Hi guys. My name's Renae, I'm from Vernon, NJ and I'm dating a guy for a year now who just broke up with his other girlfriend of five years. Needless to say, I'm in a rough spot and I need advice about how to deal with a lot of things...
The relationship started out as a triad, with me dating both my boyfriend and his primary. She and I were incompatible and so the triad broke up, but I continued to date him. She wasn't aware for most of the relationship, though he told her in mid September.
Their relationship, to say the least, was rocky. They love one another but they were not able, despite years of trying, to reconcile their differences and make it work. A lot of trust was destroyed and in the end they were not living together.
The breakup is recent: they ended it officially last night though for the past few weeks it has been all but over anyway. I'm concerned about a lot of things...
1) Though I'm happy that the bad situation is over for him and now he and I have a chance to solidify our relationship (we both agreed to temporary monogamy after he ended things with her), I am very sad for her and of course worried about him. I'm not sure what to say to him or how to help, and I really don't know if I should let him be temporarily until he can sort things out.
2) I'm nervous about what this change means for us. She was there throughout the entirety of our relationship and now we are faced with the challenge of forming our own solid relationship without her being a part of it. I feel like we can get through it but it doesn't change the fact that I'm nervous.
Any advice? Has anyone ever experienced this?
The relationship started out as a triad, with me dating both my boyfriend and his primary. She and I were incompatible and so the triad broke up, but I continued to date him. She wasn't aware for most of the relationship, though he told her in mid September.
Their relationship, to say the least, was rocky. They love one another but they were not able, despite years of trying, to reconcile their differences and make it work. A lot of trust was destroyed and in the end they were not living together.
The breakup is recent: they ended it officially last night though for the past few weeks it has been all but over anyway. I'm concerned about a lot of things...
1) Though I'm happy that the bad situation is over for him and now he and I have a chance to solidify our relationship (we both agreed to temporary monogamy after he ended things with her), I am very sad for her and of course worried about him. I'm not sure what to say to him or how to help, and I really don't know if I should let him be temporarily until he can sort things out.
2) I'm nervous about what this change means for us. She was there throughout the entirety of our relationship and now we are faced with the challenge of forming our own solid relationship without her being a part of it. I feel like we can get through it but it doesn't change the fact that I'm nervous.
Any advice? Has anyone ever experienced this?