own needs.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous? Sure. I think I'm happier poly, but I wouldn't necessarily be *un*happy monogamous in the right relationship. I don't really lean radically to either side, I'm kind of in the middle of the mono/poly spectrum.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any? Totally! I believe there are a lot of people out there who are unsuccessful in relationships because they're poly people trying to live a mono life. I wish more people felt like they had options other than the chick-flick gospel, whether that means poly, open, celibate, whatever.
 
Came up with this today after asking myself what I would be personally interested in thinking/writing about:

1) Define "polyamory" : Being open to love/romance as it comes and goes, without the standard monogamous restriction placed that if you are already involved with someone, you should not become involved with someone new.

2) snapshot of yourself. - 34/m/ca, came into poly around 23. Realized I loved many past gfs still as well as excited about possible future romances.

3) Current partners/lovers- none. I was at one time with 3 women romantically which is the most I have seen at once.

4) "ideal" poly configuration? An understanding with the loves in my life that no matter where or when we are, our love is open and ready for each other.

5) Are you out all the time? I am always open about my feelings but there are times when I feel more focused on one person.

6) Is poly or mono or other "better"? Whatever works for the individuals involved. I feel poly is a philosophy which best reflects the ideals of unconditional and infinite love.

7) Best about poly: Having an open heart and the rewards of loving.
Worst: dealing with mono people, mostly based on feelings of rejection (of them and myself).

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous? No.

9) Would you recommend poly? to kids? - absolutely and absolutely.
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

Polyamory is the state of being in two or more affectionate sexual relationships at the same time, with the knowledge and (at least tacit) agreement of everyone involved.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

I am a married man who decided, after the children have been raised to adulthood, to admit to his polyamorous tendencies (wishes?) to his wife. She
turned out to be extremely supportive, and has even shown a possible interest in experimenting with polyamory herself.


I cannot as yet identify myself fully as poly, because I do not have a second relationship. It is one thing to wish for something, it is another to practice it.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

I have only one partner at present: my wife. My marriage is happy and there are no particular problems with it, aside from the inevitable small sources of friction that are present in any relationship between people sharing their life together. I have never had more than one partner at the same time, although in my dating days I occasionally went out with more than one woman during the same period.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

An ideal poly configuration for me would be to have two (or more?) partners who (1) enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed theirs, (2) who were on friendly terms with each other, and (3) who made no demands on me that I would find difficult or impossible to fulfill. The primary (with my wife) / secondary (with someone else) model would be certainly acceptable to me, but I can imagine other configurations that could work, as long as all participants found them satisfactory.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

I have not disclosed my interest in polyamory to anyone but my wife and people I have met in the polyamory community. I have no particular desire to “out” myself any more for the time being.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, hierarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

I do not think that we can separate the concept of relationships from the nature of the people participating in them.

Some people, maybe the majority in western society, are so attached to the security involved in (somewhat idealized) mono relationships that they cannot imagine for themselves any relationship except for a monogamous one. For such people, monogamy is not only the inherently best relationship model, it is pretty much the only one.

At the other extreme, there are people who simply cannot imagine being so attached to one person that they would never be ready to embark on a sexual adventure with someone else. For such people (and their partners, mono or poly) polyamory is the best solution, because other avenues would involve lying, deception and unwanted (or unnecessary) break-ups.

For people like me (somewhere in the middle), polyamory makes it possible to entertain the idea of extra-marital adventures without endangering their marriage. Whether I would actually enter such relationships depends on many factors, but at least I know that the possibility exists and therefore I am not a “prisoner” of my marriage.

As for hierarchical versus egalitarian, I have an open mind. If I was single, I could go either way. Being solidly married, however, I can imagine a primary-secondary situation much more easily than an egalitarian one.


7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

To me, the best thing about possible polyamorous relationships would be the opening up of new affectionate/sentimental/sexual relationships. The good life, in my view, is the continuous interweaving of old and new experiences. If I denied the possibility of new experiences, I would start thinking that I am on a downward spiral to old age.

The worst thing about the idea of polyamory is the danger it represents to my existing relationships with my wife and children. Even under the best circumstances, experimentation with new relationships can lead to damage to old ones, and since my old ones are pretty good, why risk them for something unknown?


