New guy on the forum, polycurious

thepaleob

New member
Hello everyone,

I'm a mono guy opening up my mind to poly ideas with my GF, maybe getting close to becoming a Monomour (my GF is bi). My GF is wonderful, she & I have been close for 5-6 months now. She casually used to mention how nice it'd be to go hook up with a girl (all in playful jest , not that she was seriously entertaining the idea or trying to give me hints of any sort)

The next 4 months however, she's in a coop in a different part of the country and I wont be seeing her. Something came to my mind after reading "The Loving Dominant", and I began entertaining the thought of her being sexually unsatisfied (she's a very beautiful, sexual being). I wanted to let her not feel that sexual lacking. So I, being a giver(almost to a fault..) , asked her if she wanted us to explore her meeting up with a lady (she is not interested in men, and currently I am not ready for that myself either).

So we are going forward together. She will be meeting up with her first date lady soon. I am happy for her. But it is not easy addressing the emotions that arise at times. This forum has been very helpful, and I pray I'll be here long enough to learn and expand my mind, and find deeper meaning in my relationships.

Lots of Love,
thepaleob
 
Greetings thepaleob,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Kudos as you've taken a step that few people take, opening your mind to the possibility of poly. I hope you'll find the insights you need here, keep reading and posting and see if you have any questions.

Great to have you with us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thank you Kevin!

Yes I've found great refuge and solace after reading various posts on this forum (a lot of threads in spirituality & polyamory). I've also read "Ethical Slut" and found it very helpful. My next book is "Sex at Dawn".

Me & my GF skyped the other day and I showed her the Glossary of terms page on this forum, she was very moved and excited. Also very cautious, as she fears I might be moving ahead too fast with something I may not fully be appreciating the implications of - I value her concern immensely. It is a powerful reassurance to know your loved one may not want to try poly if it hurts me - It makes me want to get as comfortable as possible myself, and to allow her to have a peaceful, safe & comfy partner willing to try something.

I think the key part is communcation. We have shared a ton of stuff emotional & personal in nature and its definitely brought us closer. Even if after everything ends up with us being happy being in a mono exclusive relationship (or not) I think the lessons learnt are hugely valuable (managing jealousy, seeing your partner NOT AS everything in your life but as a joyous addition to ONES LIFE, to be thankful & grateful for, etc)

I'll try and post updates from my side as things move along. Today evening is the date my lady has with the new friend. :) I am smiling with joy, my mind is clear. But my heart beats fast....I look down at my chest and talk to myself "what's the matter my friend? Its all ok" :)

Lots of love,
thepaleob
 
Yeah, productive communication is vital in poly. Oh and good book choices. Sex at Dawn is one of my faves. :)
 
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