Happy-ish Stable-ish, Uneventful Poly

Omg It's here

Happybirthday LEF ... Hope you have a great day. :D


..hope one of those slobs buys you the silk robe you need / deserve....deserve/ need. Wow ...Opening up that need want debate. In your case I'd go with the shorty robe ....put your own naughty spin on that look. I think you should put some needle point dragons on the back ....you could knock that out in a couple days :D. A three headed dragon ....get the symbolism :D. That just came to me ...

Have fun ....don't dink and drive :D. ........< not a typo
 
Wow DH...I don't even know what to say to..most of that! Thank you though :p What does LEF mean.... urban dictionary doesn't seem to think it's dirty.

I had a very nice date with Brian last night, and got home to find Adam (who has cooked for me 5 times in a decade) finishing a cake he'd made for me from scratch (cake AND frosting...damn even I don't do that). I was thinking I was going to have the best birthday week/weekend ever, but woke up this morning feeling sick. I'm sure Adam will be fine just cuddling and watching a movie instead of me keeping our plans, but I'm hoping it won't interfere with my date with Greg or my date with ME this weekend.

Thinking a stressful period will be coming up and I haven't quite recovered from the current one. Having three partners was going swimmingly well time management wise all things considered, but Adam's new job/commute leaves an hour or two less together every weekday on the days we are both home, and his half day Fridays we used for errands/dates disappeared. At first it was just irritating, but it's starting to take a toll and we aren't getting enough time to connect anymore. The last couple of days we started bouncing the idea of selling the house (even though its financially shitty time to do so) and renting as close to his work as possible instead of going with the original idea of selling in a year. I foresee grumpy times in the future, but it will be worth it if we can swing it - we'll get that time back and happily enough end up living closer to Greg, and hopefully Brian, which means nobody ever has to spend an hour or more during rush hour to make it to a date.
 
Wow sick on your birthday .....:(. Wow that sucks.


How was the cake? Is he going to be the next buddy the baker :D


I can see future threads ....competition among poly partners for the " best " gift....biggest gift....size does matter :D


LEF ....it was from your b&b weekend ....lady Hef
 
Thanks RP!

And...oh DH...I'll remember that. Yes, I'm sure everybody I date will start competing to make me the best french pastries and bonbons and soon I'll spend all day lounging around watching soaps and...oh crap most of those are off the air arent they... scrap that plan

The cake is actually surprisingly good - ugly as hell though ;)
 
It's been quite a month.

I've learned some things about myself - mainly that I can't compartmentalize, and if one partner is really stressed it affects me too & it will spill over to make me anxious and tense during what would normally be positive time with other partners. I really didn't know I didn't have that ability, it hasn't been tested really before.

It's not like it hasn't been a clusterfuck - both of my other partners are going through separation or divorce, and a metamour passed away. My partner Greg just happens to be the most emotionally projecting person I've ever spent time with, and I tend to be an emotional sponge, so the combination of that with all the loss and grief has been powerful, to say the least. I think the worst concentration of it is over, and luckily Adam and Brian have rolled with it while I've been distracted and not as present as I'd like.

Poly camp was last weekend and I went with Greg. Brian was attending but ended up deciding not to camp since he got down there after dark and the grounds were pitch black. I'm sure there were pros and cons to that. Ended up having a couple of communication issues with Greg, the type with a side of "I assumed" statements thrown in. I don't even know how many people overheard our conversations, but I'm trying not to worry about it. As an introvert all my energy was drained trying to deal with being open and friendly in a campground full of strangers, so I'm not surprised things got stressful. Both issues got talked out, and we each learned more about each other, and a bit more how to ask for the things that aren't intuitive for the other to give.

I'm guessing it's wise for me to not go to poly meet ups, although Adam just mentioned going to a new local one that's popped up, so I might suck it up and try, since he would like my company. I like one on one or small groups, I'm just far too shy when I'm in a crowd of strangers - I'd rather a coffee date with a stranger any day. Glad I went, but I probably wouldn't put myself through that again unless I'd know at least a few other attendees somewhat well. I got to meet a couple of lovely people from here too, although I didn't get a chance to talk with them. Cause I'm a bashful dumbass, le sigh.

I did get to know Greg's other partner a bit which was nice, she's a fucking pistol and cracked me up. I don't know if we'll end up being friends but I wouldn't mind if it worked out that way. I happened to wander across the two of them leaving the cabin they'd been having naked sexy times in, and it was nice that the thoughts that ran through my head were first that I was glad to see them, and then wondering if I was supposed to feel awkward at running into them right after. It's been a long time since I've been in the same place when I had to test that sort of situation, and I'm glad I was still comfortable. I got myself plenty of issues but apparently jealousy still isn't one of them.
 
Of course it ate my post so I guess I'll make this one shorter! 5 years huh? I come and visit, but I think I got burnt out on the new poly posts after so long.

Adam and I got divorced a couple of years ago. After we broke up he admitted he was a compulsive liar which explained a lot but I've certainly had a lot of processing to sort out the cognitive dissonance that comes from over a decade of manipulative behavior. My last serious partner and I broke up a year ago. I've identified as solo poly for the last year and a half. Focusing more on casual dating while I learn to make good choices and say "no" a lot more, as well as trying to figure out how to operate along the lines of Fuck Yes when it comes to dating. https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes

So not sure I'll be journaling much since I'm not being anonymous (and I'll probably shudder when I go read through this journal), but while Reddit has it's uses, I love the personal touch of this forum.
 
I'm glad you decided to check in. It's good to hear that you are letting yourself be solo while you get your partner selection problems worked out. I hope you are having fun.

Leetah
 
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