mrspolyamorous
New member
It's difficult for some STIs to live in a vaginal cuff as they do their survival and damage is mostly done to the cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes such as PID, Chlamydia and other infections and bacteria like that. My risk for those types of problems are lower than a person who does have a cervix, uterus and tubes. I have a vaginal cuff with no area for some of those things to latch onto and do their damage. Does this make me invincible, not in the least.
This is statistical mathematical risk taking. Some things cause the numbers to rise against them or work in their favor. Let's not derail an entire topic on STIs. But, I see the point you are trying to make. I use condoms and I get tested like I should if i am going to be in a non-mono situation.
But for someone else who carries the risk of getting pregnant by a married man (even with condom use) and other issues that could be far more damaging to take that sort of risk, well, that woman also has more to consider than I do. That was simply the point I was trying to make. Weighing heavily the options and which risks are worth it.
Also, as mentioned earlier. I wouldn't dream of cheating on my spouse, not the one I have. He is quite open, honest and communicative. I am treated well. He would admit to feeling the same way. So it's not something I worry myself about.
And as for counseling that others should do, sure, that's ideal too. I wouldn't be afraid of talking to a counselor but I know there are people like my Dad who will not approve of my mom seeing a counselor or them seeing one together. It is against all of his beliefs he was raised with to keep problems under the rug. It's also against the type of religious belief he has that God will provide you with the answers and if he doesn't then he will grant you the "grace" to get through it. My mom is seeing a therapist without his knowledge just to deal with her issues because she knows she needs to do it. I will be discreet about that information between my parents also. So there are spouses that wouldn't dream of going to share their problems with a 3rd person. And the problems will just continue to exist. If i happen to choose to be with a person who is with someone who refuses to get help or even acknowledge their pre-existing issues, that is my business. If i fall out of respect with some people for knowing this, so be it.
But I know there are a handful that are not burdened constantly with the feelings of others the same way that you might be compelled to do so. Maybe our conscience is tuned a little differently. Where as something like not putting your basket in the receptacle in the parking lot at the store would be grounds for me to examine a person because maybe they will be cutting a lot of corners in our relationship when no one is looking. Right? The truth is we all have something we won't tolerate or stand for at all. I happen to not be on the same page as some of you about it.
And as for the wife of the guy I was talking to who wanted to pair up with me and my husband or me at the very least with her alone or with her and her husband, well she would not consider my talking to her husband about sexual fantasies on their facebook to have been cheating. It was a red flag for her to bring up with her husband since he was living on the couch at that point due to existing circumstances. He was promptly allowed back in their bed after a long talk about both of their feelings about where their marriage was going. I didn't set out to do that. It managed to work out that way. I stepped out of the picture once I saw their motivation to work things out. I don't need her husband in my life to be happy. But we connected on a level that would be considered cheating to some sure.
This is statistical mathematical risk taking. Some things cause the numbers to rise against them or work in their favor. Let's not derail an entire topic on STIs. But, I see the point you are trying to make. I use condoms and I get tested like I should if i am going to be in a non-mono situation.
But for someone else who carries the risk of getting pregnant by a married man (even with condom use) and other issues that could be far more damaging to take that sort of risk, well, that woman also has more to consider than I do. That was simply the point I was trying to make. Weighing heavily the options and which risks are worth it.
Also, as mentioned earlier. I wouldn't dream of cheating on my spouse, not the one I have. He is quite open, honest and communicative. I am treated well. He would admit to feeling the same way. So it's not something I worry myself about.
And as for counseling that others should do, sure, that's ideal too. I wouldn't be afraid of talking to a counselor but I know there are people like my Dad who will not approve of my mom seeing a counselor or them seeing one together. It is against all of his beliefs he was raised with to keep problems under the rug. It's also against the type of religious belief he has that God will provide you with the answers and if he doesn't then he will grant you the "grace" to get through it. My mom is seeing a therapist without his knowledge just to deal with her issues because she knows she needs to do it. I will be discreet about that information between my parents also. So there are spouses that wouldn't dream of going to share their problems with a 3rd person. And the problems will just continue to exist. If i happen to choose to be with a person who is with someone who refuses to get help or even acknowledge their pre-existing issues, that is my business. If i fall out of respect with some people for knowing this, so be it.
But I know there are a handful that are not burdened constantly with the feelings of others the same way that you might be compelled to do so. Maybe our conscience is tuned a little differently. Where as something like not putting your basket in the receptacle in the parking lot at the store would be grounds for me to examine a person because maybe they will be cutting a lot of corners in our relationship when no one is looking. Right? The truth is we all have something we won't tolerate or stand for at all. I happen to not be on the same page as some of you about it.
And as for the wife of the guy I was talking to who wanted to pair up with me and my husband or me at the very least with her alone or with her and her husband, well she would not consider my talking to her husband about sexual fantasies on their facebook to have been cheating. It was a red flag for her to bring up with her husband since he was living on the couch at that point due to existing circumstances. He was promptly allowed back in their bed after a long talk about both of their feelings about where their marriage was going. I didn't set out to do that. It managed to work out that way. I stepped out of the picture once I saw their motivation to work things out. I don't need her husband in my life to be happy. But we connected on a level that would be considered cheating to some sure.
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