8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

I am happily monogamous. But I can see myself as happily poly as well.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

I do not like to advise people about major life changes, because I am not in their shoes. But if I saw someone in a difficult / painful situation that might be improved if they (or their partner) considered polyamory, I would probably tell them about the polyamory movement, and might even tell them about my involvement in it.

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!

Polyamory is a great idea - whether I can ever practice it remains to be seen.

However, if we want to improve on the present, rather lamentable, state of relationships in the western world, we should explore some other topics in addition to polyamory. We should look at the price (monetary or otherwise) people are expected to pay for sexual relationships in general. We should look at how we can provide for a safe and supportive environment for children to grow up in. And we should look at why people look for so much psychological support from their relationships, rather than look to themselves for psychological healing.

But all this is for another thread. Meanwhile, thanks to the people who designed this particular quiz.
 
Fun intro post!

1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.
Intimately (not necessarily sexually intimate; however, I do mean physically intimate, e.g. hugging, hand-holding, cuddling) loving more than one person.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
Married, poly-curious, mom of two kids, career student.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any?[...] Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?
I have one partner, my husband. We would like to become physically (perhaps sexually) intimate with my former lover, who happens to be my husband's best friend.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?
At this point, Husband and I are still working out what we want. I'm not opposed to physical (non-sexual) affection with a woman, while he is bi-curious.

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?
Not yet applicable.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?
No. I make no judgments past whether or not it would be right for me when it comes to how others live and love.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?
The current appeal is to enjoy the same affectionate freedoms I have with women with a man that is not my husband.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
I am currently very happily monogamous (sexually), so yes.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?
Recommend? I don't know. See #6.

I'm cautious about my children and unsure of how much to share. As we are not yet there, it isn't much of a concern.
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.
loving or caring for more than one person

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.
I am a poly, pansexual swinger

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

I have four.

G is a bf of nine years, we have three children and we are devoted to each other and we are getting married later this year

J is my gf, she is beautiful, classy, sexy and my best friend and my lover

B is my bf, he is a bit a nerd lol, very sweet and loving

A is a my reg play mate and he is married and I am best friends with his wife :)

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

I do, we have had a few problems but we are getting to a happy place in our life's

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

I do wish that I could tell the world because I am so happy, I have only told my ex friend and my bf have told a few friends but none of our family know...

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

I think it just depends on what is good for the person in question

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

never being alone, always having someone there for you no matter what and getting different things from each person.

finding time and hearing the people you love fighting and falling apart :(

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?
I did for eight years and I could do it again and I would be very happy

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

poly is not for everyone so it would depend on the person
I would tell my children when the time was right and I am very careful with my lovers and spending time with them with my children there...

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers![/QUOTE]
 
1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

Loving or caring deeply for more than one person

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

I am a poly straight married 38 yo mother of 3 boys. I work in veterinary medicine.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

I have been married to D my husband for 11yrs. We live together and have 3 human kids, 3 dogs, a cat, and a fish. D is mono but is the one who put two and two together and figured out that I am poly and has given me the freedom to have other partners. He is kinky and cuckold life style appeals to him. My bf is M... we have been seeing each other for 2 months. Things are developing into a deeper romantic relationship from a more sexual one. After the initial getting used to the idea of my situation he is relaxing and enjoying things. He was worried at first that he would come second. But neither D or M come second to anyone. I balance both pretty well especially since they are very different men. Both men know of each other but have no contact.

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

I like my vee. I keep my relationships separate but equal

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

I am in the closet... except with very close friends. It is hard. I wish I could be more out.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

I don't feel any type of relationship is better than another. As long as it is working for the parties involved then it is a perfect relationship

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

I enjoy the love of two very different men. The worse thing is having to hide my relationship with M from coworkers and close minded family. He makes me just as happy as D.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

My marriage was monogamous for over 9 years. I was missing something the last 5. My husband is an awesome man but unfortunately can not be everything I need. I don't think any one man can be. Hence why I flitted from one relationship to another in my dating life before D.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

Depends on the person. It can be a hard road to travel.
 
Back
Top