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  #1  
Old 10-09-2016, 08:20 PM
redfriend redfriend is offline
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Default Late to the game poly seeking stimulation

Hi,
Iím a divorced woman in her mid-40ís. Iíve always had multiple relationships and struggled with why until a few years ago when a married man told me about polyamory and I realized that was for me. Iíd love to have people to discuss this with and explore my feelings, especially in areas like coming out to friends, meeting others, and feeling too old to start now. I'd really love to stimulate my intellect with like minded experienced folks who are on the same journey.
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  #2  
Old 10-09-2016, 09:29 PM
Treant Treant is offline
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Hi, I know a little bit how you feel. I'm 48, been married 25 years and just now coming out. Though I think age depends on the eye of the beholder. I am still passionate about the things I love in my life. I continuously learn from people younger and older than me. Doesn't matter how old you are to step in the ring.

Last edited by Treant; 10-09-2016 at 09:47 PM.
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  #3  
Old 10-09-2016, 10:32 PM
redfriend redfriend is offline
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I know age is a lot perception based. Being single 15 years ago in my 20's was so very different though. And then add poly to the situation and the hurdles seem so big. I'm like a sponge now trying to take in any information I can. I read Ethical Sluts and Sex at Dawn, which opened my eyes to so many topics and ideas. I am also listening to lots of polyweekly podcasts. Some days I feel like I'm all trained and geared up for a sporting event, but there isn't one to participate in.
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  #4  
Old 10-09-2016, 10:56 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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Greetings redfriend,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You may be luckier than it seems; living close to Boston means living in one of the most poly-friendly areas. If you google "Boston polyamory," some local poly groups will probably come up. I also have some sites you can visit to help you find poly groups and poly people; let me know if you're interested. In the meantime there are lots of interesting conversations going on here. Check out the threads and boards and see what calls to you.

It's totally your decision whether to come out to friends; plenty of polyamorists keep in the closet about it. The Life stories and blogs board gives you a wide range of views on how various people approach poly differently.

Let us know if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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Old 10-09-2016, 11:03 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is online now
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I freed myself from a stagnant marriage after 30 years of monogamy, at age 54. I was poly but denied it to myself (and lied to my husband about my feelings to "protect" him) because I thought I was just "bad" or something, getting crushes all the time.

Living and loving polyamorously has been an adventure the last 8 years. I have had one wonderful long term love the entire time, and have had 3 or 4 other longish term "love" relationships, and some casual FWB things that served their purpose and ended in their own time. It's been a great experience and I am so glad I am on this adventure. Live it up, honey!
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  #6  
Old 10-09-2016, 11:40 PM
redfriend redfriend is offline
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Thank you for such positive, welcoming messages!

I can definitely relate to this, Magdlyn. And my therapist sure knows about the 2+ years of efforts I've been struggling through since I got free to build my confidence and feel worthy of other relationships.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I freed myself from a stagnant marriage after 30 years of monogamy, at age 54. I was poly but denied it to myself (and lied to my husband about my feelings to "protect" him) because I thought I was just "bad" or something, getting crushes all the time.
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  #7  
Old 10-11-2016, 01:41 PM
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VaughnSupponnatime VaughnSupponnatime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redfriend View Post
Hi,
Iím a divorced woman in her mid-40ís. Iíve always had multiple relationships and struggled with why until a few years ago when a married man told me about polyamory and I realized that was for me. Iíd love to have people to discuss this with and explore my feelings, especially in areas like coming out to friends, meeting others, and feeling too old to start now. I'd really love to stimulate my intellect with like minded experienced folks who are on the same journey.
Hello redfriend,

In the bigger picture of things, I'm also late to the game. I feel I was probably identifying as poly since the late 80s but didn't have a label for it back then. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that I actually started to understand these feelings I've had all these years.

You're never too old to start. In my local poly community I am privileged to gain insight from those both younger and older than me, and I'm very appreciative of everyone who is willing to open up to some of the harder things they've had to go through on their journeys.
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My dynamic:
Myself (Vaughn), straight male, officially poly since 2014...
Involved with P, straight female, known since 2009 but came out to in 2015
Caring for M, heteroflexible female, involved with since 2014
Dating V, straight female
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