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  #131  
Old 11-09-2018, 08:08 PM
Evie Evie is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New Zealand
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Everything is falling into place just at the moment.

I've accepted the job. My exams weren't abysmal, I'm sure I've passed (and that's all I care about). The rent at the staff accommodation is only $200 a week including power and phone/internet (that's really cheap, btw) and we have found a flatmate for our other house, so money won't be a problem over Summer (my job starts on the 28th of January and it will take some time to get paid because the national payroll are notoriously slow.)

Things are going well with Lance. I don't know quite what's happening with Jen, but it's not much. He's determined to move here, and soon. Just waiting for his house to sell. I've removed Jen as his other gf from my signature because until I hear otherwise, I don't see her as someone he'll share significant time with for the foreseeable future. Admittedly, he hasn't extracted himself fully, and they've both been off Fet for about 5 months now - which is a shame because he used to love posting his poetry - it's how we met; I loved something he wrote, he messaged me saying thanks for the love, and the conversations started from there. I'd love to add him to my relationships on Fet since those are the friends of mine we'll hang out most with here, but all in good time.

Yes, part of me is still wary. I've had another man once want to move countries for me and that never happened. But I'm not going to sabotage this through pessimism. And as much as I want him here with me, even more I want him to be happy; truly, deeply, passionately in love with his life and being able to direct it for himself wherever it takes him. I hope that brings him here, ideally for a lovely long time. Hell, Adam has even suggested that we move to England to help facilitate my relationship with Lance, but I need to complete by scholarship bonding here first - and after all I have my dream early career job first up!

And my next CT scan tomorrow. Let's hope that doesn't *&^% everything.
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Me (Evie): 40F
Adam: 49M, husband, nesting partner, best friend
Lance: 46M, OSO, UK based

My NZ friends of varying intimacies: Chalk, Cheese, Tech, Siege, Golf, Mike, Shakespeare.
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  #132  
Old 11-11-2018, 10:22 PM
Evie Evie is offline
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Well, I guess it's my turn to overthink things.

I love the conversations I have with Lance. We're talking a lot about when he gets here, how he wants to stay longer than his initial visa free trip will allow, the sightseeing, meeting my friends, daily living stuff - basically lots of happy plans. And today I said that once he arrives I'd like to be able to acknowledge our relationship on Fet. He balked. He's currently got Jen listed as a relationship, and we all know she's not poly-friendly. I suspect her happy place would be if I ceased to exist in his life. I don't know their current level of engagement, except that they are still in touch. I guess it's a little more than that if there will be a problem with updating the relationship status. Yes, it's only a word on a page on the internet, but his reaction makes me nervous that all those happy plans are not going to eventuate. Which is ridiculous, totally absurd. I have known Lance for quite a while now and I have never seen anything deceptive in him at all.

I've clearly invested too much hope into this, but I'm afraid if I shut it down then I'll also create a distance that will result in a self-fulfilling prophecy.
__________________
Me (Evie): 40F
Adam: 49M, husband, nesting partner, best friend
Lance: 46M, OSO, UK based

My NZ friends of varying intimacies: Chalk, Cheese, Tech, Siege, Golf, Mike, Shakespeare.
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  #133  
Old 11-14-2018, 03:38 AM
Evie Evie is offline
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Today my head is in an entirely different place.

I'm restless. I'm craving some time (and budget) back in the city. I want the decadence of a weekend of theatre, cocktails, incredible food, a magnificent hotel room etc. etc.

No, I don't have a couple of grand to spend on a weekend; I'm just a little jaded by small town living right at the moment where there's nothing like that worth spending money on. Everything is going so incredibly right I'd just like an indulgence. Having just done the budget projections until July (it's a spreadsheet, it's easy) I cannot foresee this happening this year, not unless something drastic changes in a positive way. But life will be a little easier, regardless, once my job starts at the end of January. And anything that Adam earns next year will be the "play" money so I'll really be pushing him to find a job once we move. It seems a long way off right now, but I'm sure it will fly by. I'm not sure when Lance will get here, nor's he right now, but I want to have some of my own savings to be able to go enjoy some sight seeing etc. with him.

Adam and I are going out for fancy pizza tonight because my last assignment grade came back with 100%. That leaves me with an A+ for overall final grade for the paper, which is obviously delightful, and now there's just a two week wait for the exam results. My next assignment is due the following day, so it's still really full steam ahead.
__________________
Me (Evie): 40F
Adam: 49M, husband, nesting partner, best friend
Lance: 46M, OSO, UK based

My NZ friends of varying intimacies: Chalk, Cheese, Tech, Siege, Golf, Mike, Shakespeare.
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  #134  
Old Yesterday, 11:39 PM
Evie Evie is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: New Zealand
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Adam and I did have a night away, about $400 worth of it, but it was wonderful. Fancy pizza was great, and so were the following cocktails, and we just decided to get a motel and stay there the night. It was perfect and I felt so relaxed and revitalised the next day.

I spoke with Lance this morning, too. He assured me that he is unwavering in his plans to move here and he's reasonably sure he will come straight here as well. I'd love him to move in here (the house in my current small town) as Adam and I will be moving into the staff accommodation in my work town next year. It really just is a bit of a waiting game right now for his house to sell. But that's ok, the longer he takes, the more I'll have saved for a bit of fun when he arrives. Since I keep telling myself 6 months, that currently means he'll arrive for winter, and that's a little unfortunate. But he's very keen on being here for next Xmas and experiencing a summertime one.

This Xmas, Adam and I are going to visit his mother at the family property, but there's still a lot to do before then. Including my next damn assignments. Ugh. By now I know I've got this, I'm not going to fail, but goddamn I'm over being assessed.
__________________
Me (Evie): 40F
Adam: 49M, husband, nesting partner, best friend
Lance: 46M, OSO, UK based

My NZ friends of varying intimacies: Chalk, Cheese, Tech, Siege, Golf, Mike, Shakespeare.
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  #135  
Old Today, 01:07 AM
Tinwen Tinwen is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evie View Post
goddamn I'm over being assessed.
Feel you on that
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