I've already found so many answers in a similar thread http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=448&highlight=single Thanks to Ceoli for giving a voice to the unheard singles in the community. I wanted to start my own thread just to focus on one particular aspect of the linked thread. (It covers a lot.)
I see two main schools of thought on how a polyamorous relationship is started. Either you
1. Are a couple and become open.
2. You find a couple that has become open.
My question is: how does a poly single go directly into an open relationship without joining a couple first, or being part of a monogamous couple first?
The recurring answer seems to be "you need to love someone first" and "multiple loves is not the same as multiple lovers." But I want to know if anyone here has experienced or witnessed cases where two singles have started a relationship as an open one. I want to know if it is possible to skip the monogamous step without being called a swinger.
Maybe I am just young and naive, but it seems counter-intuitive to hide what I am at first to form a relationship and go through all the mushy couple stuff, only to risk it later on by saying, "Oh by the way, I'm poly!" For me, that part comes right after I introduce myself.
I see two main schools of thought on how a polyamorous relationship is started. Either you
1. Are a couple and become open.
2. You find a couple that has become open.
My question is: how does a poly single go directly into an open relationship without joining a couple first, or being part of a monogamous couple first?
The recurring answer seems to be "you need to love someone first" and "multiple loves is not the same as multiple lovers." But I want to know if anyone here has experienced or witnessed cases where two singles have started a relationship as an open one. I want to know if it is possible to skip the monogamous step without being called a swinger.
Maybe I am just young and naive, but it seems counter-intuitive to hide what I am at first to form a relationship and go through all the mushy couple stuff, only to risk it later on by saying, "Oh by the way, I'm poly!" For me, that part comes right after I introduce myself.