How many people in your household?

Household Size

  • Just me

    Votes: 2 11.1%
  • Small-ish: 2-4

    Votes: 14 77.8%
  • Medium: 5-10

    Votes: 1 5.6%
  • Larger: 10-15

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Lots of love: 15-20

    Votes: 1 5.6%
  • We're building a new city! 20+

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    18

majormerrick

New member
I'm just curious how many people live in poly households. I see some folks on this forum who live alone or with a couple of others. Then there are people who have a large family. I imagine there are also some who live in communes or another kind of large group setting. So what's your life like?

In my case... I've got my husband, two sister wives, two girlfriends, and my husband's kids. We also have one of my husband's friends and her kids living with us. And...we're expecting that when his parents get older and don't want to maintain their own place, they will move in as well. So our place usually has upwards of 15 people around, and potentially more. I lived in a commune setting at one point in my life, so I'm used to it even though I can be kind of an introvert.
 
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Right now I live with my husband (MonkeyMan), our kid, a housemate, and a cat. There is a possibility that someday the housemate will be replaced by my boyfriend, but it’s not clear if that can happen yet. I’d consider a 3 adult household to be my most common living situation as an adult, though there was a two year period when I lived with 4, and also a time when I lived in a 5 adult polycule (that lasted about two years as well). During the brief times when it’s been just me and MonkeyMan and our kid, it has felt weird to me and way too quiet!
 
My household consists of a V, that is, three people, and, two cats.
 
Just me and two fur babies. It’s possible I may live with a partner again but just as likely I continue living alone.
 
Just myself and my adult daughter (and her dog) at this point.

However plans are afoot re: an overseas move that would see me living in a three-adult household with my boyfriend and girlfriend (we intend to marry).

I've never lived in a poly household before, although years ago my housemate and I occasionally slept with the same guy; our other housemate and my ex - does that count? :eek:
 
It's just Hubby and me, and our three cats. Both of my kids moved out well over a year ago, though technically one hasn't fully moved out because she's in college. So her stuff lives with us, at least, and she shows up once in a while.

Living in a poly household is not a thing that is likely to ever happen in my situation. Hubby prefers a LOT of alone time, and at this point prefers that I not even have my other partners over to visit. Which is fine; I prefer going to their homes to see them anyway.
 
Husband and kid and 2 cats and 2 dogs. Kind of counting down years until kid moves out, though perhaps I'll be happier he's around when he's older.

Honestly I'd rather live in either a commune or a solo situation - somehow this feels like the worst of both worlds. Knight and I have discussed getting a condo that's set up more for roommates after kid moves out in 12 years, alternatively we could both move into a shared thing. We shall see.
 
I sense a degree of size-queening here.

:D

Haha... I think perhaps that would be size-kinging in my case? It is my husband who keeps making stuff bigger. Holidays sure are interesting...

I wonder if people who enjoy polyamory are less likely to be introverts, or if it is the same as the rest of the population? (My husband gets me interested in this stuff...he always talks about sociology, psychology, etc...)
 
I don't think being polyamorous necessarily equates to being less introverted. I'm very introverted, and have social anxiety, but I'm also very definitely poly. However, the introversion and social anxiety mean that I prefer seeing each of my partners one-on-one, rather than seeing them at the same time or seeing one of them when a metamour is also present.

I know quite a few introverts who are also poly. They manage quite well; they structure things so they have alone time and time to recharge after social events. If I think about the poly people I know personally, I would say at least half of them consider themselves to be introverts.
 
We are 3 adults + pets in a one bedroom house. I would prefer for each person to have their own room, suite, etc. Ideally I think I would most prefer a commune style - individual residences on same property. Also thinking ahead to elder care...and I do NOT want to live in a household with children.

I wonder if people who enjoy polyamory are less likely to be introverts, or if it is the same as the rest of the population? (My husband gets me interested in this stuff...he always talks about sociology, psychology, etc...)

We also like to think about and discuss things like this.

There are plenty of us introverts here. I need LOTS of alone time and prefer my social interactions to be one-on-one or very small clusters of people that know each other well. (Or in forums such as this where I can respond or not on my own timeframe.)

One of the things that I enjoy about my partners (and the people that I choose to be friends with) is that I am not expected to fulfill ALL of their needs for intimacy/social interaction all of the time. The extraverts that I include in my "inner circle" have other friends/partners to do "group activities" with. (I get rather annoyed with acquaintances that try to "fix" my introversion by trying to bully me into group outings "for my own good" - which is why they remain acquaintances and not friends :eek:).

