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  #551  
Old 07-20-2017, 05:02 PM
Petunia Petunia is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Talula
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Last night I had to dig through paperwork looking for Twitch's SUV title. I was pretty certain that we separated that stuff when we split, but he can't find it, so he wanted me to look. Wow, that is an emotional workout going through our past life. I think this also added to my sads/low. It wasn't in the filing cabinet or in a tote of office stuff that I have, so he'll have to order a replacement title from the DMV.

When I texted him to say I didn't find it I also let him know that it was emotionally brutal to go through that stuff. He replied that he knows it is and that he has regrets every day about how he messed everything up and how he wishes he could go back and fix it. I felt bad that I shared with him that it's hard to go through that stuff. I let him know, because I didn't want him to ask me to go through it again (for the fourth time). Still, doing so adds more guilt on him and at this rate he'll remain in the hell he's created for himself and never heal and move on.
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Petunia: 51 year old, straight, cisgender female
Bond: 46 year old straight cisgender male, Primary Partner
B: Bond and Petunia's 40 year old girlfriend
Bea: Bond's 40 year old cisgender girlfriend
M: Bond's 45 year old cisgender bisexual ex-girlfriend
Golden: 42 year old male, ex-boyfriend, housemate
Twitch: 45 year old straight cisgender male, ex-husband, father to Shasti's son
Shasti: Twitch's 45 year old straight cisgender girlfriend, mother of Twitch's son
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  #552  
Old 07-20-2017, 05:09 PM
Petunia Petunia is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Talula
Posts: 588
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I saw Thad when I was driving home the other day. We were both advancing towards a 3-way stop side by side so we put the windows down and had a quick conversation. He really wants to hang out with Bond and me. He sends me messages fairly often asking if it is possible. I finally gave in and made plans for Monday night. He's bringing a partner. They're arriving early enough to hang in the kitchen while we prepare dinner. He's jazzed. I'm sure it'll be pleasant if not a bit odd for Bond and me. I'm think he's under the impression that we have intellectual conversations on a regular basis, because he's caught us having a few of them when he's popped by in the past and we've pulled him into our conversation. He might be disappointed to learn that more often we're talking about household chores and what's for dinner. A good political, or social justice, discussion is more what he's hoping for I'm sure.
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Petunia: 51 year old, straight, cisgender female
Bond: 46 year old straight cisgender male, Primary Partner
B: Bond and Petunia's 40 year old girlfriend
Bea: Bond's 40 year old cisgender girlfriend
M: Bond's 45 year old cisgender bisexual ex-girlfriend
Golden: 42 year old male, ex-boyfriend, housemate
Twitch: 45 year old straight cisgender male, ex-husband, father to Shasti's son
Shasti: Twitch's 45 year old straight cisgender girlfriend, mother of Twitch's son
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  #553  
Old 07-21-2017, 03:00 PM
Petunia Petunia is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Talula
Posts: 588
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Date night with Franki was really sweet. I wonder if I'll be able to transition from friends to romantic friend. Probably yes. We've always walked the edge of that, so now it'll be something we don't have to pull back from. Afterall, she is the person who made me squirt for the first time six years ago. LOL. I met her through our experimentations with kink and we became friends almost instantly. A year or so later she asked if she could try to get me to squirt. We planned it for when we were at their trailer up north one weekend. Twitch, Smatch (her hubby), were there participating, observing the whole thing. It was kind of a hoot. For the record, ever since that first time there are times when it just happens and I'm less than enthusiastic when it does. Someone just happens to hit the right spot and it's uncontrollable from my end. The person who caused it to happen is usually pleased with themselves, but for me it's meh as far as an experience and more of an ugh over the fluid mess.

I feel so huge compared to her. She's so tiny and I'm carrying extra weight. I tell myself that it doesn't matter to her, because if it did she would not want to be in a relationship with me. I believe that's true, but it's still hard to not feel unattractive. All of this in on my side. She has never, ever said or done anything to lead me to think she feels that I'm unattractive. Just my lovely brain weasels.

B took off on her Colorado trip in the wee hours of the morning. Bond visited briefly last night with his youngest, S3. Her daughter has a big attachment to a hat with bunny ears and she couldn't find it. They heard noise from the front and discovered she had totally unpacked the car in search of her hat. Some of the things were too heavy for her to lift, so she pulled them and in the process pulled the gasket out. Bond tried to get it back in place, but it's stretched now and it doesn't fit like it should. Agh! Kids! Before that, the kids were having a water balloon fight and she stepped back into a window well, the kind that is super big for an egress window in the basement and banged her leg up. Bond said that B handled it all very well. She's such a good momma.

My daughter sent me a picture of a fresh tattoo of a yellow flower, the ones that look like wild sunflowers, this morning. Evidently a friend of hers is a professional tattoo artist and did the tattoo for the price of a hug. She said that the words, 'do you suppose she's a wildflower?" from Alice in Wonderland will be added at another sitting. I find this encouraging. It seems that a person who is intent on suicide wouldn't bother getting a tattoo. I hope it's a good sign.
__________________
Petunia: 51 year old, straight, cisgender female
Bond: 46 year old straight cisgender male, Primary Partner
B: Bond and Petunia's 40 year old girlfriend
Bea: Bond's 40 year old cisgender girlfriend
M: Bond's 45 year old cisgender bisexual ex-girlfriend
Golden: 42 year old male, ex-boyfriend, housemate
Twitch: 45 year old straight cisgender male, ex-husband, father to Shasti's son
Shasti: Twitch's 45 year old straight cisgender girlfriend, mother of Twitch's son
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  #554  
Old 07-21-2017, 03:37 PM
RainyGrlJenny's Avatar
RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
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I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's struggles, and for what it's worth I'm sending positive energy her way (and yours!).
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37/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy, ultimately amicable breakup), and his 11-year-old son Kiddo
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  #555  
Old 07-21-2017, 03:54 PM
Petunia Petunia is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Talula
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RainyGrlJenny View Post
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's struggles, and for what it's worth I'm sending positive energy her way (and yours!).
Thank you! Much appreciated.
__________________
Petunia: 51 year old, straight, cisgender female
Bond: 46 year old straight cisgender male, Primary Partner
B: Bond and Petunia's 40 year old girlfriend
Bea: Bond's 40 year old cisgender girlfriend
M: Bond's 45 year old cisgender bisexual ex-girlfriend
Golden: 42 year old male, ex-boyfriend, housemate
Twitch: 45 year old straight cisgender male, ex-husband, father to Shasti's son
Shasti: Twitch's 45 year old straight cisgender girlfriend, mother of Twitch's son
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