Hi,
I’m a current college student that’s been in poly relationships for the past few years of my life, having just gotten out of a two year one. These past relationships have all been online and with people who were dating others, but with me as their primary. I don’t often have others I’m seeing besides my primary because I am very selective of who I’m interested in, needing a strong friendship bond before I can even have a crush on someone. Recently I’ve been dating a guy who’s self titled as being attracted to anything that moves. It’s been good so far as he hasn’t really been seeing anyone, just telling me about crushes and few escapades which I’m fine and encourage him with. However, recently he told me that him and a best friend of both of ours are thinking of becoming more serious and I found myself feeling very strange on it. While I encourage him to go out and do things with others and have romantic relations, the idea of him with one of my best friends makes me feel weird. I feel jealous of the attention that he gave her while I’m off at work, however, I think this jealously just may be due to my long fear of being replaced in friend groups, only this time heightened due to a real relationship.
I’m also not as open sexually with him due to trauma and other constraints, but I know that our close friend is very open to sex which makes me worried that he’s going to make her a main sexual partner. And with that slowly leave me as I’m not needed? I know that this fear may sound irrational, but I have extreme paranoia and anxiety, having had these situations happen before.
How should I feel? How do I approach this topic with my partner? Should I try to get interested in our close friend so that we can all be together ?
I’m a current college student that’s been in poly relationships for the past few years of my life, having just gotten out of a two year one. These past relationships have all been online and with people who were dating others, but with me as their primary. I don’t often have others I’m seeing besides my primary because I am very selective of who I’m interested in, needing a strong friendship bond before I can even have a crush on someone. Recently I’ve been dating a guy who’s self titled as being attracted to anything that moves. It’s been good so far as he hasn’t really been seeing anyone, just telling me about crushes and few escapades which I’m fine and encourage him with. However, recently he told me that him and a best friend of both of ours are thinking of becoming more serious and I found myself feeling very strange on it. While I encourage him to go out and do things with others and have romantic relations, the idea of him with one of my best friends makes me feel weird. I feel jealous of the attention that he gave her while I’m off at work, however, I think this jealously just may be due to my long fear of being replaced in friend groups, only this time heightened due to a real relationship.
I’m also not as open sexually with him due to trauma and other constraints, but I know that our close friend is very open to sex which makes me worried that he’s going to make her a main sexual partner. And with that slowly leave me as I’m not needed? I know that this fear may sound irrational, but I have extreme paranoia and anxiety, having had these situations happen before.
How should I feel? How do I approach this topic with my partner? Should I try to get interested in our close friend so that we can all be together ?