Closed triad

I am part of a closed Triad and it has much to do with our age for it working so far , Being in the 40 year old age area we have done things, had children and our great ; third : has a more open idea about the whole thing she admits than if she was 30 or younger, MFF.
Me and my wife have been dating for 10 years many different women and wanting a serious third , but sadly we were not successful with almost 8 ladies we dated . We found ' equal " is not a fair assumption in our years of being in triads - Fair is more important as a factor in our current - so far most successful triad and hoping the last if all goes well , We have gained much knowledge that for it to work - " There is no her time , his time - Its OUR TIME " together . That's right , we do everything together - no one feels left out and balance is acquired because no person is alone . Of course work and things we all have to do as members of society we do on our own , Jobs are jobs. We are leaning , we sleep together in the same bed , we eat together and we do not hide public affection when we go out for each other . I have a belief that being in a closet about it will also mean your not serious enough to be in it , this at first for few months is not all the time - but should be when serious, about it.

I am glad that no one-on-one time works for you. For many people, that wouldn't work, though. Me included. I've been in a successful and wonderful triad, and there was definitely time for each couple, the triad, and each individual. Then again, I wouldn't likely be involved people who had to be a part of everything all the time, whether as a triad or a duo (this was one of the things, in fact, that contributed to the end of my last triad--one member threw a hissy fit any time anything didn't include her, preferably as the focus of the attention), so it all has to do with individual wants and needs. When my then-triad partners had their alone time, I didn't feel left out or jealous any more than I would if either/both of them was out with other friends. I prefer my partners do some things without me, whether with friends, other lovers, or by themselves. Doing everything together with people would be really suffocating for me.
 
Ditto, GreenAcres. I was in a triad for roughly 6 months. I won't lie, there were times I, or Snow felt insecure or jealous (and Blue a few times, too), but working through it made us stronger! I also felt like I really needed that one on one time with Blue and with Snow, to help me connect emotionally. In the end, there were several reasons it didn't work out, but jealousy and insecurity were not among the reasons.
 
(Is thankful that a triad is not a thing that could ever happen in my life, because I have enough trouble navigating two-person relationships...)
 
Our triad is going on 5 years and we rarely even discuss things like division of time anymore. We are such an integrated unit that it doesn't seem any different than when I was married to just 1 person.

We recently had 2 babies! My partner and I gave birth 6 days apart after years of trying to get pregnant. So now we have a total of 3 kids, 2 of which are only a few months old. We definitely don't have time for couples date nights or anything like that. Having (essentially) twins is too overwhelming, even for 3 parents.

I am really grateful for my relationship and the way it is set up. I don't think I would've wanted to have any more children in a traditional marriage, but with the 3 of us the dynamic is much better.

As for being closeted....well it's not really possible anymore, given the new babies and everything. We have been out to family for years. Of course it was a struggle at first, and some family didn't talk to us for over a year after finding out. That said, we have been very fortunate that we can be out about our family to coworkers. We have received very little backlash from our jobs in terms of our family structure.
 
I personally would rather be out of the closet; but, my poly companions have a number of reasons for staying in the closet, so I honor their wishes in that department.

We don't do everything as a group of three, we have many dyad and individual activities. But we are a closed V rather than a closed triad.
 
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