Checking in with Great News!!!
It's been a year since I posted last and l and I wanted to share some positive things about the lifestyle for those of you who are still not sure if it will work for you or not.
Richard and I have remained in the lifestyle now for 5 1/2 years. The main components we have stayed focused on are trust, respect and honesty. Open communication is the most important part of living a polyamorous lifestyle.
We entered the lifestyle – as a lot of people do – with the idea that we would find a woman that could join us in our relationship. And then we thought maybe we could find a couple that we could see regularly and have a long-term relationship – basically a quad is what we hoped to find.
But as the years went on, relationships with others have come and gone. I would say that we have relationships with about eight couples and a handful of singles, but they are all casual and I wouldn't consider that any of these feel that we are developing a serious long-term connection. Just maybe "friends with benefits" which – there's nothing wrong with that at all!
And we have accepted that and have been enjoying meeting new people spending time with them and accepting that we will probably all go our own ways.
But I met a couple two years ago and really liked them a lot. They live in the area of my beach condo. Richard's work schedule has prevented him from spending a lot of time there so he only had the opportunity to meet them on one occasion and it ended up just being a social meeting at a restaurant since I had a vanilla friend with me also.
I continued to see the couple I will call them (Robbie and Bob) and I started spending time with her one on one and doing things with her and other girlfriends and one night she told me she thought she was in love with me.
I began to take the relationship more seriously but I really wanted Richard to have another opportunity to be around her and her husband to see how things might develop.
Richard purchased a Country home and Farm just 30 miles north of my beach condo which has been great! Well- come to find out- his house is 10 minutes away from Robbie and Bob's house! And that just happened- you could say it is a coincidence!!
So, since Richard has had a break in his work schedule that opportunity came about a month ago for the four of us to get together. We invited them to his Country house!! And to my great delight Robbie and Richard really hit it off!
We had our second official date – all four of us – last night. And it went very well. Richard and Robbie spent a lot of the evening just kissing and being affectionate to one another......basically getting to know one another.
It makes me so happy to have a couple that has shown up in our lives and the compatibility seems really great -all four ways. She is bisexual and she and I are very attracted to each other and feel really close to one another.
Neither Richard nor Bob feel threatened if she and I want to get together without the guys and invite another guy over for a sexual evening which we have done several times!
The guys are straight so there is no question about them getting along sexually but as far as guy talk and feeling comfortable with one another -they definitely do seem to like each other.
I just wanted to share this because I know a lot of couples get discouraged but my message is to stay true to yourself -learn how to set boundaries and say no and be able to say yes when something good comes up. Honor one another and honor each other's boundaries. Talk a lot --share -trust each other and always be honest and give each other freedom while always being there for each other.
I enjoy Bob sexually and he's got a pleasant personality also so that's great too! I am excited to see how our relationships develop and deepen through time.
It's one thing to be open to meeting other people and getting to know them and being sexual with them – that in itself it has been extremely fulfilling satisfying and exciting!
But seeing the potential of long term relationship development starting to unfold is great!! Give things time….be patient and always true to the most ethical boundaries that you can honor….and try to raise them also if necessary. Keeping the highest ethics possible goes a long way to setting the stage for something wonderful and when the wonderful comes along, the foundation is solid!!
Feel free to message me- I am a Life Coach and glad to be a sounding board for anyone who is navigating this (sometimes crazy) lifestyle!!