where I began, in a nutshell
I always had a lot of lovers and friends-with-benefits growing up and I just thought that was dating. I didn't tell each of them about each other because I didn't see a need to. At some point, I realized that my not telling everyone about each other was hurting them, and I was surprised. I kept at it, but would just make sure everyone knew I was a free spirit... well, a slut, really.
I decided to settle into several long-term relationships with men and even agreed to marry one of them. I didn't in the end. He dumped me.
I became a serial monogamist. That didn't work out, as I fell in love with a woman and realized that perhaps I was a lesbian.
I left men for good at age 21 and decided that my time and energy were better spent in the women's community. For about 10 years I loved and dated women; two women in particular, one of which I committed to in a marriage arrangement. I now call her my ex-wife.
My ex-wife and I decided to be non-monogamous, as I was involved with queer women in the BDSM scene and we thought perhaps it would make our relationship better. Turns out this meant that I would invite a man into our life and bed. This arrangement was exciting, but when it came down to it, she decided that she was monogamous and that she wanted to travel and continue school and I wanted to settle into parenthood and buying a house. She is still a big part of my life and that of my child's.
That man and I married and he is now my husband, Poly Nerdist. We have one boy child, a house, jobs and have been married in a poly relationship for 9 years. He identifies as bisexual and I identify as pansexual. Together we have journeyed together through many poly/swinging/open situations and dynamics and have ended up so far with identifying as poly exclusively after a long journey. This may change, but for now this is where we are at.
My husband has two lovers that are very distant in his life at the moment. One man and one woman (rolypoly). He seeks someone more committed to him and available, but it just hasn't happened yet.
I have a boyfriend primary of 18 months, who is MonoVCPHG on this forum. He identifies as monogamous, straight and vanilla in all things BDSM (although the latter is not so true anymore
). I also have a girlfriend secondary, who is Derbylicious on this site. She is married and has two kids. We have been together for about three or four months now, and are slowly working on how our lives might fit together. I have a non-sexual boyfriend (NSB) that I see once a month, and a tertiary that I see as often as I can these days, as he is going through a divorce and has a mono girlfriend to negotiate with.
Lastly, I have a D/s life that I am getting more and more connected to and identify more and more with. I consider myself a Mistress and take that role in Mono's life, as well as with an online man I have acquired and a woman in my poly community with whom I am just beginning to negotiate. This identity is more and more attractive to me, but it interrupts my daily life at this point, and I find myself kept at bay from living it 24/7.
So, this is me, so far. More to come. Thanks for reading. (Actually I am thankful for writing, really. Feels good!
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