dingedheart
Well-known member
So to recap.....5 or 7 yrs ago you have maritial trouble ...your sex life got boring ....you lost interest in your husband ...you pushed for additional partners an or excitement...swinging, etc. He found other women to fulfill that unmet need and you found someone more exciting as well.
During that time did you experience the spillover effect ...did it enhance your sex life with your husband ? My guess is no....or...Worse as result he lost interest in you. Now with the bf dumping you...that distraction is over ...now you want back in ....unfortunately it's too late. This so reminds me of another member ... kindapod.. He ..the husband was pushed into poly ....he remained mono for many yrs ...saying ihe didnt like it and it bothered him...finally after 7 yrs or something decided to find a girlfriend. And he did... and then fell in love. After a yr or 2 wanted to make her the primary. Bottom-line the damage was done yrs before. He said he loved his wife in human to human sense or cousin, sister,close friend sense but not in the romantic "in love with her" sense. And that they were and had been functioning as roomates for a longtime. The wife seem somewhat hurt and blindsided or confused by his new stance.
If you got depression issues or mental issues he may not be telling you exactly how he feels as he doesn't want the responsibility or work load of triggering some sort of a episode. I'm not divorced for that very reason ....I don't want cause further stress to my wife mental health. However I don't lie and say I love her either. It's a little awkward on the phone when she says I love you right before hanging up....but thanks and take care seems to fill in the gap.
I think you ahold go back to finding another distraction and be happy.
Or find a relationship that made you happy on all levels ....not trying to cobble 2 together. Who knows that could be
the source of the depression.
During that time did you experience the spillover effect ...did it enhance your sex life with your husband ? My guess is no....or...Worse as result he lost interest in you. Now with the bf dumping you...that distraction is over ...now you want back in ....unfortunately it's too late. This so reminds me of another member ... kindapod.. He ..the husband was pushed into poly ....he remained mono for many yrs ...saying ihe didnt like it and it bothered him...finally after 7 yrs or something decided to find a girlfriend. And he did... and then fell in love. After a yr or 2 wanted to make her the primary. Bottom-line the damage was done yrs before. He said he loved his wife in human to human sense or cousin, sister,close friend sense but not in the romantic "in love with her" sense. And that they were and had been functioning as roomates for a longtime. The wife seem somewhat hurt and blindsided or confused by his new stance.
If you got depression issues or mental issues he may not be telling you exactly how he feels as he doesn't want the responsibility or work load of triggering some sort of a episode. I'm not divorced for that very reason ....I don't want cause further stress to my wife mental health. However I don't lie and say I love her either. It's a little awkward on the phone when she says I love you right before hanging up....but thanks and take care seems to fill in the gap.
I think you ahold go back to finding another distraction and be happy.
Or find a relationship that made you happy on all levels ....not trying to cobble 2 together. Who knows that could be
the source of the depression.
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