Hi all!
I'm a 22-year old girl that has been in a relationship with Bambi, 28-year old male, for a little over a year now. From the very beginning this had been an open relationship in the sexual sense, though our sexual encounters with other people were rare.
About two months ago I met Tizza, a 25-year old male. I liked him from the beginning, coming home to Bambi claiming to have found my "future best friend", as I didn't find Tizza sexually attractive, and he, unlike many other men, didn't do anything to convince me he was sexually interested either. Strangely, this changed rapidly for me, as we saw eachother a couple of times in the following week. One evening when we were out in town and had a few drinks, I couldn't control the urge to kiss him, he was pleasantly surprised. One thing led to another and I ended up in bed with Tizza that night. I did not tell Bambi initially, even though we were usually honest about sexual escapades.
I saw Tizza a few more times before I told Bambi we were really more than just friends. I told him the reason I didn't dare tell him was because it wasn't just sexual; I was falling in love with Tizza. Bambi responded reasonably well, saying that stuff like that can happen, that I could do whatever I wished with it, but urged me to take a little care as I could hurt three people. Bambi and Tizza soon met eachother and got along well, with Bambi inviting Tizza over for parties at our place and Tizza inviting Bambi along with me to go sailing. For a first-time polyamourous venture, it seemed almost too good to be true.
But it couldn't stay this way. Last week, Bambi asked me to stop seeing Tizza altogether. It came as a complete surprise to me, according to Bambi because I'm largely insensitive to how he's feeling. I don't agree with this as I did notice some mild irritation every once in a while. Every time I noticed such a thing, I asked what was wrong, but he would just insist it's "Nothing..." He would also get agitated if I'd question him further. I'm quite familiar with this behaviour, and he usually does it for anything, whether he's burnt his potatoes or something is ACTUALLY wrong. Because it can truly be anything, I usually let it slide, assuming he'll tell me eventually if such a thing is needed.
As a result, I sometimes wondered whether he did or did not truly have a problem with Tizza, and to which extent. Whenever I would try to have a conversation about the implications of the new situation and the feelings involved, he wouldn't talk about it (as he usually doesn't talk about feelings much), and just said "It's all okay, okay?"
Well, it wasn't. He declared a veto on Tizza last week, and to my question "why?" he merely responded "because I ask you to, that should be enough for you."
I know my two months of knowing Tizza are short and I could just.. Say goodbye. But these two months have been quite intense and the thought of not having him in my life anymore leaves me heartbroken. I just want to fix the situation, but I don't know how.
At this point I'm still in touch with Tizza by phone/text, without Bambi's knowing, because I feel it's only fair to Tizza to at least keep him posted. I don't want to give up this battle just yet, but at this moment, I am respecting Bambi's wish for me not to see Tizza. Tizza is fully understanding of the matter and patiently awaits how things develop, but I feel that it is no decent treatment to just leave him in doubt.
Any advice is appreciated...
I'm a 22-year old girl that has been in a relationship with Bambi, 28-year old male, for a little over a year now. From the very beginning this had been an open relationship in the sexual sense, though our sexual encounters with other people were rare.
About two months ago I met Tizza, a 25-year old male. I liked him from the beginning, coming home to Bambi claiming to have found my "future best friend", as I didn't find Tizza sexually attractive, and he, unlike many other men, didn't do anything to convince me he was sexually interested either. Strangely, this changed rapidly for me, as we saw eachother a couple of times in the following week. One evening when we were out in town and had a few drinks, I couldn't control the urge to kiss him, he was pleasantly surprised. One thing led to another and I ended up in bed with Tizza that night. I did not tell Bambi initially, even though we were usually honest about sexual escapades.
I saw Tizza a few more times before I told Bambi we were really more than just friends. I told him the reason I didn't dare tell him was because it wasn't just sexual; I was falling in love with Tizza. Bambi responded reasonably well, saying that stuff like that can happen, that I could do whatever I wished with it, but urged me to take a little care as I could hurt three people. Bambi and Tizza soon met eachother and got along well, with Bambi inviting Tizza over for parties at our place and Tizza inviting Bambi along with me to go sailing. For a first-time polyamourous venture, it seemed almost too good to be true.
But it couldn't stay this way. Last week, Bambi asked me to stop seeing Tizza altogether. It came as a complete surprise to me, according to Bambi because I'm largely insensitive to how he's feeling. I don't agree with this as I did notice some mild irritation every once in a while. Every time I noticed such a thing, I asked what was wrong, but he would just insist it's "Nothing..." He would also get agitated if I'd question him further. I'm quite familiar with this behaviour, and he usually does it for anything, whether he's burnt his potatoes or something is ACTUALLY wrong. Because it can truly be anything, I usually let it slide, assuming he'll tell me eventually if such a thing is needed.
As a result, I sometimes wondered whether he did or did not truly have a problem with Tizza, and to which extent. Whenever I would try to have a conversation about the implications of the new situation and the feelings involved, he wouldn't talk about it (as he usually doesn't talk about feelings much), and just said "It's all okay, okay?"
Well, it wasn't. He declared a veto on Tizza last week, and to my question "why?" he merely responded "because I ask you to, that should be enough for you."
I know my two months of knowing Tizza are short and I could just.. Say goodbye. But these two months have been quite intense and the thought of not having him in my life anymore leaves me heartbroken. I just want to fix the situation, but I don't know how.
At this point I'm still in touch with Tizza by phone/text, without Bambi's knowing, because I feel it's only fair to Tizza to at least keep him posted. I don't want to give up this battle just yet, but at this moment, I am respecting Bambi's wish for me not to see Tizza. Tizza is fully understanding of the matter and patiently awaits how things develop, but I feel that it is no decent treatment to just leave him in doubt.
Any advice is appreciated...