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  #401  
Old 02-27-2015, 03:36 PM
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Dating is a numbers game. There are more incompatible people out there than compatible ones. The more you put yourself out there and date, the more people you will turn down or walk away from. Doesn't matter if one is poly or mono, or what the reason is - that's how dating goes. Why worry about "how many" you reject? Eventually you meet people with whom it does work. It may take a long time but meeting that person who fits will make everything you've been through prior to that absolutely worth the trouble.
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Last edited by nycindie; 02-27-2015 at 03:39 PM.
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  #402  
Old 02-27-2015, 08:05 PM
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Re (from SuddenlyStoneElf):
Quote:
"How many people did you all have to let go, avoid or ignore because they were inherently monogamous? Did you even have to? (Especially those of you who just 'met' people without filtering first.)"
I used to let people go because *I* was a practicing monogamist. When I no longer had the heart to keep following monogamous rules, that's when the people showed up in my life who would become my poly partners. Almost as if my change in attitude had magnetized them.

If you're using OKCupid, it's easy, wise, and ethical to make your poly intentions plainly visible on your profile. If you're seeking people through meatspace channels, they need to know of your poly intentions ASAP. Which, since you can't detect who's poly-inclined just by looking at them, is likely to earn you a lot of rejection. Unless you limit your dating pool to environments that tend to be populated by poly-inclined persons. Local poly groups are the obvious way to go, but many fringe groups (SCA, BDSM, GLBTQ, etc.) have a tendency to be poly-friendly too.

Yes it's unfortunate that many/most mainstream people are unwilling to consider polyamory, even hypothetically. In the meantime, I can only choose my own actions, so I have to try to decide how to make the best of it.
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  #403  
Old 04-11-2015, 03:59 AM
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Question Meeting Others

How do some of you meet potential romantic partners?

I live in what's considered a "poly-friendly" area, meaning the region overall really but my actual immediate area isn't quite so. I dislike dating sites, but kind of feel it's the only option. I like to meet people and have things sort of click "organically", if that makes any sense. Hubs met his last FWB (wonderful gal, still all on friendly terms) through some online site.

So I'm curious if I'm alone and if the majority are more like hubs?
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  #404  
Old 04-11-2015, 04:16 AM
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Roger and I both knew our OSO (other significant others) as friends first. Jack and I have been friends for ages, and Roger and Taylor worked together (NOT recommended for everyone, but it worked for them). Sorry to say I've had no experience with dating sites!
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  #405  
Old 04-11-2015, 12:13 PM
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If you do a Tag Search for the phrase "meeting people," you will find lots of good threads on this topic.
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  #406  
Old 04-11-2015, 01:23 PM
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I met nate on MySpace, I was married to to my ex at the time. I met sam through work and he dated my friend briefly a few years ago.

Ive met other in real life, poly match maker, and adult friend finder. Nate has met people on Fetlife and meetme.
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  #407  
Old 04-13-2015, 12:15 AM
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Of the two acqaintances I've ever had that turned into intimate partnerships, both were with someone I met IRL. I tried OKCupid for quite awhile but had no luck. But I know that many people do have good luck with OKC.
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  #408  
Old 04-13-2015, 12:22 AM
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I prefer meeting people in real life.
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  #409  
Old 04-13-2015, 02:11 AM
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I've done lots of dating by meeting guys online, but I met my long term boyfriend in real life.
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  #410  
Old 04-14-2015, 05:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Of the two acqaintances I've ever had that turned into intimate partnerships, both were with someone I met IRL. I tried OKCupid for quite awhile but had no luck. But I know that many people do have good luck with OKC.
I had an OKC profile for a while (technically, still do) but I never actually met a single new person on there. Reconnected with an old FWB, but the one date we did go on, I could tell nothing had changed with him and it was a total waste of time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
I prefer meeting people in real life.
I'm the same. I like my relationships to happen... organically. You know, no differently than a mono person bumping into someone at a coffee shop or in a book store, hitting it off and exchanging numbers. Problem is, I don't go out much. I did go out on V-Day with Hubs and Wifey (she was in town) and was flirted with, even hit on, but nothing beyond that. I think it's difficult since I'm a full-time parent, I don't even had daytime to go grab lunch with someone since I homeschool. So I did turn to online but after a bunch of creeps, left it.
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