You might enjoy this old thread: Myers Briggs and polyamory (You can also do a search for keywords: personality, introversion, extraversion, etc.)
 
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I am at heart a householder. At one time I was a regular guest at a household of 14 adults (it was a very big house), & enjoyed my visits greatly.

My firsthand day-to-day experience is that four or five is about the sane limit for wild-eyed individualists. Any larger begins to require some sort of strong leader (individual, couple, or Elders) to literally lay down the laws, resolve disputes, & ensure that physical stuff (house, cars, appliances, bills, etc.) gets maintained. I'm too much a sceptic & anarchist to bow down to any such cultism.

So many "couples looking for Our One" have not had even one roommate other than their spouse-or-equivalent since their 20s -- if ever at all. Yet they blithely fantasize about how EASY it's going to be to wedge a (let's face it) stranger into their neat li'l lives. :rolleyes:
 
One of the things that I enjoy about my partners (and the people that I choose to be friends with) is that I am not expected to fulfill ALL of their needs for intimacy/social interaction all of the time. The extraverts that I include in my "inner circle" have other friends/partners to do "group activities" with. (I get rather annoyed with acquaintances that try to "fix" my introversion by trying to bully me into group outings "for my own good" - which is why they remain acquaintances and not friends :eek:).

You might enjoy this old thread: Myers Briggs and polyamory (You can also do a search for keywords: personality, introversion, extraversion, etc.)
Interesting thread. I’ve taken the test before and gotten mixed results between INTP and ISTP. My husband is very strongly an ENTJ “Commander” type, which seems to fit him pretty well. I’m introverted in that I like a quiet environment and disorder tends to upset me, but I also don’t want a ton of alone time when I’m at home. IDK. I agree that poly allows people to get their needs met by multiple other people, and can result in a greater degree of satisfaction. For my GF#1 especially, it has given her more affection in her life than I could provide alone.

I am at heart a householder. At one time I was a regular guest at a household of 14 adults (it was a very big house), & enjoyed my visits greatly.

My firsthand day-to-day experience is that four or five is about the sane limit for wild-eyed individualists. Any larger begins to require some sort of strong leader (individual, couple, or Elders) to literally lay down the laws, resolve disputes, & ensure that physical stuff (house, cars, appliances, bills, etc.) gets maintained. I'm too much a sceptic & anarchist to bow down to any such cultism.

So many "couples looking for Our One" have not had even one roommate other than their spouse-or-equivalent since their 20s -- if ever at all. Yet they blithely fantasize about how EASY it's going to be to wedge a (let's face it) stranger into their neat li'l lives. :rolleyes:
I think you’ve got to have a big house to have a large number of people. When I lived in an all-female commune setting, the quarters were extremely cramped. It tended to smell like a sweaty dorm. I enjoyed the friends I had there and the feeling of mission and comradeship that we had, but it always felt like I had to crawl over five people to reach anything in the house.

I tend to be an individualist, but that has been tempered over the years by the realization that I don’t get along with others when I’m that way. Anarchy and skepticism sounded great until I lost some people I cared about. I actually drove my husband away when I was younger because I just couldn’t settle. It took some time to get wiser, and I was lucky that he was patient and wanted to remain friends....it took another ten years for us to get back together. My GF#1 has worked on my rough edges over the years….humility isn’t natural.

I agree that a household requires a leader. It is definitely true in a large setting, or even in a triad. I was the leader in the triad, and now that I live in a larger setting it is my husband. He’s also a leader in our community (head of security), so it fits him. After years of being independent and having others look to me, I find it a relief to have someone I can depend on….someone whose lap I can curl up on when things just aren’t going right. One thing I’ve noticed that makes or breaks leaders is whether they can handle someone who speaks truth. To be able to handle all the different conflicting opinions and reach consensus in the middle of it is a skill that is learned, and few people seem to master it. I know I don’t have it...
 
Which house do you want an answer for?

Not every poly family lives under one roof.

I am married to two men and maintain seperate households which each.
 
I wonder if people who enjoy polyamory are less likely to be introverts, or if it is the same as the rest of the population?
IMHO not really. But introverts sure need more space so they are (perhaps?) less likely choose a huge busy household.
 
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