This is of course a spin off from another post, but I have been thinking about something for a while regarding my guy's OSO...
Here's the deal... I am the "baby" of the bunch. At least 10 years younger than the other two involved in the "relationship" (she is actually older than he is). This is also her first stab at poly, but he has had these type relationships for years.
I just get a strange vibe from her, and I am trying to figure out if it's just me being jealous or if it's a genuine red flag. She's saying all of the right things and doing all of the right things, but for some reason, I think she is just going with the flow with the hopes that our guy will one day come around and become mono (a problem that he has had before). I have seen her engage in things around him that she said she adamantly didn't participate in just to please him (I am guilty of this as well, hence the uncomfortable threesome), and I really think this is the case with the whole poly thing. She just seems like one of those settle down chicks. For instance, she SAYS she would be open to entertaining women, but I don't get that vibe at all whereas in my situation with our guy, I was totally open to it (even entertained it with a random girl), just not with HER.
There have already been instances where I feel like she is trying to put me in a bad light, and I'm sure she is taking full advantage of the fact that she is the "around the corner" girl, but something just doesn't... feel... right.
Granted, I am the most competitive person in the world (trust, I sized her up from the minute I met her as I 'm sure she did me which probably led to our mutual discomfort when placed in a group situation), and that could be part of what I'm feeling added to the fact that naturally, I am comparing myself to her (not healthy, but natural) which has led to some insecurities on my part, but there are just so many questions and feelings...
Honestly, part of me hopes that she's going to show her true colors sooner than later and just turn our guy off. Then part of me just worries that I am the young, dumb pu_ _ y in the whole scenario (he keeps saying he likes my "potential"... Ummm...I'm pretty damn spectacular NOW!!!!) and that he is hoping to mold me into what he wants...
I dunno. We are going to see each other soon, and I think another conversation is in order. It's obvious that the NRE is starting to wear off and the reality is starting to kick in. This may be the opportune time to make a break....
This is all SOOOOOOOO new....
Here's the deal... I am the "baby" of the bunch. At least 10 years younger than the other two involved in the "relationship" (she is actually older than he is). This is also her first stab at poly, but he has had these type relationships for years.
I just get a strange vibe from her, and I am trying to figure out if it's just me being jealous or if it's a genuine red flag. She's saying all of the right things and doing all of the right things, but for some reason, I think she is just going with the flow with the hopes that our guy will one day come around and become mono (a problem that he has had before). I have seen her engage in things around him that she said she adamantly didn't participate in just to please him (I am guilty of this as well, hence the uncomfortable threesome), and I really think this is the case with the whole poly thing. She just seems like one of those settle down chicks. For instance, she SAYS she would be open to entertaining women, but I don't get that vibe at all whereas in my situation with our guy, I was totally open to it (even entertained it with a random girl), just not with HER.
There have already been instances where I feel like she is trying to put me in a bad light, and I'm sure she is taking full advantage of the fact that she is the "around the corner" girl, but something just doesn't... feel... right.
Granted, I am the most competitive person in the world (trust, I sized her up from the minute I met her as I 'm sure she did me which probably led to our mutual discomfort when placed in a group situation), and that could be part of what I'm feeling added to the fact that naturally, I am comparing myself to her (not healthy, but natural) which has led to some insecurities on my part, but there are just so many questions and feelings...
Honestly, part of me hopes that she's going to show her true colors sooner than later and just turn our guy off. Then part of me just worries that I am the young, dumb pu_ _ y in the whole scenario (he keeps saying he likes my "potential"... Ummm...I'm pretty damn spectacular NOW!!!!) and that he is hoping to mold me into what he wants...
I dunno. We are going to see each other soon, and I think another conversation is in order. It's obvious that the NRE is starting to wear off and the reality is starting to kick in. This may be the opportune time to make a break....
This is all SOOOOOOOO new....