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Old 06-02-2012, 09:48 PM
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newtoday newtoday is offline
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Originally Posted by IrisAwakened View Post
think that is my major reason for staying married. I relish the thought of a trial separation, but I understand that there is much more thought to go into something like that, much more talking that needs to happen between my husband and me.

I am going to talk to him tonight, which is sometimes like pulling teeth. He used to open up to me about everything, but since poly he is shut so tight, he admits that he doesn't even know what he feels half the time. Larger issues than sex drive, right? I think I have caught it before it became hopeless, but there is still a long road until I will know anything.

I never thought it would come to this point.
Good Luck IrisA!

It's been said on here plenty, poly won't fix existing relationship issues.

Whatever you decide to do, it's good that you are giving it a fighting chance, opening your mind and heart to salvaging your marriage first.

Best of luck and lots of love to you and your family.
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Old 06-03-2012, 03:31 PM
Brid75 Brid75 is offline
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Posts: 32

I have a friend who's marriage is like the one the op describes. They have two children together, but no longer love each other. They stay together for two reasons, the kids and finance. They get on well and still care about each other, they are still friends. It works because there is no bitterness, they both pursue their own relationships. They just grew apart. It would be harder if one person falls out of love, but the other one is still in love.
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Old 06-04-2012, 11:56 PM
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IrisAwakened IrisAwakened is offline
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Default Update!

So, I had a long, pain inducing discussion with my husband. I told him everything in my mind, all ugly details and fears, my lack of lust and my waning interest. There were some tears, but sometimes you have to tear something down before you can build it back up, right? Since that night things have been night and day! He has taken an interest in me again. He even expressed gratitude for that difficult conversation, because it helped him to see things clearly, it helped him to focus on real issues. Making it sound very serious brought it up in priority in his mind, I think.

So for right now, things are doing better. I am no fool, I know these results are temporary and that it takes work to get completely better, but I think we are on our way.

Thank you all for your support!
Have courage to continue this journey, for it holds nothing but lessons and wonders.
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Old 06-05-2012, 01:08 AM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Very glad to hear it, Iris. I hope you two are able to find a long-term solution.
"I swear, if we live through this somebody's going to find their automatic shower preferences reprogrammed for ice water."

Refuge in Audacity { home of the post-raph stunner }
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