OneBigThistle
New member
First off, the story! I know its already in the introduction post I made, but I will be more detailed here:
Me and my boyfriend of three and a half years had considered on several occasions adding a third party to our relationship. We didn't really know much about polyamory, other than its basic definition, and we didn't feel like we were missing anything in our relationship. We just felt like we had enough love to keep on sharing, and it would be nice to receive more too. We've had lots of people come and go as very close friends but until recently never had anyone who we [both] felt a bond with strong enough to let into our relationship.
That all changed when our best friend posed the question to us "Why isn't three way marriage legal? I'd love to marry you two some day.", and we discovered she was the perfect fit for our relationship. She already planned to move in with us when we have a place together. We already know her interests, her kinks, her insecurities. She already knows ours. She was basically our girlfriend without the title already. Now its official, she is our girlfriend and we couldn't be happier.
Unfortunately our relationship is a triangle of distance. I live in Ontario Canada, my girlfriend lives in New York USA, and our boyfriend lives in Tennessee USA. All three of us have dealt with long distance before, but with two people it is much easier to plan physical contact than with three. We worry about being able to align both schedules and budgets. Still, we have an end goal of two to three years to get all of us under one roof. We've moved to talking about the future fast! The topic brought up some questions:
- We know it is not legally okay for the three of us to be legally married, but is it legally okay to have a ceremony and rings for the three of us? Does the okayness or lack there of change based on if we live together?
- Which states tend to be most open to Polyamory on a social scale? With two out of three of us moving, its not a stretch for everyone to find a new location.
-How do we come out to parents? For me proudly showing off my relationship means dropping huge amounts of information on them "I'm pansexual" "I'm polyamourus" "My girlfriend is transgender", are all statements that would be taken from the act. For them, my girlfriend has already been verbally abused for being trans without the addition of an alternative relationship style, and my boyfriend grew up with a strict southern father. Is it safe to come out?
- Is there a place we can go where our rights will be protected? For example where we can't be discriminated against in the work place by means of 'moral clauses'?
I know these are a lot of questions, but I'm very fresh meat! XD I'd have had much more if I hadn't already been browsing the forums and reading the resources, but I apologize if I missed something and asked a question that has already been answered. Also if anyone has any general tips, tricks, pointers, or words of advice that might be unique to this style situation, please let me know.
Me and my boyfriend of three and a half years had considered on several occasions adding a third party to our relationship. We didn't really know much about polyamory, other than its basic definition, and we didn't feel like we were missing anything in our relationship. We just felt like we had enough love to keep on sharing, and it would be nice to receive more too. We've had lots of people come and go as very close friends but until recently never had anyone who we [both] felt a bond with strong enough to let into our relationship.
That all changed when our best friend posed the question to us "Why isn't three way marriage legal? I'd love to marry you two some day.", and we discovered she was the perfect fit for our relationship. She already planned to move in with us when we have a place together. We already know her interests, her kinks, her insecurities. She already knows ours. She was basically our girlfriend without the title already. Now its official, she is our girlfriend and we couldn't be happier.
Unfortunately our relationship is a triangle of distance. I live in Ontario Canada, my girlfriend lives in New York USA, and our boyfriend lives in Tennessee USA. All three of us have dealt with long distance before, but with two people it is much easier to plan physical contact than with three. We worry about being able to align both schedules and budgets. Still, we have an end goal of two to three years to get all of us under one roof. We've moved to talking about the future fast! The topic brought up some questions:
- We know it is not legally okay for the three of us to be legally married, but is it legally okay to have a ceremony and rings for the three of us? Does the okayness or lack there of change based on if we live together?
- Which states tend to be most open to Polyamory on a social scale? With two out of three of us moving, its not a stretch for everyone to find a new location.
-How do we come out to parents? For me proudly showing off my relationship means dropping huge amounts of information on them "I'm pansexual" "I'm polyamourus" "My girlfriend is transgender", are all statements that would be taken from the act. For them, my girlfriend has already been verbally abused for being trans without the addition of an alternative relationship style, and my boyfriend grew up with a strict southern father. Is it safe to come out?
- Is there a place we can go where our rights will be protected? For example where we can't be discriminated against in the work place by means of 'moral clauses'?
I know these are a lot of questions, but I'm very fresh meat! XD I'd have had much more if I hadn't already been browsing the forums and reading the resources, but I apologize if I missed something and asked a question that has already been answered. Also if anyone has any general tips, tricks, pointers, or words of advice that might be unique to this style situation, please let me know.