Should I say something?

Kommander

New member
I started a new job on Monday, and today during my lunch break, a car in the parking lot caught my attention. The license plate... I need to be careful here... is a variant spelling of the word "unicorn" that is not immediately obvious and had several stickers with the word "love" and hearts. I didn't get a close enough look to see if she had an infinity heart sticker or something else overtly poly-related, but, well, it seemed like the owner of the car may be subtly identifying as poly.

A co-worker returning from lunch walked past a few moments later, and I stopped her and asked who the car belonged to. Turns out it belongs to a girl that caught my eye the day I started working at this place.

I'm wondering if I should approach her about this? Not for the reasons you guys are probably thinking. While I am extremely attracted to this girl, I don't think she'd someone I'd want to date. Although, I don't know her... at all, really. Anyway, girl that catches my eye the first day being poly; my life isn't that awesome. The reason I want to approach her about it is because I'm assuming she's not poly, is unaware of what the word "unicorn" means among our kind, and may want to get another plate. If it is just coincidence, I don't think it's the kind of thing that would result in random people propositioning her, but she may want to be aware of this possible interpretation. If I was in a similar situation, like if Xared meant "person that likes to be forcibly taken by large men and doesn't believe in safe words" or something, I'd definitely want to be made aware. However, I'm not her, so I don't know if it's a good idea or not.
 
If that's you're only motivation for talking to her, then I wouldn't worry. There aren't exactly a ton of poly folk around that would misinterpret this.

If she isn't poly, then at some time in the future she may well get approached by a unicorn hunter... so they talk to her, realise she isn't poly and then move on - where's the harm? No need for her to get a new plate, I'd say.

That's if that's you're only motivation... If there were other motivations, I might give different advice...
 
You seem to want to talk to the lady about her plate. So talk to the lady about her plate.

"Hi there, noticed you are new around work. Your plate caught my eye. Wassup with the unicorn thing?"

And see where it goes. KISS -- keep it simple, silly. :)

GG
 
That's if that's you're only motivation... If there were other motivations, I might give different advice...
Very rarely do my actions have a single motivation behind them. It is my primary motivation though, probably about 90% of it, more or less.

But yeah, if she is poly I'd like to know. Like I said, while I'm attracted to her, I don't think we'd be compatible, but I barely know her so I can't be sure of that. She does seem like someone I could be friends with and I would like to get to know her better, and it's an excuse to talk to her. Also, showing concern for the well-being of others is usually considered an admirable quality, and I do enjoy being admired. So yeah, there are other motivations.

If you were talking about trying to get into her pants and being sneaky about it, no, not something I do. If I want to get into someone's pants I'm pretty direct about it.


"Hi there, noticed you are new around work. Your plate caught my eye. Wassup with the unicorn thing?"
Actually, I'm new around work. She's been there... several years, I think. I'm the one in the new situation, which is why I felt the need to run this past others.
 
Fair 'nuff.

Rewrite:

"Hi there, I am new around work. Your plate caught my eye. Wassup with the unicorn thing?"

GG :)
 
KISS -- keep it simple, silly.
I always say,"keep it simple, sweetie." ;)
I've always heard it with the word "stupid" in there somewhere. However, pointing out stupidity in others is generally considered impolite, so I thank you both for not doing so.

Also, over-thinking things is hard-wired into my personality. I can't not do it.
 
I don't think the unicorn misinterpretation is a good thing to point out. My wife loves unicorns. It has nothing to do with our lifestyle. Don't ruin someone's love for mythical creatures.
 
Wait a bit?

I personally would wait a while, get a sense of the new workplace, the people there, the spoken and unspoken rules of the place, before bringing this up. She may be totally open to her coworkers about being poly, or her love of mythical unicorns (not the poly one but the original). It seems premature to me to ask her something this specific this early.
 
Also, despite its negative connotations, some people do embrace the unicorn label.
 
I don't think the unicorn misinterpretation is a good thing to point out. My wife loves unicorns. It has nothing to do with our lifestyle. Don't ruin someone's love for mythical creatures.
I don't know if pointing this out would would ruin unicorns for this woman. It may be kind of like if a dog lover had a license plate that said "dogging" or "dogger." Pointing out what that means probably wouldn't ruin someone's love of dogs, but they may want to rephrase their license plate. Although, a dog lover probably would not accidentially use those terms, more people would probably know how those words are used, and that kind of license plate would almost certainly attract unwanted attention and propositions. I would assume your wife knows how we use the word unicorn, but it would seem it hasn't ruined them for her.

Thank you though. Things like this are precisely why I started this thread.

I personally would wait a while, get a sense of the new workplace, the people there, the spoken and unspoken rules of the place, before bringing this up. She may be totally open to her coworkers about being poly, or her love of mythical unicorns (not the poly one but the original). It seems premature to me to ask her something this specific this early.
It's a small office, and it seems like most people have been there a while and they're fairly tightly-knit, yet at the same time they're friendly and welcoming of new people. They're also very open about sexuality. I've been there a week and have had at least ten very interesting group conversations, and yet I get the sense they're holding back a bit so as not to scare the new people. If she is poly, everyone probably knows. The girl I asked whose car it was kind of indicated it did have a meaning and she knew what it was, but didn't want to say anything in case I was talking about something different. If she just liked unicorns I'd imagine the other girl would have said so. If it's not the poly meaning, the only other thing I can come up with is that this girl considers herself rare, beautiful, and unattainable, which the other girl may have hesitated to point out because it's kind of arrogant.

I mentioned in my first post that I was thinking she's probably not poly because my life isn't that awesome. The job is temporary; it ends in three or four weeks. Really liking a job that goes away in a month is precisely how awesome my life is.

Also, despite its negative connotations, some people do embrace the unicorn label.
It's always been my understanding that the negative connotations had more to do with the unicorn hunters and the act of hunting. That they have unrealistic expectations and do not treat the unicorns fairly. Being a unicorn seems like a good thing in a lot of ways. Being a unicorn can result in being mistreated, but they're also in high demand and have a lot of opportunities for great relationships if they're patient. Far more people self-identify as unicorns and see it as a positive thing than those that self-identify as unicorn hunters.
 
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