mono blues

GirlWhoWaited

New member
She preaches polyamory but the only poly person here is her.
A husband, a boyfriend (primary) ..then me.
I've dated poly girls before. Its never been called that but I've been here. However not like this. I've never dated and lived with someone, all if us under the same roof.
She has been keeping my children while I work part time. She asked to be able to and I keep hers for her but she became discontented with this arrangement and broke things off. She seems to want to get back together but left me scrambling for childcare. I don't want to go back to the same relationship we had - with her sleeping most of the time - the rest spent with other people than myself. Never alone with me - even for my birthday, she made a big show of it but I just want one on one time with her.

Everyone thinks I've lost my mind. I think she is confused about polyamory. We all get along but she doesn't seem interested in a one-on-one thing anymore. Do I leave it alone and move out or is it possible since I know we both care, that when the dust settles, we can have time for us? Is she a lost cause?

I'm 100% lesbian.. and 100% in love. We have lived together 4 months and my kids ate attached.
 
I kinda don't understand what's going on. ..
 
If you're not getting what you need (one on one time) and you've told her, and she still isn't giving it to you, I say get out. You aren't looking to be part of a harem. You don't say how long you were together before you moved in? Then she broke up with you? But now maybe wants you back?

It's difficult to discern from this little amount of info, but so far, sounding toxic and like you're better off moving on. Also, who is "everyone" and why do they think you're crazy?
 
I am sorry you are sad. :(

I am sorry she broke up with you and left you in the lurch for childcare.

Now from your post I understand that she wants to get back together? You do not want to because

  • she dinged you with the childcare
  • she would sleep all the time
  • when she was awake, she'd spend it with husband or BF and rarely you and her alone.
  • Your needs are not met here.

You miss her though, and wonder if it is worth giving it another shot, if things might work out once things settle down?

I think you are in "bargaining" in the stages of grief as you move through healing from the break up. :(

I could be wrong - and maybe things could be patched up. But only you can answer if you are willing/able to give it another go. And if you both try again -- only you can determine if she actually meets your needs now or if she keeps letting you down.

I hope you feel better for the vent though. I am sorry you deal in break up pain -- that's rough. :(

Galagirl
 
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