Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

I was grocery shopping yesterday and Redpepper's dad came up and said hi. I extended my hand, as I have always done to him, and we shook for the first time since we came out to them. He mentioned the fact it had been a while since we shook hands. We chatted pleasantly and then returned to our shopping. It felt good that he approached me, as opposed to avoiding talking. I felt no discomfort at all. I am more confident and assured than ever. This is right for us. :)
 
That's great, Mono!

I came out to my father today. I expected that he wouldn't give me flack about it, but I didn't expect him to tell me that whatever it takes to make me happy was good by him. Then to make things even cooler, he told me that he and his wife were swingers (on occasion). :eek:

I feel so much more at ease with myself. I couldn't have faced that fear if it wasn't for this board, especially you and RP.

Thanks everyone. Peace and love.
 
I was grocery shopping yesterday and Redpepper's Dad came up and said hi. I extended my hand, as I have always done to him, and we shook for the first time since we came out to them. He mentioned the fact it had been a while since we shook hands. We chatted pleasantly and then returned to our shopping. It felt good that he aproached me as opposed to avoiding talking. I felt no discomfort at all...I am more confident and assured than ever....this is right for us. :)

EXCELLENT!!! I feel like giving group hugs today!!!!
 
What exactly are you insinuating????HMMMM :D:p
 
Okay, I'm back to the real reason for this very long thread. if you don't mind, Mono?! Hmmmm. :)

Tonight I got a call from my mum inviting me out for tea. This is a big deal for me! If you followed this thread,
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=721&highlight=redpepper
you will know why.

I have been having tea with my dad and he has often said I should ask her. I have told him that I won't, as I think she should ask me when she is ready and has gone through a bit more therapy.

I dropped my boy off for them to take him on a trip to "their" property, which used to be ours until we came out and they asked us to sign it over, as it was my mum's inheritance that bought it. When I dropped him off, I couldn't help get choked up as I said good-bye. I told her I was very pleased that they saw it in their hearts to not cut him off from the place, as we thought they would do. Also, I was sad because I am still grieving that we may never go there again.

My mum told me that of course we would go there again and that she in no way wanted to keep us from it. She just wants to have her own input with her mum's money and that she would leave half to me and half to my brother in her will. In the meantime we will be able to go there.

She also mentioned that she and my dad have a lot to work out and that she is spending her time in therapy working on that, as it will help her to be happy. Her issues are more to do with her own unhappiness in life than with my poly life as.

She said that she only wants me to be happy, healthy and beautiful, which I am, and that she does everything for me and my brother. I told her that that is all very well, but if I am not doing what she thinks is right, then she gets disappointed and I feel guilty for not living up to her standard. She tried to tell me that this was my problem, but I still need to further explain that it isn't, actually.

Baby steps in the right direction. I have a lot of boundaries to set with her and a lot of negotiating in our relationship if it is to be healthy for me in the future. Wish me luck tomorrow night!
 
I'm glad your mum's starting to come around a bit.
Good luck sweetie. I really hope it goes well.
 
What can I say about success and happiness tonight? I feel at the absolutely best place I have been in my relationship since meeting Redpepper. We were striving to get back to our pre-telling her parents happiness and comfort. We did that and better.

From having been so stripped, we built our love and commitment back up better than before. I am completely at ease in so many ways. We love being together and her husband and I love taking care of our fiery Redpepper on many levels. ;)
 
That's fantastic RP and Mono. I am glad to hear about some positive changes in the family. Nothing hurts worse than the feeling you're being cut off from something/someplace that means so much to you in your lives.
 
Sharing Success and Happiness

The exterior doesnt do it justice. The interior is even more impressive - especially for an Auckland house of worship.

Does anyone have a picture of the Baptist Tabernacle at the top of Queen Street? Thats another impressive one
 
the exterior doesnt do it justice. The interior is even more impressive - especially for an auckland house of worship.

Does anyone have a picture of the baptist tabernacle at the top of queen street? Thats another impressive one

wtf??
 
Better than ever

Yesterday, Redepper had a nice tea with her mom. Why is this important? Because things are normalizing.

We have weathered an immense storm externally and internally over the past two months. We are now better than ever. Remove the word poly, remove the constant poly specific struggles, remove the issue of family acceptance, we are simply us... all of us. We are just people in a relationship, members of a family, friends and lovers.

Last night, Redpepper came over and I was almost concerned because there was nothing to work on. There was no dramatic issue to figure out, no question of how to make this work or even if we wanted it to work.

I don't have a TV or desire to spend time with her watching TV. I want to spend our time connected and actively sharing. Last night we read to each other from a book. She sat back on my couch and I sat between her legs with my back against her chest. We took turns reading and sharing a story we both have enjoyed before.

Of course, there will be things in the future to work on, but we are finally getting to just experience each other on a normalized, secure and peaceful plain. We get to try other things together now, that all our work prevented us from doing. We get to discover and build up the fun things, the things we will do well into the future.
 
Of course there will be things in the future to work on but we are finally getting to just experience each other on a normalized, secure and peaceful plain. We get to try other things together now that all our work prevented us from doing. We get to discover and build up the fun things, the things we will do well into the future.

How wonderful. I am so happy for all of you.
 
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